the movieGOOMBA

Love Happens

2009-09-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

1 GOOMBA

In the mood for something funny? In the mood for some romance? Something cute and tingly? Well, this is not the movie for you. Love Happens, is when love does not happen. Love is not nearby. It is far . . . far far away.

Hypocritical self help celebrity, Burke, works through his dysfunctional issues while trying to kindle a relationship with florist, Eloise.

Jennifer Aniston stars in another flop alongside failed other half, Aaron Eckhart. The plot lagged, the couple had no chemistry, and the story was a complete downer. But above all, Burke was an undesirable man and Eloise was not a good muse. None of Burke's actions seem inspired by anything, especially her. One could argue that Walter, the stoic man's man, who was able to open up after the death of his son, might have stirred a change in Burke, but this is suppose to be a romance, not a "I Love You, Man" flick.

But I'll let you guess, do you think Burke and Eloise end up together in the end? Oh the suspense! And you'll just never know because I've just convinced you to never see it.

I would like to comment on how cute I thought Aniston's wardrobe was, but that aside, this movie gets no love from me.

Julie & Julia

2009-08-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

One of my favorite pastimes is eating, not so much the cooking part, but the eating. Cooking takes too much time and effort, and I'm too impatient to do things the right way; like pulling the chicken out of the freezer the night before to defrost, pre-heating the oven, or going to the store once a week so you always have fresh food. It's all too much planning and prep. I just want to eat.

Julie & Julia reunites two of my favorite actresses, Amy Adams and Meryl Streep, in this lighthearted comedy about the life of Julia Child and dedicated fan, Julie Powell. Julie, is a restless cubicle worker who decides that she needs to make a change in her life, so she sets a goal to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook and write a blog about her experiences. In a separate lifetime, but featured in parallel, Julia Child is at the beginning of a burgeoning career, and her struggles to make it as a chef are given buoyancy with her pleasantly eccentric mannerisms.

I loved this movie's characters. Julie Powell is someone I could definitely relate to, as I found myself in her same position 2 years ago when I started this blog. Though not as successful as her, I still feel accomplishment every time I post. :) Then there is Julia Child, who is a perfect concoction of spunk and effervescent optimism. Meryl Streep, as always, embraces her role, and as this popular chef, she made Julia's extreme personality charming and adorable.

But as cute as this movie was, something bothered me. Toward the end of Julie's storyline, there was a reference to a possible hint of animosity from Julia toward Julie. And even that hint seemed totally out of character from the person Meryl portrayed. Also, there was no major climax to the plot. Julie &Julia is what I categorize as a steady flick; movies like The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio or Must Love Dogs; movies that have one tone. It's a cute movie, but not necessarily a good one.

So if you choose to watch this movie, watch it while you're full or you'll be as hungry as a bear before the film is through, go with girlfriends, and remember, Bon Appetit!

Funny People

2009-08-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

Finding humor in a tragic situation can be a gift. It can defy four out of the five stages of dying - denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Laughter is the best medicine, after all. But in the case of George Simmons, these stages manifest themselves in humor.

George Simmons (Adam Sandler) is a professional comedian who started in stand up but has a made a career that includes major motion pictures, big-name magazine covers, multi-million dollar houses, hot girls, and no friends. When he finds out that he has a deadly disease, he goes back to his roots in stand up comedy, gains a dark edge, and befriends a young, aspiring comedian, Ira (Seth Rogen), who is grounded, loyal, and star-struck.

Through the course of this dramedy, it becomes evident that George is a selfish ass, but Sandler's depiction is subtle and surprisingly likable. Ira is George's opposite - occasionally selfish but does the right thing when it counts. The development of their relationship was fun to watch at first, but then the movie just dragged; dragged during George's attempts to win his married ex-girlfriend back; dragged when hunky Eric Bana beats the crap out of frumpy Sandler. The film lost my interest, and by the end, I didn't care so much about Ira or George. Where's the humor in watching a train wreck?

It was cool to see into the life of the comedian lifestyle; a lifestyle that isn't portrayed that often in movies - the hard work, the creativity behind a good joke, the need for a lucky break, and the glamorous poverty of an unsuccessful career in the entertainment industry. However, I couldn't help but feel this watch was a waste of my time. The flick may star funny people, but it wasn't that funny. I'd skip it for something else. Funny People includes cameos from Marshall Mathers, Ray Ramano, and James Tayler.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

2009-07-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

I love summer flicks. The first blockbuster I remember watching was Independence Day. I was twelve-years-old, and I remember sitting in the cold theater, grateful that I was out of the heat, and laughing at Will Smith's comic relief line of "Welcome to Earth" as he punched out the alien. That's good stuff right there. Yes, the flick might be lame, but Bill Pullmen still had the best inspirational president speech I've ever seen. But one of this summer's most anticipated blockbusters, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is lame.

The Decepticons breached the security of the U.S. governemnt to find the location of Megatron, who was previously dumped at the bottom of the ocean, and brought him back to life using a splinter from the Allspark left on Sam Witwicky's sweater. Megatron is then reunited with his leader, The Fallen, who wants to kill Earth by destroying the Sun, so the Autobots join forces with Sam Witwicky once more to stop them.

A terrible follow up to the first film, Revenge of the Fallen is almost, but not quite, trashy. The all encompassing, goodness incarnate, Optimus Prime of the first film has been degraded to shooting enemies execution-style and saying wannabe bad-ass remarks that I would only expect from an Arnold; the quick-witted, dorky Sam is no longer lovable and boyish - he's just a selfish teenager; and the film took a turn for the worse when it decided to show Agent Simmon's behind in a Sector Seven thong. Riddled with crude humor, it was aweful to see how the sequel of a good family film was spun into this monstraisity. Those scenes with Mrs. Witwicky were espcially hard to watch. It's only saving factor was the intense action scenes aided by the amazing CG.

So in closing, Independence Day is an example of a good summer movie - fun, filled with action, entertaining, and no need for brainpower. Revenge of the Fallen exemplifies a bad summer movie - cheap humor, bad plot, expensive explosions.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2009-07-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

4 GOOMBAS

I read Harry Potter almost every night. Sometimes, I'll only read parts; other times, I'll start reading a whole book all the way through. And each time is always just as good as the first. I do this because I need to remind myself that, though fantasy, there exists a world where good always triumphs over evil. I do this because when I start to feel the insignificance in a world so large, I'm reminded that love and friendship is what gives my life meaning.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opened at midnight, setting the new record for midnight sales at $22.2 million. In his sixth year, Harry returns to Hogwarts and faces the wizarding world as "The Chosen One." During private lessons, Dumbledore shows Harry memories that he has collected, in the hopes that they find something that will help them destroy Lord Voldemort.

Though not as intense as its predecessors, Prince is basically just a set-up for the the last installments of the Potter series. I don't think this film is able to stand on its own, but its very good just the same. When the movie stopped to look into the calmer moments of the trio, Hermione, Ron and Harry, it had a number of funny, light-hearted scenes, but almost equal were scenes of heartache and grief. Also, I thought this film did an excellent job of making Harry a likeable character (at this point in the novels, Harry is quite stubborn and obsessive), and the filmmakers did a fairly good job of abbreviating the plot. However, as an avid book fan, I did think they left a lot of important details out. I'm not sure how they'll manage to explain some things in the next film, but if they do, I won't complain.

Coming of age is a bittersweet ordeal, and what struck me the most about this movie was the general tone of maturity. There are certain things in life that you have to go at alone; the first day of kindergarten, moving away from home - anything that involves growing up and making your way through this world, anything involving a defining decision. And that is where Harry is; on the verge of a defining decision. So, just a few hours ago, when I finished watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I was left with loneliness. Though Harry is supported and in the company of truly loyal friends, I'm reminded that Harry is still alone with his burden.

And I feel alone with him.

Blindness

2009-02-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

Whenever I play the "would you rather" game, very rarely do I hear someone prefer to go blind when faced with the vision verses hearing question. The fact is, if you lose your sense of sight, it seems harder to function "normally." You can't drive, you can't read, you can't watch TV, (Lord, I couldn't watch movies!) and you'd have a hard time just walking. And so, the movie Blindness takes these real dilemmas to the next level. What if the whole world went blind?

Based on the novel by Jose Saramago, Blindness portrays a world suffering from a blindness epidemic. Though curious about the how the disease came to be, like most adequate science fiction films, the cause isn't the point - it's what ensues. Mark Ruffalo stars as doctor fallen victim to the infection and Julienne Moore is his disease immune wife who follows him to quarantine, AKA internment camp. From there, let your pessimistic imagination run wild.

What I found very fascinating was how intense and realistic some of these scenes were. These internment camps became toxic waste dumps. Unable to see, these people couldn't manage to do what we take for granted - knowing how to find the bathroom, how to bath, how to live. And those uninfected are unwilling to care for them. Though under military governance, inside the ward walls is complete and total anarchy; ::shudders:: horrors I don't even want to think about but was forced to watch.

The lighting, in general, is ethereal, unique, and thoroughly thought out. There were also times of complete darkness; symbolic of their utter desperation and civilization's decent into savagery. Blindness also becomes a commentary on society's failure to see how and who people can become when faced with such hardship.

However, somewhere in the middle of this world Blindness created, there were character developments that didn't quite make sense, and relationship that weren't fully construed. Though the world was mesmerizing, its characters were too flawed for me to find empathy. Plus the hope was lost in the ending, a feeling I'm assuming I was suppose to feel at the end. Maybe I just didn't get it, but I'm fairly certain I'm not blind.

Priceless

2009-02-16T15:42:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

Filmed in France and originally released there in 2006, Hors de prix, or its American title, Priceless, took quite some time to reach the United States. Apparently, its a French adaption of the American classic, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Good thing I didn't know about that fact when I first watched it, or it might have biased my opinion - though I did keep saying to myself how the movie seemed strangely familiar.

This sweet, not so French, film stars Audrey Tautou as Irene, a glamorous, young con artist who manipulates wealthy men into spoiling her. Jean is a shy butler with humble means, and after a classic case of mistaken identities, Jean is smitten by her. When she realizes that he's poor, she still, coldly lets Jean spends every cent of his savings for one evening with his expensive date. After he's stuck with the luxury hotel bill, unable to pay it, and ditched by Irene, a wealthy, older woman happily assumes the cost as long as he becomes her playmate. Now, both at the same level, Irene accepts Jean's friendship and begins teaching him the ways of the wile.

Nothing seemed French about this film, other than the fact that I watched this film with English subtitles. A great story, both characters become equally lovable - though at the beginning, that didn't seem likely. Jean is sensitive and intensely devoted, while Irene is enchanting and ardent past her shallow and materialistic exterior. Their friendship and his devotion were very real and engaging. Priceless was bright and cute, with just that hint of extra class found very rarely in romantic comedies.

I definitely recommend Priceless to anyone who wants to watch a cute movie. Be ready for English subtitles and a gorgeous Audrey Tautou in high fashion clothing. Advice from the movieGOOMBA - this is not a movie to watch when you feel bloated.

The movieGOOMBA Catch Up

2009-02-11T23:48:00.000-08:00

I appologize for my hiatus, but I should be back with more frequent posts in these next upcoming weeks. In the meantime, sink your teeth into some of these ratings.

Hamlet 2 - 2 GOOMBAS
"Raped in the face" and in my brain. "Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus!"
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - 3 GOOMBAS
Surprisingly, a not crass romantic comedy, but with a thrown in, male full frontal.
Be Kind Rewind - 2 GOOMBAS
A weird mix of pathos and comedy. I give it props for a creative idea for a plot.
You Don't Mess With the Zohan - 1 GOOMBA
So stupid, so dumb, so gross. I'm surprised I made it through the entire movie.
Wanted - 2 GOOMBAS
I've never seen two hotter people on screen together. I would turn lesbian for Angelina. TERRIBLE movie, good action.
The Chronicals of Narnia: Prince Caspian - 3.5 GOOMBAS
Magically engaging and action scenes to challenge any epic film
Get Smart - 2 GOOMBAS
The Rock and Micheal Scott do not cook so well. I thought this movie was way too silly.
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - 2 GOOMBAS
Boring, boring, boring - but Amy Adams is as good as always.
Made of Honor - 3 GOOMBAS
So cute. I think about this movie a lot as the date for my own wedding draws near.
Mama Mia! - 2 GOOMBAS
I could not stand this movie. All the women were so annoying!
The Spiderwick Chronicles - 2.5 GOOMBAS
This flick has strong child leads, and I'm sure the story is solid; yet Spiderwick didn't translate its world so well on film.

Look forward to the movieGOOMBA's next post on Priceless in the next few days.

Yes Man

2009-01-17T09:45:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

Many people find it hard to use the word "no." Me included. So this concept of having to say "yes" to everything didn't seem like it was too far off from the everyday lives of those yessers. So the Yes Man actually looked pretty lame, especially with the dementedly crazy Jim Carrey as the lead.

Playing a seemingly similar character from a previous role in Liar Liar (a movie the movieGOOMBA does not recommend), Jim Carrey is Carl Allen, a low paid loan officer who possess the gift of saying no. To his own detriment, however, he feels the need to say no to everything, which has turned him into a no-saying recluse. Then, after visiting a seminar on "Yes!" Carl is cast under some type of spell, a la Shallow Hal, and he winds up saying yes to everything, which includes, flying lessons, learning Korean, letting a 70-year-old-neighbor lady have her way with him, and approving any and all loans that make its way onto his desk.

Quite watchable, and vastly better than I could have ever expected, Yes Man was actually a chick flick. Go figure. Zooey Deschanel plays his love interest, and though wide eyed and quite monotone, she has a quality that balances a comedian's zany disposition. She's cute and charming, yet not typical. She makes an excellent foil to Carey's strange mannerisms.

This movie was also quite empowering. It illustrates how carpe diem can change or define a life. Carl became a new man, made new friends, and found happiness.

I thought this was quite a nice, but occasionally disturbing, flick. It is Jim Carrey comedy after all. This ain't no Majestic, but it sure beat my expectations. Say "yes" to the Yes Man.

Slumdog Millionaire

2008-12-22T22:59:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

"Slumism is the pent-up anger of people living on the outside of affluence. Slumism is decay of structure and deterioration of the human spirit. Slumism is a virus which spreads through the body politic. As other “isms,” it breeds disorder and demagoguery and hate. " The words of Hubert Humphrey could be right under most circumstances, but Slumdog Millionaire is about overcoming poverty driven obstacles and the curious and light-hearted energy that can exist in this harsh environment.

Jamal Malik has been arrested for suspicion of cheating on India's version of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' because he's about to win. But how can a slumdog, seventeen years old to boot, know enough to win the million? And thus, we're taken through the course of his life by way of intericate flashbacks, and we see for oursleves how life experience can singificantly alter one's present. It's been a long time since I've seen a movie of this caliber.

Shot on the streets of India, Slumdog is full of hope and great story-telling. I was surprised to know that much of this intercrately weaved film was in English, but most of Jamal's youth was told in Hindi. I think that many viewers may find this movie to be eye opening. It isn't everyday that American's sitting in their cushy stadium seating see children living in landfills and fearing organized begging rings. But aside from international awareness, Slumdog is touching and its hero posseses an ironic innocense and unyielding spirit that makes this film unique and touching.

Don't be fooled by the seemingly cheesy premise. I'm guessing that the decision to base it around a game show has something to do with Indian culture in general. India loves light-hearted, sometimes (mostly) corny media (e.g. the Bollywood musical), and I appreciated the thought to add the authentic cultural influence. However, in no way is Slumdog corny.

Slumdog has cinematic style and class - hip but not trendy. Ocassionally, some scenes were shot in documentary style while his happy childhood memories look like nostaligic home movies. It definitely had cinéma vérité influences. The lighting marks each scene's tone, and then, there was the awesome soundtrack filled wth pop music from around the world. And I cannot forget to mention the subtle details in the subtitles, which is telling of the filmmaker's devotion to every component of this film

However, Slumdog's ending isn't as powerful as I hoped it would be, but my only compliant may have little to do with the movie and more to do with how jaded I am. There is remarkable quality found in this film, and it is worth watching - both for its story and for its message.

Sidenote: I thought the young Jamal was absolutely adorable.

Speed Racer

2008-12-16T22:25:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

Drug addicts of the world, you no longer have a need to take acid. I have found you an alternative. What you need is a DVD player and a copy of Speed Racer, the latest concoction presented by the Wachowski Brothers!

Based on the 1960's Japanese anime series of the same title, Speed Racer stars Emile Hirsch stars as Speed, the world's leading rookie race car driver. Walking in his brother's footsteps, Speed strives to be the best, but when an evil conglomerat, Royalton Industries, tries to recruit him as their new fresh face, Speed finds that refusing their offer doesn't make for such a smooth ride.

Speed Racer is a total visual mind trip. Overwhelming color, anti-gravitational effects, and a motif that's trapped between a cartoon and reality are all trademarks of this latest family flick. It will take about 30 minutes for you to get use to the sheer absurdity of what mostly looks like streaks across the screen, but once you've crossed the overwhelmingness of it all, it's good, fast fun from then on out. Completly jubullant and entertaining, Speed Racer is crazy and surreal. Tim Burton, eat your heart out. I throughly enjoyed the ridiculous, 360 degree, sideway flips the cars would do, and I thought the kiddy action out-weighed any unrealistic tendencies that this film seemed to focus on. There were chase scenes, fight scenes, explosions, and weapons that gave this film a intersting edge, and I think it was something that only the Wachoski Brothers could make cool.

My only two complaints are as follows: first, there is the story of Speed's dead brother. The closure to this piece of the puzzle was lame, and though this film in its entirety can be argued as lame, this part was exhaustively lame. Second, as much as I adore Matthew Fox, he sucks as a baddass, let alone as a supposedly intimidating 'Racer X.'

Speed Racer takes stamina and a little bit of courage. However, in the end, it was quite enjoyable. Sometimes people need a little speed.

Christina Ricci, Susan Surandon, and John Goodman also star.

Step Up 2: The Streets

2008-12-15T22:51:00.001-08:00

1 GOOMBA

Dance is such a great form of expression, and it's such a great skill to have. People are always impressed if you know how to do any kind of dance, but there are some kinds that I can't find the appreciation for. For instance, I go to a religous conference every few years, and every time I go, they always have these expressionist dancers that I find distracting. I dare say that its kind of corny (God is going to shoot lightning at me now). But ribbon twirler's aside, I also didn't enjoy watching the "street" dancing that Step Up 2 the Streets exposèd.

Back at Maryland School of the Art (MSA), Andie West finds herself in a whole new world. A part of a local gang of street dancers, 4-1-0, Andie has become a common hooligan. So Andie's aunt sends her to MSA school in hopes that she can get her act together and go to college. Of course, her first few months at the art school are rough. She doesn't fit in, and her style of dance is considered beneath the schools standards. With the help of another student (who also happens to be the brother of MSA's school director) Andie finds herself expanding the school's idea of art and finding the confidence to battle at The Streets.

I don't normally care about how bad a dance movie's plot is or how cheesy the love story is - as long as the dancing is good. However, I must say that this was probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a very long time. It's "step up" from Fool's Gold, but still some kind of awful. First, its a sequel - but a Bring it On kind of sequel. Nothing new. Just a regurgitated plot and a new 'villian' to beat. Second, the dancing was so jerky. You know that dude the Britney Spears cheated on Justin with; Wade Robson? I'm sure he's suppose to be an excellent dancer, but something just seems so stiff about the way he dances. Same with the moves in this movie. If that's what street dancing is suppose to be, I'm not a fan. Third, yes the end 'battle' was insanely (in a good way) choreographed, but seriously, the rain and the conspicuous stage lighting? If this movie was suppose mimic street culture, the street is a glamorous place.

There's an energy that draws audiences to see attractive youth and sex with clothes, but I warn you not to succumb to what you may think is a guilty pleasure. So I digress into song: Skip this movie. Skip it, skip it, skippin' and a screamin' and a bop-d-bop. Skip it, skip it, this jingle is a better than the flick hop hop.

Sidenote: Channing Tatum makes a brief appearance as his original character Tyler Gage.
Sidenote: We have a whole lot to look forward to. They're making a thrid movie, Step Up 3: The Pace. Whopp-de-doo.

The Visitor

2008-12-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

4.5 GOOMBAS

When I was a kid, I always wondered what my teachers were like outside the classroom. Though I now realize that teachers are just normal people, like you and me, I still wonder about those older teachers; the ones with strange classroom ticks; the ones who dress frumpy, but are always in a coat and tie; the ones who don't ever seem to really enjoy spreading knowledge to the next generation. What do they go home to everyday?

Walter Vale is a white, east coast, university professor with no personality. He's silently pompous, quiet, and introverted. Sent to New York for a conference, he finds that two immigrants have been living in his New York apartment, his second home. Due to his loneliness, or his curiosity, he asks the couple to stay even though they insist on leaving, and from that moment, he forms a connection with these perfect strangers.

The Visitor is whole-heartedly the saddest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. There is a subtle, quiet but unbearable hopelessness in this film that is not obvious or apparent. Its not emotional or somber. But it's so real, and that's what makes The Visitor so tragic. Despite his conservative, white collared background, Walter becomes enthralled with the African drum that Tarek, one of his visitors, plays professionally. Through percussion music and new friendships, he acutally begins living. But then we are struck with how quickly life can be taken away, and Walter, once again, must go at it alone.

This film examines the conventional definition of 'visitor' and prompts the question, "am I a visitor in my own life?" This movie, is so much and so simple. I highly recommend this independent film, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it nominated for an Oscar.

Hancock

2008-12-01T12:59:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

There are benefits and costs for everything in life. In exchange for privacy, celebrities get to be rich and famous. In exchange for more free time and a social life, high ranking executives have power. In exchange for normalcy, super heros have super power. And us normal people wonder why they complain when they've been given a gift, but we fail to realize we have the gift.

John Hancock is a down-and-out, alcoholic bum, who also happens to have super powers. He is the only one of his kind, and because of this, he squanders his powers but often saves lives in unconventional, sometimes humiliating, and inconsiderate ways. His low-life personality and actions make him unfavorable with the public. Yet he somehow manages to garner the pity of the city's Public Relations Representative, Ray Embrey. With his help, Hancock is helped back on his feet, but it becomes apparent that there is more to Hancock's past than even Hancock thought.

A super-powered cast including Will Smith and Academy Award winning actress, Charlize Theron, Hancock had some high points. It had great special effects, exciting action scenes, a good leading actor, and it's just kind of an out-of-the-box concept.

But Hancock was a strange mixture of pathos and comedy. Thankfully, it was more serious than comedic, but this particular combination made aspects of this film feel seem childish and out of place; almost like a Spy Kids movie gone wrong. Yes, it is funny when Hancock throws the whale out into the ocean, and hits the sailboat by mistake. Yes, its funny that Hancock drunk flies. However, poking fun at his difficienceies but to try and simulteanously show that Hancock is a deeply tragic, lonely, and pathetic man gave me an 'off' kind of feeling - almost like I was being chastised for laughing at him in the first place. Plus, it jumped the shark when we found out the real foundations of Hancock's power. It was that point that I officially changed the label for this movie from "action comedy" to "low ranking family flick."

So, in summary, I had some problems with the overall plot strategy; however, everything else was okay. Hancock was great to watch over the Thanksgiving weekend, and it's perfect for a multi-generalition audience, so its both Grandparent and kid friendly. But I still like my super heros tragic and bad-ass. If they're going to be comedians, they need to been in a cartoon.

SPOILER ALERT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must digress here to rant a little bit about the whole Will Smith and Charlize Theron relationship.

1.) They have no on-screen chemistry.

2.) If they were suppose to be together since the beginning of time, how were they able to overcome the time of slavery and racist oppresion?

3.) What gives Mary (Theron) the right to give Hancock crap for the way he handles his super hero role, when she hides her powers and leaves the world to rot?

Penelope

2008-11-25T21:28:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

Every day, I am shocked by the cynicism and negative energy that surrounds my every day life. College friends and church youth groups didn't prepare me for the lasting anger and sarcasm that I face at work, in the car, or when surrounded by crazed holiday shoppers. Often, optimism, cheeriness and an overall positive attitude is labled "naive" or "gullible." Isn't that sad? Pollyanna and her 'glad game' would have freakin' roasted in this kind of environment. And with that, I belive that excitement for the modern day fairy tale is dead. Happy, feel good movies about love are labled "chick flicks." Romance films, cheesy. So what luck does a movie like Penelope have against a skeptic majority?

Magical and lovely, Penelope (Christina Ricci) is a girl born with a cursed nose. The only way to break the spell is if "one of her own," a blue blood like herself, accepts her as she is. So, when she turned 18, her family began the search for a suitor to fall in love and marry her. When man after man is appalled by her appearance, she loses all hope on love. Penelope becomes an unbeliever, yet she is unaware that her insight and charm inspire, especially the scruffy, yet handsome, Max Campion (James McAvoy).

Produced by Reese Witherspoon, Penelope is vividly colored, sweet, and bold. Though I'm often turned off by Christina Ricci's whiny voice and distracting forehead, she blossoms in this role as a snout-nosed, yet charming, socialite. Her chemistry with on screen hotty, James McAvoy, is swoon worthy, though I'm almost positive that McAvoy could have on-screen chemistry with even a cold potatoe. I also must say that The Nose grew on me. As the film wore on, I became quite fond of The Nose. The make up artists did a good job keeping Ricci's pleasant features and making The Nose cute but ugly all the same.

Penelope is magical, optomistic and delicate, and it crosses genre boundaries that enable it to reach larger audiences; however these larger audiences aren't watching.

Lacking anything distinguishing except for maybe its whimsical cinematography and, of course, The Nose, Penelope doesn't have an audience. So, it attempts to entertain the female watchers and no one else. The curse idea is too weird for general viewers to accept, and it's main theme of social acceptance is overshadowed by the romance (purposely, I'm sure), which marks this movie eternally as a chick flick. Character-titled, Penelope is about the girl, not the love story, but the filmmakers worked the love angle a little too much and unique Penelope lost to the stability of a romance plot line; all because the modern day fairy tale is dead. It could have been so good.

I like Penelope, but it lacks the cinematic openess to become something more than a TBS "Movies and a Make-Over" flick. Look for it there in 2010.

Similar movies that I would also recommend: Edward Sissorhands and Princess Bride.

Fools Gold

2008-11-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

1 GOOMBA

No!

Rambo

2008-11-14T22:29:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

By the age of 10, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson, Steven Siegal, and Arnold frequented my living room television set on a regular basis. The MPAA film rating system didn't really mean much to my parents. I'm not sure why, but I turned ok - I think. But for my parents, when it comes to big knives, big guns, big explosions, and testosterone packed, big muscled action, Rambo is usually the only answer. With my parents, I've watched Rambo hung by his arms and dipped into a murky pool filled with leeches; I've watched him struggle with a civilian lifestyle, and now, after the character's self-titled return, I've watched how plastic surgery can turn even Rambo, into a transvestite.

Still haunted by his own deamons, Rambo lives in the rural, polically unstable region of Thailand where he makes a living by driving a boat up and down river. A self-imposed social outcast, Rambo is asked by a group of humanitarians to be ferried through dangerous Burma territory so they can help a terrorized villiage who needs their medical attention. On their mission, they are, of course, captured by corrupt, militant agressors, and a squad of paid militia are sent to rescue them. Then, the militia get their butts kicked. So who comes to save them? You go it - Rambo.

Even though this movie has everything against it (aging hero, lack of creativity, corny plot), I couldn't help but enjoy sitting through it. There are some ridculously over-the-top dismemberment scenes with equally over-the-top computer generated blood; there is a strange protective energy that seems to draw Rambo to a young blonde woman, and it doesn't quite make too much sense (Is it sexual tension? Is it paternal?); And there is the strange ending where he's seen walking toward his parent's ranch home in Arizona. Somehow, I don't think a 60-year-old man going to get the same homecoming as a 20-year-old boy. Yet, despite all that, it was fun as hell to watch.

Totally entertaining with shooting scenes galore, Rambo survives the battle between the film industry's greed verses the film's creative intention. As a character, Rambo is kept true to his original form, at least so far - apparently there's going to be a Rambo V. We'll see if Rambo can survive the war too.

La Misma Luna Under the Same Moon

2008-10-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

I have a strong opinion on illegal immigration. I do not support illegal activity, but I do recognize the bravery of human beings who leave their family, friends, community, and culture behind to gain just a chance at making their lives something better than poverty.

One of many movies featuring this political topic, La Misma Luna is a family film about a mother and son seperated by a border. Rosario immigrated to the United States illegally so she could earn money to support her family in Mexico. She left behind her son, Carlitos, at the age of four, but every Sunday for four years, she calls him from a pay phone in the middle of East LA to let him know that she loves him. Back in Mexico, Carlitos, is under the care and watchful eye of his grandmother, but when she passes unexpectedly, his desperation leads him to cross the boarder alone. Along the way, he finds help from those running in the same direction and hopes that he can find his mother before Sunday so she won't worry about him.

Everything a family film should be, La Misma Luna explorers the notions of community, family, and the swaying balance between the American dream and the costs to obtain it. A heartstrings puller, this film does everything possible to enable the viewer to empathize with its main characters. As the young protagonist, Carlitos is an absolutely adorable, round-faced charmer whose innocence and trust in humanity get him through the journey. The movie also does a good job portraying the emotional hardship of a family divided by a border. The addition of some East LA, first-born Mexican American, and immigrant culture adds to the perspective and the wider message.

However, La Misma Luna was, at times, dull and the plot was extremely predictable. Usually, in the family film genre, predictability is good, but in this case I almost felt insulted. It was like the filmmakers tried to hide what the ending would hold. The film wasn't anything new or groundbreaking, and though it makes a great Saturday afternoon watch, I wouldn't think much more of it. Cute but average, Under the Same Moon is just another movie.

Inside Darkness

2008-10-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

The BIAS GOOMBA

The Pope, tradition, rosary beads, Purgatory – all prominent images of Catholic culture. In particular, the priesthood has been the subject of documentaries, comedies, and the occasional drama. But have you heard of a priest making the movie? Meet Father Dominic De Lay, writer/director extraordinaire. Aside from celebrating mass every Sunday, he makes movies as his ministry. A part of the Dominican Friar order, De Lay preaches through art, and so he does in his 36 minute short film entitled Inside Darkness.

Just in time for the 2008 Presidential Election, Inside Darkness features three presidential candidates trapped inside a dark room. The three hostages:
1.) Presidential incumbent, Yvette Anderson- Protestant, female, Republican
2.) Senator John Bowman - Catholic, black,[ former Colonel, Democrat
3.) Patrick Weller - atheist, intellectual, Independent
The last thing they remember is being at the presidential debate, and though they share the same last memory, they do not share the same ideas about leading a nation.

Intense and symbolic, Inside Darkness is thrilling and politically charged. The dissonant music adds to the tension, and it churns the paranoia that progressively creeps into the slow shrinking room. The use of lighting is creative and spurs discussion. Why, for example, are some characters cloaked in red light at some points in the film? Why are there single points of light in a room full of darkness? There are other concepts to examine in this short film - Why do the captors keep looking to the sky? Why did the filmmaker choose such diverse demographical representations for his characters? How does religion affect their decision making, both in the room and out? And then, there's that ear. What the heck does that ear mean? The death of listening? One-sided hearing? Who knows? That's for you to discuss.

The analysis of Inside Darkness can go on for hours and hours, and you'll notice that I've listed more questions than anything else. Completely abstract, Inside Darkness is not meant to provide answers, which can be frustrating. This film is not for the artistically narrow-minded. It is, at times, hard to follow. There is no obvious plot, and no obvious message. It is meant to stimulate the exchange of ideas and promote thought, so it is important to keep this mentality in mind prior to watching the film. The episodic format makes this goal easy to obtain, so again, be prepared to watch a movie that is crafted as a visual art piece and generates conversation, not a flick to sit and eat a bowl of popcorn to (however, I'm sure Father Dominic would love for you to eat popcorn with this film).

To watch free, online episodes or buy the DVD, visit www.insidedarkness.com.
For more information on the filmmaker, Father Dominic De Lay, visit www.mudpuddlefilms.com.
For more information on the Dominican Friars visit www.opwest.org.

Jumper

2008-10-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

1 GOOMBA

. . . and then he could jump through space and time - now we're in London, now we're in France, I can see Rachel Bilson's underpants.

Completely abrupt, haphazard, and crazy, Jumper is a story about David Rice (Hayden Christiansen) and his ability to jump through space - I'm not sure if he can jump through time though. They may not have covered that in the user manual. One day, after being throughly humiliated on the school yard in front of the girl he's crushing on, he falls through a frozen river and is about to drown. Suddenly, he finds himself sopping wet in the middle of the school library. He then realizes that he can go anywhere in the world, which includes a stop over in the middle of a bank vault. As the years pass and he's worked his way up to a luxury apartment, Roland (Samuel L. Jackson), a Jumper Hunter, finds him, and the whirlwind of jumping, running, and electrocuting begins. Somewhere in the mix, David manages to pick up his former childhood sweetheart (Bilson) and meet another Jumper.

Great CG and beautiful destination shots, Jumper is still just a hop, skip, and a jump away from being a zero GOOMBA, a rating I hadn't thought existed before this movie. Poorly acted, cheesy, and continuously dumb, I purposely gave you a thorough synopsis because I know you'll be curious, but don't do it! My synopsis is better! Samuel L. Jackson, a Jumper Hunter - I shouldn't have to say any more.

Aside from plot retardation (like Millie naively following along with no questions asked, or Jackson electrocuting Jumpers just because, or Hayden Christiansen pretending to be a bad ass), the interesting concept for a story was drowned, maimed, and cindered in the span of an agonizing 90 minutes. The movie started out well. I was engaging, and I was curious to see how it would all work out. Then, that great 20 minutes were followed by the introduction of the grown-up David (AKA Christiansen). Throw in the Snakes on a Plane actor, and you've got yourself a flop.

So Jumper is not good. Don't jump!

The Other Boleyn Girl

2008-10-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

One of my favorite teachers, Mr. Armstrong, taught AP European History. During the first week of class, I had been listening diligently to one of his lectures, and for one moment I focused on my notes when suddenly, he calls my name. He's waiting for my answer. The last thing he was talking about before I zoned out was Germany. The question was, "Where does he live?" So I answered, "Berlin . . ?" In actuality, the question was "Where does the pope live." And that, of course, was the wrong answer. So from then on, every once in a while, if Mr. Armstrong thought I was drifting off . . . he'd yell "Jennifer! Where's the pope!?!" And I'd answer, "The Vatican, Mr. Armstrong." But aside from learning where the pope lived, I learned about Anne Boleyn and her integral part to the Church of England.

The Other Boleyn Girl focuses on Henry VIII's affair with Mary Boleyn (Scarlett Johansson) and the struggle between two sisters over the same man. Mary is shy and beautiful while Anne (Natalie Portman) is witty and daring. In an attempt to raise their family standings, the Boleyn parents sought to make Anne King Henry's mistress. However, when her first attempt fails to get his attention, he notices the quiet, but stunning Mary instead. Mary becomes his mistress while Anne is sent off to France for some feminine refinement. Anne returns some years later, after the King has grown tired of Mary, and King Henry becomes infatuated with her. And when sisters fight over the same man, things get pretty ugly.

With two strong female leads, its a wonder that this period piece became such a revolting film. Now, I realize that this was just how it was in the olden days, setting your kids up to become royal sex toys for the betterment of the family, but I was absolutely disgusted. But that isn't so much the film's fault as it is history's fault. What was terrible was the indecisive portrayal of Henry VIII. I have no way of knowing how close the role is to the real person, but as a character, he had no depth or complexities. He was basically a sex fiend who got what he wanted or someone died if he didn't. Completely uninteresting. Same with the plot. Same with Anne and Mary. Although, I must recognize Natalie Portman's dazzling performance as the loving, yet dually selfish sister.

I must say that this article is particularly dull. I blame that on the subject. Don't watch this movie unless you want to catch a glimpse of the cute Jim Sturgess, the Boleyn Brother. Unfortunately, he gets beheaded and he doesn't sing a line. If I spoiled it for you - good. Anything to keep you from watching this film.

Eagle Eye

2008-09-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

When people fall in love with Shia LaBeouf, they just can’t get enough of him. Spielberg cast him in Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and he executively produced LaBeouf’s summer blockbuster, Transformers. Now Disturbia director, D.J. Caruso, and star, LaBeouf, team up again for DreamWorks’ new thriller Eagle Eye. Once you go Shia, you can’t go back, but unfortunately for the both of them, Eagle Eye kind of sucked.

LaBeouf stars as a typical, unmotivated young slacker along side the beautiful Michelle Monaghan, who plays an average, over-worked single mother. Both characters are framed as terrorists, and in an attempt to run from a Big Brother-like villian, they cross paths and form an unlikely alliance as they also run from the government and those who framed them. Rosario Dawson and Billy Bob Thornton join the cast as a government agent and FBI Detective trailing the pair.

Shia is Hollywood's current, favorite juvenile delinquent, and I could care less. On screen, he's got a certain dorky, underdog charm that makes my heart melt with sympathetic adoration, and though this is a mediocre action packed, suspense thriller at best, he still exudes distinction and quality acting. But his comedic timing and good acting can't save this flick from a lame story and a thoroughly retarded ending. For a very long while, the movie was cheesy, but absolutely fun - as actions movies should be. The multiple chase scenes were intense and absolutely ridiculous, the mammoth explosions were completely blown out of proportion (a plus sign in this genre), and those great one-liners kept the tone upbeat and amusing. And then, they revealed who the terrorists were. But, no worries. It still made it to the 3 GOOMBA level. And then, Big Brother vaporized a guy by chasing him with a broken power line. Still okay. And then, Bill Bob gave Shia his FBI badge and gun just before [highlight to see] exploding himself (which involved a car and an airplane in a Washington DC tunnel) for the greater good. And so Eagle Eye's fate was sealed. A shaming moment in Hollywood history.

Eagle Eyes was a bad cocktail of The Terminator, Enemy of the State, and Die Hard, all of which are far better movies than the one in question. However, I do recommend this movie for the excellent chase scenes or for a Saturday night movie at home with friends.

LaBeouf is currently filming Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Vantage Point

2008-09-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

I always wonder what it would be like to see through someone else's eyes. When I'm out driving, I sometimes look out my window at another driver and often ask myself, "What is he thinking about?" "Where is she going?" "Who are they?" The idea of seeing through a different perspective is fascinating, but trespassing on someone else's personal thoughts is only something that happens in books, and sometimes in movies.

Vantage Point takes this concept and films it in a Momento-inspired style. Looping through the same 23 minute period, the viewer is taken into the different perspectives of six characters who witness the same attempted presidential assassination. With each loop, more information on the plot unfolds, and the mystery behind the assault is revealed. The ensemble cast includes screen regulars, Forest Whitaker, Matthew Fox, Dennis Quaid, and Sigourney Weaver.

When the filmmakers pitched this idea to the executive producers, I'm sure it sounded innovative and amazingly creative. However, it yields complete frustration to the viewer. I found myself commenting on how "cool" and "cutting edge" it all seemed during the first 46 minutes - and then, it began to drag on, and on, and on, and on. It was exhausting living through the same 23 minutes six times, and then, only moving, what seemed like half a frame, toward the ending was brutally irritating. It's okay to leave a person in suspense, but not to the point where they'd rather turn the TV off than find out how it ends. This editing gimmick completely backfires.

Then, there are the characters. With the impossible stunt scenarios aside, Howard Lewis (Whitaker) and Tom Barnes' (Quaid) characters were thoroughly lame and unconvincing. An American tourist is not going to run after a terrorist in the middle of a Spanish city after he's just been blown up by a bomb - unless he happened to be Rambo. In that same respect, Barnes, a secret service agent, would not have acted as a vigilante, running through the streets all by his lonesome to find the terrorist regime who bombed the President of the United States. His chase scenes and professional demeanor were so far from reality that I can't even use the "movie magic" plea for him.

The positive things I have to say about this film (which are few) are: 1) it actually has a message, 2) it attempts creativity, and 3) it does produces some interest. However, even with these things said, I still suggest you watch this film from a different vantage point; with your back facing the TV.

Definitely, Maybe

2008-09-12T22:48:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: Maya Hayes (Abigail Breslin) is in the middle of her parent's divorce. Her attempts to adjust aren't working, so after bargaining with her father, Will (Ryan Reynolds) agrees to tell the story of his past relationships to help cheer her up. To make it interesting, he changes their names and keeps mum on which woman is her mother. Rachel Weiss, Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Banks, and Kevin Kline also star.

The GOOM: Told as a story/stories within a story, Definitely, Maybe is bubblegum cute and filled with hopeful, comedic romance. Breslin is as adorable as ever, and each relationship gives us a better glimpse into Will's character. Though this movie isn't rocket science, I enjoyed watching Will stumble through each relationship and seeing him grow into relationship maturity.

The BA: What's sad is, you really don't want any of those three women to be Maya's mother. However, I pretty much called how it would all play out. Definitely, Maybe is predictable. Its also kind of shallow, but shallow in how High Fidelity is shallow (which may or may not be a bad thing. High Fidelity is a good movie). I found this made Will quite annoying. The only real thing going for him was his cheeky yet sweet daughter and the growth he achieves in the end.

The Dark Knight

2008-09-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

4 GOOMBAS

Pow! Bam! Wham! The sequel to the most recent Batman redo, The Dark Knight revisits our Caped Crusader as he gears up to fight Gotham's current villain, The Joker. In the same winning, realistic style as Begins, Knight manages to hold the audiences attention and wow the crowd with bad-ass flair.

Christian Bale reprises his roll as Bruce Wayne, Maggie Gyllenhaal fills in for the, then preggers, Katie Holmes, as Rachel Dawes, and the late Heath Ledger is The Joker. Two of Aaron Eckhart's faces also makes an appearance.

Here's the bad news - Christian Bale has a stupid Batman voice. More seriously, though, the story flow is quite misleading, which made for an anxious audience, and an anxious Jenn. I was watching what I thought was the final action scene in the film, only to find that it was only about half way through the flick. Then I had to go through the psychological toils of a whole nother action scene.

Here's the good news though - those toils are totally worth it. What an extravagant and fully loaded ending. And not only is the last scene emotionally charged and perfectly narrated, but Heath Ledger's performance was magnificent and comparable to Anthony Hopkins' performance in The Silence of the Lambs. Ledger was completely unrecognizable, and he put the socio in front of path. His subtle mannerism and creepy, sticky-dry voice transformed him into something mind-blowing on screen.

I also have to mention the CG feat on Two-Face's face. The impact of the reveal made me gasp out loud. I was expecting some burns and disfiguration; not what those animators shocked me with. That's some gruesome creativity right there.

Overall, what a fun and perfect end to the summer movie line up. We need more movies like this to stir up the box office numbers. Kapow!

Side note: I want Bruce Wayne's Lamborghini. I'd be so hot.

The Bucket List

2008-08-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

1.5 GOOMBAS

Morgan Freeman began his acting career in the late 1970's, and he's had steady acting gigs ever since then; averaging 2 movies a year since 1980. His kind eyes, winning narrative voice, and grandfather-ish naivety easily find him work. And Morgan Freeman will eternally be an old man. After all, he didn't start his acting career until his mid 50's. So after being a chauffeur, a convicted felon, the President, God, and a detective (multiple times over), he basically plays himself, an old man, in his latest flick called The Bucket List, which also stars former psychiatric patient and psychopath, but equally old, man, Jack Nicholson.

Aside from being old, Carter Chambers and Edward Cole are sick. They both have cancer, and it doesn't look hopeful. So, while they're in the hospital, they develop a bucket list, a list of all the things they want to do before they die. With the help of Edward's wealth, and each other, both set out to do things they would have never done given other circumstances.

A potentially great movie on friendship, The Bucket List can kick the bucket for all I care. Though both actors are supposedly playing characters, its hard to see a difference between themselves and the real man. They play who you'd pretty much think they'd be in real life - Morgan Freeman, the reserved, but kind grandfather and Jack Nicholson, a dirty old man. And their friendship was just about as believable as the CG. I felt no long lasting bond between them, no closeness or camaraderie, and they might as well have had a moving backdrop.

Meant to be sentimental but instead, ending in mediocre cheese, The Bucket List should have had the word "RV" plastered over its title because The Bucket List is about that bad. Save your Netflix queue for something a little less sob story, but even if you were looking for something like that, the only tears you'd see would be from pity - pity for yourself for watching this flick.

The Golden Compass

2008-08-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I first noticed The Golden Compass at the 2007 Comic Con, and what first struck me was the exquisite use of color and the softness of each still. After a few months, I started hearing the controversy surrounding the religious (or should I say, "non-religious") themes apparent in the story. It turns out that the author of The Golden Compass novel, from which this film is based, was atheist. GASP! Oh the horror! His children's fantasy novel must be filled with immoralities, immodesties, and most importantly, anti-Christian tendencies. We have to boycott! ::rolls eyes:: After watching this film, these are definitely over-reactions to a analytically atheistic story, and this movie's influence is no worse than High School Musical with its promotion of popular teens possessing ridiculously, unattainable beauty.

Lyra is a young girl who lives in a dimension where there are three species; humans, polar bears, and witches. Humans each have a deamon which takes the the shape of an animal and is essentially a manifestation of the human's soul. There's also a thing called Dust - I still don't know what it is. I'm guessing it has something to do with corrupting mankind. Lyra is left behind by her uncle when he goes on a trip, and while he's gone, she finds herself in the middle of an adventure; traveling on a flying ship, befriending an exiled polar bear, and rescuing her best friend from deamon separation all with the aide of a alethiometer.

Visually dazzling, The Golden Compass is compelling and filled with youthful wonder and black and white morality, but its dark and sinister tones created complexities and intrigue. Dakota Blue Richards brings feistiness and courage to Lyra's character, and the world that Philip Pullman created is shared with a generation that may not have known it. However, though an adequate adaption to the novel, the film does not stand on its own. The ending is left open, (presumably for a sequel) with many, many question unanswered, but as of today, there have been no plans to complete the film trilogy. So what will happen to Lyra? What is Dust? This flick felt like the second movie in a series rather than the first, and because of this cinematic choice to tell the story in this way, it becomes a mediocre flick. There's really no excuse to leave so many plot holes.

Its always great to watch a children's fantasy film. It's imaginative, innocent, and usually filled with not-too-bloody action scenes. Yet in this particular instance, I was left unsatiated. Bring on the next installment, and I'll revisit.

Rendition

2008-08-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal star in this politically charged film, Rendition. Isabella Fields El-Ibrahimi is an American woman with a son and another on the way. As her Egyptian-born husband flies home from a business trip, he's kidnapped, taken to another country, and tortured by the American CIA for information on a middle-eastern terrorist group. This act is known as extraordinary rendition.

The GOOM: Insightful, Rendition is another example of filmmakers and actors voicing their political opinions through film. Witherspoon and Gyllenhaal turned in great performances, and the film tellingly portrays the upholding of American idealism and how it can be demolished.

The BA: It was sort of hard to follow. It reminded me And it's a movie about terrorists and America exerting its dominance by using unprincipled means. It's typical. It's boring. It's un-extraodinary rendition.

P.S. I Love You

2008-08-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

P.S. I Love You was advertised as “this year's best romantic comedy” - I can’t help but wonder if that movie critic was on crack. Did he see this movie? What part of having your dead husband leave you post-death, love notes is funny? To whoever wrote that review, you make me angry.

Previous experience has taught me that a fantastic cast does not necessarily equal a quality film. So here is P.S. I Love You, a perfect example, starring Academy Award winners Hilary Swank and Kathy Bates, and former, yet still hunky, Spartan, Gerard Butler. This film follows the life of Holly following the death of her Irish husband Gerry. Before passing, Gerry writes encouraging letters (which are delivered to her throughout the course of the film) to Holly in an attempt to help her cope and begin rebuilding a new life without him.

Simultaneously morbid and romantic, this flick brought on the tears. However, please picture me sobbing as I yell "this movie is so bad!!!" at the TV. Surprisingly, P.S. I Love You prodded the soft spot in my heart and concurrently, promoted irate feelings. Holly is an absolute pest of a character. I have absolutely no idea why Gerry would be in love with her. Second, why in the world did Gerry think that his notes were a good idea? His attempt to help her let go and grieve is completely backward. (Joe, this is not a good idea. You are not allowed to do this.) Some things just need to happen cold turkey. Lastly, the filmmakers' attempt to foster a new love interest is totally insensitive to the intense love story that they've already cultivated and committed to depicting. There's no way the audience will buy any other love story other than that of Holly and Gerry.

Something good I can say about the movie is its ability to evoke heartache. The filmmakers used the brilliant technique of intermingling Holly and Gerry's happy story with Holly's post-Gerry life. This yields the greatest impact to the viewer, as we are able to see/feel what Holly has lost instantly. And when Holly receives a new letter, we are again reminded that loss. P.S. I Love You is in no way a romantic comedy. It did a good job making you feel terribly somber and terribly depressed, and it did great at being just plain terrible.

Grace is Gone

2008-08-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

Every person has his or her own opinions on the War In Iraq. We'll never agree, but its always interesting to see how others express their beliefs in an artistic way. Film is such a perfect outlet for political statements, and as far right or left as some of these movies can be, the self expression seems unconfrontational. You just have to be aware and open-minded of the filmmaker's intentions in order to appreciate what it has to say.

Grace is Gone blends middle American simplicity with progressive scenarios. Stanley Phillips (John Cusack) is the 100%, middle America family man. Untraditionally, his wife, an American soldier, has been shipped off to Iraq while Phillips is left to care for their two daughters. When he receives a visit from an Army official notifying him of his wife's death, he goes into a state of denial. In an attempt to avoid the harsh and complicated reality, he whisks his daughters away on a road trip to an amusement park in Florida.

Yet I feel no pity for Stanley. I feel no sympathy. He wasn't believable. Cusack doesn't play a good married man. And stripped from his masculinity as the husband who got left behind, his already unconvincing performance made his character uninteresting.

Shot like an indie film, it had the characteristics of a poigniant and thoughtful movie. It had an important message to share, a different perspective to offer, and it resiliently focused on the idea of life after death - which is especially evident in the ending. But (and that's a big 'But'), it was wholly uninspiring. My love for John Cusack has been temporarily stalled by the release of this most recent film. Gone is the lovable, Lloyd Dobbler. Gone is the twisted audiophile, Rob Gordon. Gone is the serendipitously appealing Jonathan Trager. And apparently gone is Grace. As supremely insensitive as this is, I end this blog with a ::shrug::.

Wall-E

2008-07-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

5 GOOMBAS

I think we can all agree that most Disney films of the past decade are horrific and I have, on more than one occasion, shouted "blasphemy!" at the latest Disney movie trailer. What Lion King are we on now? Lion King 50, Simbas' Adventures in the Underworld? What was their latest remake? The Swiss Family Robinson In Space? Pollyanna: The Pop Star? ::sigh:: Though a complete sell out to consumerism, Disney has had some successful ventures. Their latest - probably the acquisition of Pixar Studios. And as usual, the always innovative Pixar, has stepped it up a notch in this newly animated film Wall-E.

Wall-E is the last remaining robot on Earth. After 700 years, his counterparts have gone kaput, and he's left alone to complete the job of cleaning up the gargantuan mess humans have left for him; all the while, the rest of mankind grows fat on a cruise ship in outer space. Wall-E is curious, smart, and naive, and as he picks through 700 years worth of junk, he weeds out the last treasured remnants of human civilization and reminisces on the beauties of being a person.

Reasons why Wall-E is good:
- The characters. Wall-E's reminds me simultaneously of a tired, lonely old man and a klutzy, eager 5-year-old. Absolutely adorable, earnest, and stouthearted, Wall-E is a character that you can't help but like. Not to mention the clean freak, M-O, and Eve, the sleek bot with an anger problem.

- The CG. The computer animation is phenomenal; as can be expected from this studio. Pixar's ability to show Wall-E's emotions through his eyes and without using any dialog is nothing short of amazing. Wall-E's ability to bring back the meaning of human interaction and to cross communicational barriers without the use of words is both meaningful and impressive.

-The story. The plot is one of the best I've seen. It is modestly about a girl probe, Eve, who is out of Wall-E's league (in every way) and Wall-E's quest for her heart. Yet aside from being cute, the film is completely hysterical. I just about died every time Eve busted out her "hand gun." It is sad, funny, and sweet; all in one movie!

-The message. The plot is simple yet complex and it spoke to me on so many different levels. There are themes that were readily apparent, but commentary on the human condition not blatant, but to the point.

-The details. The attention to detail blew my mind. My friend Jason (and maybe you) will pick up on the lack of sound during the space scenes. Why? There's no sound in outer space, silly! I also enjoyed the motif for the ending credits, which shows the progression of humanity rebuilding their home on Earth, but illustrated in the progressive styles in art; first starting with cave drawing and ending with van Gough.

Wall-E is a must see. It's visually spectacular, emotionally intriguing, and thoughtfully complex. I don't think I've seen many that are better.

Awake

2008-07-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

1.5 GOOMBAS

So you know those movies where you can figure out the twist after two seconds of the film? Well, this is one of them. But I do have experience with this. I figured out the Sixth Sense after the first five minutes. However, either way, this film is pretty dumb.

Starring Jessica Alba, Hayden Christiensen, Terrence Howard, and anesthesia awareness, Clay Beresford is a high powered capital investment executive in need of a heart transplant. Living a double life between his posh, rich lifestyle (including an overly controlling mother) and a humble dwelling with his sweet-natured girlfriend, Clay attempts to separate himself from the life his mother has laid out for him - starting with choosing his own heart surgeon and his own wife. Once he goes into surgery, however, he realizes that he's still awake. The rest of the movie takes us through his out-of-body experience and the revelations that follow.

Totally predictable and poorly acted, Awake is a sad example of a suspense thriller. There was nothing terribly dreadful in this movie - except, Christiensen. He is such a Nancy boy. I can't stand him. He's such a bad actor. What is equally as annoying as Christiensen is Clay's mother. She is originally portrayed as a flat character; controlling and over-bearing. She maintains her opinion on Clay's choice for a surgeon and for a wife in a completely aggravating and judgmental way. Yet by the end of the film, she's completely vindicated. So, is this film saying that controlling and over-bearing is the way to go when you're a mother? Apparently, yes.

They did do some cool things with lighting, but not enough to commend Awake for anything.

There isn't much to this film. It's meant to target that older teen audience, but I'm sure they'll still find this film equally as annoying as to the average viewer (unless they're a pre-pubescent boy who ogles over Jessica Alba). So in closing, don't believe in this anesthesia awareness baloney. Yes, it's a scary idea, but its not as scary as you enjoying this flick.

The Great Debaters

2008-07-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

So I've heard that the reason why Denzel Washington is good-looking is because his face is perfectly symmetrical, which makes it aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I can agree with that rational. I mean, he isn't overtly handsome (to me), but yet he's nice to look at - even when he plays a bad-ass gangster or a corrupt cop. However, something must be said about his performance in his most recent flick, The Great Debaters. His glaringly insensitive and distrustful portrayal of Melvin Tolson definitely made me see the ugly in Denzel.

Set in the 1930's and loosely based on a true story, the 'Great Debaters' are a group of young, educated individuals from the historically black Wiley College. Under the supervision and guidance of Melvin Tolson (Washington), four debaters are chosen for his elite team, James L. Farmer Jr., Henry Lowe, Samantha Brooke, and Hamilton Burgess. This film, produced by Harpo Productions, takes this team through one year of debate competitions with other black colleges in the South. After beating all notable schools in the area, Tolson begins to seek out white colleges to compete against, but in this heavily racist era, this is no easy feat. Throughout this film, their travels and experiences take them through a number of issues that affected the times (lynchings, racism, communism) and adolescence (first love, coming of age). This film also features Academy Award winning Actor Forest Whitaker.

I didn't like this movie. It was a jumble of political and social issues that were suppose to be facilitated by the plot, but actually became the side story to the plot. Or maybe they were suppose to be the side stories? I'm not quite sure . . . and this ambiguity does not bode well. There was just too much going on for it to be any good. It was a coming-of-age story, but then it wasn't. It was a educational film on racism, and then it was a period piece, and then it was a sports film. All these different aspects in a film, but yet all under-developed.

As for Washington's performance, the man is just good. However, his character contributed to the indecisiveness of the plot. He was a underground revolutionary, a Communist to be exact, and yet I couldn't quite tell if the film meant to portray this as a good thing or a bad thing. He had terrible character flaws. He liked to cheat in the debates. He wrote all of the arguments while the team did the research. He was insensitive and at times, cruel. He lies and creates uncomfortable tension, and yet he mentors these young minds and tells them to believe in themselves. He can be kind, but yet is terribly ruthless. He's such a huge contradiction that I can't see him as being a very good role model. So, though Washington gave depth and complexity to this multi-layered character, it deepened the obvious flaws in the already unfocused plot.

This could easily make the Hallmark Classics shelf, but not mine.

The Kite Runner

2008-07-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

What's kind of annoying to me is when a genuinely good book gets exploited by blockbuster hype. There it was, a little known, well written novel with its humble cover; tucked away at the bottom corner of the fiction section. Then, someone else in Hollywood realizes what a great book it is and rapes all the dignity from it. Suddenly its a New York Times best seller, its classy matte cover replaced is by a glossy photo of the movie poster. And now, when you re-read the book, the characters suddenly look like the actors who had portrayed them. It can be quite awful to a true book fan. The good thing is, it can get more people to read a book that might have been left forgotten, but it simultaneously makes it trendy, an undesierable characteristic to many.

So The Kite Runner is a novel turned film about Amir and his best childhood friend Hassan during a time when Kabul was still peaceful. The difference is, I didn't think the book was all that fantastic. Different in class and race, Amir and Hassan struggle with the societal convention that decided the unlikelihood of their friendship. Then, one day, something changes their life paths forever, and it takes almost a lifetime for Amir to make amends with his ghosts of the past.

Usually, when novels are altered for the silver screen, screenwriters adapt the story to visually make the story flow smoothly and to trim the plot of story fat. However, in this instance, they kept everything. Nothing was changed, and in my opinion, to the film's detriment. I didn't enjoy the novel, and I didn't really enjoy the film. In both mediums, I never felt that Amir's guilt was ever amended. Even as he risks his life to save Hassan's son, there was always some part of me that didn't believe that he did it for Hassan and Sohrab. I felt he kind of did it selfishly - so that he wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore, and I feel horrible for thinking that. I feel so judgmental.

In regard to the actual performance of the actors. The young Hassan and Amir (Ahmad Khan Mahmoodzada and Zekeria Ebrahimi respectively) were fantastic. Their friendship was alive and real. Khalid Abdalla brought humility and a quiet modesty to Amir that I didn't see in the novel. However, other than the performances and learning about a culture I know little about, I thought the plot was quite anticlimactic and plain.

Beautiful though a story is about a childhood filled with innocent kite flying and savoring pomegranates underneath a trees, the beauty lies only in the idea. Its not in this story.

27 Dresses

2008-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

In the middle of planning my own wedding, I have realistic expectations. I do not expect my wedding day to explode with flowers that I can't afford or be driven away in a limousine that's too froo-froo for my own good. I do not expect it to be reminiscent of a fairy tale. I do not expect everyone to enjoy it, and I do not expect it to be perfect. But there is one thing I can be pretty sure about. The likelihood of my bridesmaids wearing their dresses again - slim.

What I thought was hilarious about this movie was the running dress-joke. Each bride kept insisting that the bridesmaids could wear their dresses again and again; "all ya have to do is shorten it!" Oh the ideas we brides delude ourselves into believing.

But aside from poking fun at that anal retentive, spoiled monster that can sometimes overcome a normally even tempered, good natured lady, this movie was super cute. There wasn't very much chemistry between Katherine Heigl and James Marsden, but no matter, this movie was about Jane, the girl who took care of everyone except her self. It was never about their relationship. Ironically, it was only about Jane. Selfish, eh?

Heigl and Marsden star in this romantic comedy about a young woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times but can't manage to tell that man she loves how she feels. Same deal-io but her character is a little more entertaining than the usual. The fashion is great, and it had everything you could want from a chick flick.

This one is definitely an Jenn-owner. It's already given me a great idea on how I want to wear my hair when I walk down the aisle. Oh, and one expectation that I am most definitely sure about on my wedding day. I expect to be happy.

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

2008-06-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS
It was just about a year ago when I was perusing cnn.com and I stumbled across a link to a streaming video of latest "evidence" supporting the existing of the Loch Ness Monster. Now, I'm not exactly a scholar of good old Nessy, but that video sure as heck gave me a weird feeling. What lives below the water already creeps me out, and to have an unidentified, supposed giant animal in the lake's depths gives me the heebie jeebies. Strangely, it's also kind of cool. It opens up this huge array of imaginative ideas, and it's representative of how the unknown can draws us in.

So The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep. A family film set in Scotland during World War II. Young Angus finds a strange rock out on the shore, and once its found, it hatches into a water horse. As the fable goes, there can only be one water horse in the world at a time, and once its born, it begins to depend on Angus for food and friendship. Eventually, the monster gets too large for the bath tub, and Angus is forced to move it to the lake for more room and food.

There's quite a serious side-plot with the war and Angus's father, and I can't help but sense a kind of abandonment from reality. You know Narnia? Kind of like that. The children are in this horrendous situation, and they venture to a different world where they're not orphans, they're the royal family. Or remember that one Buffy episode where she wakes up and she's actually in a mental institution suffering from schizophrenia and her alternate reality is at Sunnydale/the Hell Mouth? I kind of got that same sense from this film and I thought it was worth mentioning.

The CG was pretty great. Crusoe, the water horse pet, was pretty darn cute as a cub, and it acted as real as a monster could act in my opinion. But I say boo to the story and boo to the Free Willy reenactment. This movie fails as family film. It was sad and kind of shallow as far as character and plot development go. I can't recommend it, and it certainly won't come back as a classic.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-06-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

At 2am, on a drive from San Diego to Laughlin, I was convinced that I had seen a flying saucer. Yes, I may have been delirious with sleep deprivation. Yes, I may have had too much sugar. And yes, I am me, but I swear to you, I had seen a UFO. Aliens do tend to inhabit the science fiction genre of film, with an emphasis on fiction, but aliens seem like a very real concept to me. How arrogant are we, the human race, to believe that we are the only living beings in this vast an infinite universe? Yet mixing this concept with an old school adventure flick seems just wrong; even under the supervision of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

Resurrecting the classic adventures of Indiana Jones, new kid on the block, Shia Labeouf, joins blockbuster veteran, Harrison Ford in the fourth installment of the series, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Still out for an ass kicking, Indie finds himself kidnapped by Russian Nazi leader, Colonel Dr Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) so he can locate a a highly magnetic crystal skull in an endless warehouse of top secret plunder. He escapes, following a very strange incident involving a refridgerator and a nuclear bomb, and winds up helping a kid find his mother and return the crystal skull.

Now, I applaud Spielberg and Lucas for maintaining the original tone of the series (cheesy, yet adventurous, in the ancient-jungle-oriented, 50's period film kind of way) despite the modern-minded, cell phone ridden audience. It actually worked quite nicely. Even the camera work evoked that nostalgic sense of old-time story-telling. However, the gimic, aliens, was absolutely preposterous. It ruined the ancient, treasure hunting feeling and replaced it with weird, futuristic folklore. These two ideas did not mesh well, and in my opinion, was the downfall of the entire film. Indiana is about ancient, forgotten treasure and a romance forged by faith in its existence, not science and neo-centric notions.

Not to mention how poorly the story was told. I didn't understand how the brain-washed anthropologist fit into the whole plot line, nor do I understand why the marketing team tried to keep the whole "Shia LaBeouf plays Indie's son" a secret. It was kind of obvious.

Again, I loved the way the film was shot, how they maintained the original thematic motifs, and the shot-in-the-80's-but-is-reminiscent-of-the-50's style, but it was just so out of this world. Literally. Shia Labeouf swinging through trees, and men getting eaten alive by giant ants was just too much. Even the king with his ripping-out-hearts fetish seemed believable compared to the stuff they pulled in the Crystal Skull. Plus, was it only me or did Harrison Ford look exponentially old?

This movie is graced with my 3 GOOMBA rating only because it holds the clout of the original series. I don't know what is up with Spielberg and his love for E.T., which basically only leads me to one conclusion. Steven Spielberg is an alien. George Lucas must be his mate. Random, you think? Try comparing it to this movie.

Sex And The City: The Movie

2008-06-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

Before Sex And The City, shoes were just things you stuck on your feet to keep them from getting dirty. Before Sex And The City, designers were just people who stuck a hefty price tag on their clothing. Before Sex And The City, sex was taboo. But this show, where some closed-minded folk could synonymize it to pornography, was witty, deep, and it revolutionized television.

The four thirty-something women (who are now forty-something) are back, but this time on the silver screen. All four are still wonderfully fabulous and satisfyingly stable in their relationships. Miranda and Steve are married in Brooklyn, Samantha is living it up with Smith in LA, Charlotte and Harry happily dote over their adopted daughter, and Carrie and Big shop for the perfect Manhattan apartment. However, they're still themselves: Samantha, sex crazed as usual; Miranda, cynical even more so than normal; Carrie, adorably mature and sincere; and Charlotte (my favorite) optimistic, naive, and still the lady. Yet, of course, in any happily ever after, there has to be some unhappily in between.

I absolutely loved the show, so of course, I absolutely loved the movie. Oh, and the clothes! The clothes! Lawsie mercy! The glorious clothes! What I wouldn't give to be the Wardrobe Director's assistant. But aside from the clothes, this movie showed the characters's maturity and growth, and it was well told, well written, and well received. These woman are refreshingly imperfect, and they love and lose just like real women, only with a incredibly lavish and ambitious lifestyles. Their friendship is so concrete and visible in their love for one another that it makes me appreciate the girlfriends I have.

I love these woman, their crazy hysterics with men and sex, and their genuine longing for their ever after. However, if you haven't seen any of the show, you wouldn't know what the heck was going on. The key driver for this film is the history of these woman, how far they've come and who they are now. Without knowing any of that, this film is meaningless and seemingly superfiscial. If I had my way, Sex would be 4.5 GOOMBAS, but Sex and the City: The Movie just doesn't stand on its own. Even still, that doesn't stop me from being a fan of these Manolo Blahnik wearing, Prada purse carrying, Dolche dressed, New York women.

La Vie En Rose

2008-05-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

My first experience with French film was Ma Vie En Rose, a movie I had to watch for a gender in culture class, and I must say that I was quite surprised by it's flair. And every French film thus far had been the same, so what a drastic change it was to watch La Vie En Rose, a drab and simple film on the life of Edit Paif.

A biography of the famous 1940s French singer, La Vie En Rose (The Life in Pink) stars Marion Cotillard who won an Academy Award for her performance. At an early age, Edith Paif was left in a brothel to be raised by prostitutes and learns of her talent for song; already strange. As she matures, she begins signing on the streets of France and is soon discovered. After she makes her debut in a modest, but packed bar, the crowd's enthusiasm for her singing ensures her lengthy career in show business. As her success sky-rockets her to the top, her personal life and health become victim to her scrappy and lush lifestyle.

Unrefined and rough, Edith Paif fit my imagined impression of Lucille Ball in real life. She was bossy, fierce, stubborn, and crazy about man who had eyes for more than one. Now, to portray a character with so much personality is a feat unto itself. But have you seen Marion Cotillard as he real self? She seems sweet and delicate, yet even her body language was drastic transformation from her slink down the red carpet. This was truly a remarkable performance.

However, other than this artistic achievement and the believable make up and costume, this movie was pretty boring. Yes, Edith Paif was quite a woman, but Man, could I not wait for this movie to end. It was dark and uncharacteristically French, with its non-hallucinogenic style, and you couldn't wait to get to the subtle climax that is distinctive in biographical films (kind of like a climax in a documentary).

I love to sound cool when I say I've watched a foreign film that no one's really heard about. Sadly, I don't know if I'd actually recommend this film, and sadly I'm not cool either. But I would watch it if you're hip, stylish, live in the Village and just want to brag on your artistic sophistication.

August Rush

2008-05-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

One time, back in the days of "the WB," I was watching Felicity in the living room, and my mom passed by. I said "Isn't Keri Russell so pretty?" She replied, "Eck, she's too pretty." And from then on, every time I see her, I think she really is too pretty.

So I finally got around to watching August Rush. Of course, Keri Russell was too pretty, Irish import, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, was also pretty, and Robin Williams was pretty janky looking. Lyla and Louis have a highly romanticized one night stand, which inevitably turns into an Evan Taylor. Unfortunately, both Lyla and Louis never found each other after that night, and Evan Taylor was given up for adoption. Extraordinarily, Evan Taylor inherited his parent's musical talent, and as he convinces himself that he can find his parents with his music, he wanders the streets of New York searching for them through song.

So many things wrong with this movie - first, Robin Williams was obviously suppose to be the bad guy. He kind of reminded me of the Diablo. He reels unsuspecting, vulnerable prey in, takes advantage of them in a serpent-esque, a la Adam and Eve, kind of way. And though Williams makes for a very disturbing villain, his portrayal of the creepy homeless, black-market, businessman was just too much for this family centered romance. Then there was the notion that Evan's music could bring his family back together. Now, I realize that this film is meant to portray a larger than life situation where hope, love, and faith are not just present in the music, it is the music. It was just too dang corny for me, Man. And Diablo, over there, played great music too. He even smiled knowingly as he listened to Evan play his final piece in the end. What is that suppose to symbolize? Is Diablo like Frank from Donnie Darko; seemingly the Devil but really God? Who knows, and quite frankly, I don't care.

This movie was too; too warm and fuzzy, too syrupy sweet, too pretty, and two goombas.

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

2008-05-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I wonder if Tim Burton ever gets tired his look; his film look. I mean, it is slightly different each time, depending on its mood. Sometimes it's sad and darkly over exaggerated, sometimes it's happy and darkly over exaggerated, and other times it's madly gruesome and over exaggerated. But the costumes and scenery are always loud and attractively strange. It's almost like M. Night Shyamalan and his necessity to add twists to the ending. I wonder if it ever gets old to him. It surely doesn't get old for me as an audience member, but I guess an artist can only have one style.

Tim Burton's teams up with his #1 fan, Johnny Depp, in his latest, madly gruesome, musically tart flick, Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. In a past life, Benjamin Barker was happily married to a beautiful woman and had a beautiful daughter. Unfortunately for Barker, his wife's beauty attracted Judge Turpin, who then vindictively puts Barker in prison so he could swoop in and take Barker's wife for his own. Upon Barker's return (now calling himself Sweeny Todd) we find, through the magic of music, that he's given up on that life and vows to open up a barber shop on Fleet Street. Eventually, with the aid of his landlady Mrs. Lovett, he begins to kill all his customers via a single blade razor, while Mrs. Lovett turns their remains into meat pies.

I don't know why I laughed. Maybe because it was just so insanely gross and graphic that I must have needed to alleviate my involuntary cringing and repellence. Like always, Burton's attention to detail is stunning, and Depp's ability to look demoniacally crazed while still maintaining the ability to carry a tune is remarkable. And on the killing - the neck is such a delicate area that the chosen method for murder makes it seem more brutal, yet the actual murders were still kind of graceful. Until, of course, he pulled the lever that dropped the bodies down to the basement on their heads; then it was funny.

Sweeny Todd's character is tragic and romantic, yet wretched and pathetically evil. So sad for him. The ending's a dilly. Sweeny Tood will take you into his world and make you see internal struggle splattered across the screen. I wouldn't skip it if you're not into musicals. You can't really tell it is one. I would skip it if you're squimish or if you dislike meat.

Ironman

2008-05-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

As the season's first slated blockbuster, it's no wonder the hype for the summer movie line up has been minimal. Cheesy advertisements and a seemingly misfit role for Downey Jr. didn't sure give Iron Man a leg up, that's for sure. It's hard to believe summer has arrived without such a large bang at the box office, and I'm surprised to see how differently the critics feel about the latest super hero flick when many would rather stay at home to their beloved TV set.

Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), a multi-billionaire and a bona fide genius, owns and runs the leading military weapons industry in the United States. However, after an unfortunate hostage situation in Afghanistan where he played the part of the hostage, he realizes that his weapons are being used against the the great US of A and vows to shut down production and focus the company's energy toward something more hero-ish. Afghanistan (if you hadn't already guessed) and someone close to home are the bad guys. Gwyneth Paltrow also stars as his beautiful, yet timid assistant.

Blatantly patriotic but generally entertaining, this movie wasn't nearly as cheesy it could have been. It was sleek and realistic, just like the Iron Man suit, and it struck the right balance between superhero archetypal themes and realism. It doesn't look comic-bookish, like its Spider-Man counterpart, but it isn't as stark as Batman Begins. Overall, I thought Robert Downey Jr. did an excellent job transitioning his character from a selfish and indifferent billionaire to a selfless superhero. I did have some issues with logical aspects of the film. How, for example, does Stark survive thousand foot drops in his suit? Brilliant and intelligent, he doesn't have super human padding. Also, I'm also sensitive to the fact that he shut down his weapons company only to make himself a weapon. Granted, he trusts himself to do greater good, my impression was that he would eventually create suits for others. How is that different from creating missiles?

This film has all the typical things you'd expect in a film of this caliber; crazy good CG, excellent explosions, interesting technology, and a decent character arch. I'd take the time to see it . . . until the Dark Knight hits the silver screen. I have a feeling that Iron Man will fall like an iron anvil short in that comparison.

On the side: Stay until after the credits. There's an extra scene that you might find interesting.
On the side: I hate how adding scenes after the credits have started becoming trendy. Its like the filmmakers are trying to pre-define a film as a cult flick.

American Gangster

2008-05-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) is part of a group who provides support and protection - through coercsion - to a community dominated by poverty, drugs, prostitution, corrupt cops, and troubled youth. He's an American gangster. Eventually he becomes the leader and raises his gang through the corrupted hierarchy by buying cocaine from the source, smuggling it into the country via the U.S, military, and selling "Blue Magic" at a competitive price. It's up to Detective Richie Roberts (Russell Crowe) to catch "the man above the mafia."

The GOOM: I thought this film was very interesting. It did a good job portraying mafia-type politics, and if I were a Political Science professor I would have shown this in my class for fun day. It was easy to follow, provocative, and exciting. An overall quality film.

The BA: No matter what Denzel does, I can't see him as a bad guy. I always see his foe characters as people who make poor choices but can always be redeemed; never just evil for the heck of it. So when Frank Lucas shoots a man straight in the head with no remorse in his eyes, I say "Well, that sucks. It's okay, I'm sure he didn't really mean it."

I also had issues with his wife's character. I don't think the movie illustrated whether she is just a gold digger or if she just doesn't care that her husband is a murder.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

2008-04-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

1 GOOMBA

Terrible, nauseating, and not even redeemably corny, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, features an acclaimed cast who failed to deliver. Molly Mahoney works at Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, a magical toy store in the middle of a bustling city, but her dream is to be a famous pianist and composer. When eccentric Mr. Magorium's lifetime shoe supply has reached its last pair, he decides that its time to go. He is 243-years-old after all. Yet when the store gets wind of the news, it decides to throw a temper tantrum, forcing Mahoney, Eric - the Hat Collector, and Henry - the Mutant to find the magic without Magorium. Natalie Portman, Dustin Hoffman, and Jason Bateman star.

As a family film, I don't understand the message it was trying to send to the younger generation. Could it be, give up all adult responsibility in favor of being a kid? Or to give up your dreams to work at a magical store? Mahoney wanted something else for her life, and instead, she gives that up to be the owner of a toy store with feelings. I still don't understand how that was the better choice.

Don't watch this un-wonderful flick. It will rot your kid's brains out and take away any hope of a bright future they they thought they had.

Dan In Real Life

2008-04-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I am so happy that The Office is back with new episodes. After the Gilmore Girls season finale, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was okay for a while. It just seemed like a long summer. Then Heros and The Office came out of hiatus; but my wonderful gleam of excitement was promptly squashed by the unfortunate, but necessary, wirter's strike. I had absolutely nothing to look forward to; nothing at all. No, not even serious, exciting life changes could pull me out of my constant channel flipping stupor. Though, I've had more time to watch movies - but watching Steve Carrell in Dan In Real Life isn't the same as watching pitifully selfish Michael Scott harass his staff.

The trailer for Dan In Real Life was obviously a sales pitch for Steve Carell, the person, not Steve Carell, Dan. Because of his fame from the popular television series and from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, advertisers seem to think that Steve Carell is their best selling point. Rather than sell it as a romantic comedy, which it is, by the way, they pitch it with Carell as a lonely widower who faces the comedic complications of raising three teenage daughters. Quite differently, the meat of the film is about Dan's attempt to control his love for a woman who happens to be his brother's girlfriend.

Patient, protective, pitiful Dan brings his daughters for a long weekend at the shore for an annual family reunion. On his first day, he stops by the bookstore and for the first time in a long time he makes a connection with a woman. However, when he returns to the house to recount his meet cute with the rest of his family, he's shocked to see the woman already there - as his brother's girlfriend.

The quality of this movie was quite surprising. Under the guise of a Tim Allen-like comedy, this movie seemed like it would make a nose dive to the bottom of the bin at the Dollar Tree. Yet it was particularly enjoyable to watch, and I found that the romantic comedy genre suits Carrell. I was taken by his simplicity and earnestness, and I was also completely jealous of his game playing, morning group aerobic exercising, boys vs. girls speed crossword puzzling family. They are totally awesome.

I expect this flick to make it to the small screen sometime in the next year. I also expect TBS to buy the rights to this film fairly quickly. It'll be around soon, so I suggest denying Blockbuster your $5. I think you can stick it out. It's not fantastic, but it'll do. I mean, its real life, so it can't always be good. Sometimes its just okay.

Bee Movie

2008-04-16T20:18:00.001-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

My office building is basically in the middle of a canyon. Every week there's a new department memo reminding us to be "aware of the rattlesnakes that like to hide in the shade," "wary of the coyotes who wander the parking lot early in the morning," or "mindful of the ducklings who could get run over by our cars." What's bizarre is I don't work in the middle of nowhere. This particular building was built by the freeway in a prominent business district, but it just happened to be nestled into a canyon. And with the summer quickly approaching, the latest nature warning memo was about a bee hive in a tree next to the building entrance. Bees freak me out.

Now, this particular bee hive doesn't have anything to do with Bee Movie, which is fine by me. However, I did like to see how creative Dreamworks could be with bees for its subject.

Barry B. Benson, a honey bee, has just finished school (all 3 days of it) and is off to the workforce to pick his life long job. Unsatisfied with the choices he is offered, Barry decides that he wants to be adventurous - even though he wasn't built to leave the hive. After venturing out on his own, he meets a human, Vanessa Bloome, and basically falls in love with her. But durng his time outside the hive, he finds that humans are stealing bees' honey. With the help of Vanessa, a florist, he progresses to sue the human race and wins, but when all the honey is returned to bees, the bees, without reason to work (now with more honey than they can imagine) grow lazy.

Completely outrageous, Bee Movie is over the top and sometimes very strange. I thought Barry's crush on Vanessa was out of line. It actually made me feel very uncomfortable. Not to be prejudice or anything, but he's a bee and she's a person. That's weird. It was even more bizarre when Barry was competing with Ken (Vanessa's ex-boyfriend) for her attention. That was just wrong. Plus Jerry Seinfeld's voice on a bee doesn't fit. I couldn't get past that middle-aged, matter-of-fact, tone. It didn't belong to Barry, a young, college graduate bee; it belonged to Seinfeld. The moral was pretty basic and uninspiring, which is a huge ding for a family flick. It had some good gags and some creative imagination. Dreamworks did a pretty good job imagining up a world of bees with humanistic qualities, but suing the human race? Come on. Will kids really buy that? Mutant Turtles or Transformers are so much more feasible. Maybe my 80's childhood puts me at a disadvantage, but I don't care. Bee Movie wasn't good.

I don't like bees. They sting and buzz and fly around so you can't tell where they'll land. Yes, they make honey, but rightly, I don't like honey either. I had a traumatic childhood experience involving chicken nuggets and dripping honey hands. So I guess the universe is aligned. I don't like bees. I don't like Bee Movie either.

No Country For Old Men

2008-04-12T23:01:00.001-07:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

I have trouble watching scary movies by myself. Hence, I tend not to blog about them because I've seen so few. I'll eventually try and rectify this deficiency because I made a new friend at work who happens to like horror/slasher films. She's 60 years old and still loves to be scared. I guess we can be scared together then. So No Country For Old Men had to be watched with company. I've been warned that this film can be very disturbing.

Winner of the 2007 Academy Award for Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Director, No Country For Old Men is a suspense thriller about a greedy opportunist who finds himself in a sticky situation. While hunting out in the valley, Llewelyn Moss, comes across the remnants of a gun battle, and as he takes in the situation, he discovers a case full of money. Deciding to keep the money, he becomes the mouse in an elaborate chase for the fortune; the cat being a deranged serial killer with a crazy haircut.

Well thought out and intelligently crafted, No Country For Old Men is like Moby Dick; genius, yet entirely un-entertaining. I'm not saying that it was dull. The suspense and disturbing tension that predominates the film is 5 star, but as the ending approaches, the film increasingly becomes Coen-esque (i.e. weird). Conventional, key scenes slowly become omitted from the track, and I for one, almost lost the ball on the plot. "What, did she die? Huh? Did he die? What just happened? Where is he going?" were all questioned that I asked out loud. There was also a seemingly abrupt ending, accompanied with a seeming lack in resolution. However, for the Coen Brothers, it's always about motif, commanding themes, and prominent symbolism; usually never about the actual plot.

Each character in No Country For Old Men is a Coen-commentary on the people in our society and what our choices mean. The serial-killer, hit man - the epitome of evil (he's got the haircut to prove it; not to mention his weapon of choice establishes his complete detachment from normalcy); the cowboy, Llewelyn Moss - a man who makes bad choices (and is basically a bad person) but has a conscience; and Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), a worn police detective who is a model citizen but has given up all hope on humanity. Each of the main characters is symbolic, and the ending is esoterically complex and original.

With all that said, I enjoyed the movie as much as I enjoy Mondays; not much. It was creepy and disturbing in all the right places, mostly due to a crazed Javier Bardem, but this film is for a very fine palette; one that I do not have. It's for the film artist, the complex thinker, and the Indie die hards. Not really for the movieGOOMBA's taste.

21

2008-04-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

As I watched this movie, I reflected back on the first time I’d seen someone I knew play Black Jack with real money. Vegas: August 2004. In some smoke smelling, alcohol ridden casino, Joe, my fiancé, puts $40 cash on the table. The dealer explains the general rules. He's given the equivalent in chips. Then, two seconds and 4 hands later, it was gone. My friends and I groaned, we patted him on the back, and off we went play something not as disappointing. Now, $40 seems like Shrewt Bucks (1/100 of a penny) compared to what the kids in the Kevin Spacey film 21 coughed up.

Jim Sturgesse stars as the hot yet nerdy Ben Campbell in this teen audience targeted flick, 21. It first seemed to appeal to a wider audience, but I think that was a product of the marketing. No, this film is youthful and kind of MTV, trendy-edgy, especially in regard to its shot techniques. Though it dominated the box office in the recent weeks, it’s mainly because it’s the “coolest” movie out there. . . and your other choices are either that, Leatherheads or Horton Hears a Who.

So, what is this movie all about? It’s about making money, the shady, smart way. Ben Campbell is intelligent and hardworking as they come. A senior at MIT, Ben happens to impress one of his professors (Spacey) and is soon invited to the professor's secret Black Jack team. They count cards, hustle money from casinos, and make obscene amounts of cash. As Ben gets wrapped up in the world that is Las Vegas, his character takes a hit while his ego becomes gargantuan.

I thought the special effects in this movie were neat, and it glamorized the seemingly infinite possibilities that money can offer; the special effects were seamless, as effects should be, and it was kind of fun watching people my age swim in luxury (probably the same guilty reason why I read celebrity gossip magazines). However, the plot was soooo utterly predictable. As fun as it was to watch, I can’t honestly say that this is a good movie. Spacey’s performance was seedy and dirty (as in old man), but otherwise, it definitely wasn’t one of his best. I did like staring at Jim Sturgesse, and was thoroughly impressed by his ability to hide his British accent and camouflage it with a Boston one. But the impression he left on screen is as much as Kate Bosworth eats these days - not a lot. He should stick to singing.

Overall, I’d watch this movie again with a group of friends who don’t want to think too much about a movie. This film was made entirely for entertainment purposes. Any more expectation and you’ll bust.

Into the Wild

2008-04-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I'm an indoor kind of girl. I grew up in a suburb of LA where the idea of nature was going to the neighborhood park and feeding the ducks in the man-made lake. The great outdoors? That was venturing out to my backyard, where the bugs lived. I've only been camping once, and it had bathrooms and actual showers. Remember Troop Beverly Hills? I would have fit right in, so the notion of burning my money and seeking a vagabond, hippie, sleeping outdoors kind of lifestyle just isn't quite appealing to me. But apparently to Christopher McCandless, this is nothing short of ideal.

A film adaption of the novel Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, which is based on the real life adventures of Christopher McCandless (AKA Alexander Supertramp), Into the Wild is a story about a lifestyle so simple and carefree, something seems wrong with it. Following his college graduation, McCandless donates 90% of his lifesavings and leaves town to become a wandering road tramp and to eventually make it to Alaska. From his travels, he meets a series of charaacters who shape his perspective and affirm his deliberate choice in the vagrant life.

Hopefully, before you continue reading this, you already happen to know the ending. It's not really a surprise. The film even takes the audience's premium knowledge on the ending into account, but I'll try my best to not be too obvious.

Alex Supertramp (Chris's alias) is the anti-consumer. He takes what needs, eats off the land, and lives for life experience. He's an economist's worse nightmare. He's free from red tape, societal responsibility, and instead of career worries, financial burdens, or relationship issues, his problems are about survival. Alex Supertramp wants a meaningful life, and the film depicts him as a charismatic and inspiring person. Yet I felt like he got punished for his drastic and radical choices. I'm not sure if this was the filmmaker's intent, but that was my interpretation.

Emile Hirsch was amazing as usual and Sean Penn did a superb job directing. Yet as much as I rooted for Alex and the message he lived, I couldn't help but say, "What the hell was he thinking?!?" Man has evolved to live as a society for a reason, and though some may have lost sight of the simple pleasures in life, a person has the ability to make choices. Making the decision to maintain a balance of both material and immaterial seems like the best option, given the movie. It's never a good thing to be a diva or a caveman.

Death At A Funeral

2008-04-01T18:43:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

The first dark comedy I ever saw was in college, my freshman year. It was the Royal Tenenbaums, and as much as I'll be persecuted for saying this, I hated it. Next was Pumpkin, my sophomore year in college. I hated that too. Then a Gross Point Blank and Heathers later, I was sure I hated the genre. Wait! Before you throw that rock, I luckily watched Shuan of the Dead and realized that somewhere deep down, I could like dark comedy. It just had to be British.

Death At A Funeral comprises an ensemble cast which includes Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen) and a slew of other recognizable British actors. Daniel's father has just passed away, and when the funeral home brings his father's casket to house, it turns out to be the wrong body. This opening scene sets the tone for the entire film. As the story progresses, Daniel's father's private sex life is revealed, acid is inadvertently taken by the fiancé of the deceased's niece, and and the death of an unexpected visitor occurs.

When I popped this baby into the DVD player, I had no idea what I should expect. I hadn't even read the synopsis, so as the plot unfolded, it just got more and more absurdly funny. Each scenario feature in Death At A Funeral was darkly inappropriate and it put a hilarious spin on a traditionally sad familial experience. I think that it was even funnier because it was British. Don't as me why. I say what I think; I know not what I do.

I don't think I can say anymore about this film without explaining the different situations the characters found themselves in; which would be taking an edge off of the funny. The only other thing I have to say on the subject is, after Little Miss Sunshine, I realized that I can definitely like dark comedy. It doesn't have to be British.

Gone Baby Gone

2008-03-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

4 GOOMBAS

Ever since Ben Affleck's bout with Jennifer (the first one), he's never been the same. Poor Ben. He just keeps getting crap for that unfortunate relationship mishap and the terrible film roles that followed. He will just never live it down. He's been compared to his brother from another mother, Matt Damon, who rose to star status together in their screenplay, Good Will Hunting, and sadly their success is incomparable. I thought he just needed Matt to help him pick out better roles. But with Affleck's directorial debut under his belot, I can't help but think that he's destined to call the shots, not be in them.

Starring Ben's baby brother, Casey Affleck, Gone Baby Gone features private detectives Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro (Michelle Monaghan) hired to search for a missing local girl who's been kidnapped. Somewhat inexperienced but with some neighborhood street smarts, the couple try to unravel the case with grudging support from the local police.

First thing's first. Casey Affleck is hot in this movie. I think it's the tough guy attitude that got me interested. Michelle Monaghan's performance, however, was very weak. Her character was supposed to have been brought up in the hood, but she was wimpy and uncommitted to the role. One minute, she looked like she was about to bust a cap in someone's ass, and the next, she just stands there with an unconvincing, defiant look in her eye. She was completely wrong for the part, and although she brought some sensitivity to the character, it made Angie feeble and limited.

Ultimately, though, Gone Baby Gone's major thematic focus is on morality and the gray shadow that is often cast between the line of right and wrong. This is pretty good cinema, and even though it reached a pseudo climax, it was thought provoking and highlighted the harsh reality of life. Depicted in the situations and the character's choices, another movie never made life seem so unfair. Good movie; and not a sleeper.

Side note: Morgan Freeman plays the police captain, and I burst into hysterical laughter when he popped on screen in a uniform. It was such a surprise that for a split second I thought it was a spoof.

In the Valley of Elah

2008-03-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

One day I noticed a new 'DVDPlay' kiosk at my local grocery store. I was briefly appalled. Apparently it dispenses DVD's without the embarrassment of having a teenager judge your movie watching habits, but have we sunk so low as a society to depend on a vending machine to provide our entertainment; my art? Curious, I investigated the machine with its touch pad screen and obnoxious "only 99 cents per day!" red signs. "What!?! It wants my credit card information?" Turned off I left the kiosk. What if it gave me the wrong movie? What if it wouldn't stop charging my credit card? What if someone hacked the machine and my identity got stolen. No, those machines were just too McDonaldized for me . . . but as I thought about it, the idea seemed more and more appealing; for those times where you went to the grocery store after work on a Friday night and wanted something fun to watch; for those times when the nearest Blockbuster or Hollywood Video was just too far away. So, I said "Japan probably does it, why not I?" So out popped In the Valley of Elah from its slot and here we are.

Starring Oscar-winning actress, Charleze Theron, and Tommy Lee Jones, who was nominated for his performance in this film, In The Valley of Elah is a commentary on the toll the Iraq war has taken on family, society, and our soldiers. Hank Deerfield is a retired military sergeant, and when his son, a Iraq War veteran officer, goes AWOL, he travels to his son's base to help investigate Mike's disappearance. Local police detective Emily Sanders (Theron) has been assigned this case, and together with Deerfield, they begin to uncover the seedy underbelly of current military life and put together the pieces of a broken case and a broken family.

Symbolic yet uninteresting, this film had a lot to say, but threw information at you so slowly, that it was easy to lose track of the ball. The message in the film was obvious; Iraq war bad. The soldiers' actions both on and off U.S. soil is telling. The men weren't necessarily bad, but something about the war just brought something out in them. It was so suggestive and provocative, in just the right way, but it was also kind of boring. I don't know what it is about the Oscar nominated films this year. Such yawners. I appreciated the message the movie had to offer, but In the Valley of Elah had bland characters and a dragging pace.

Some obvious symbolism and themes to look out for: the American flag on the pole, the woman with the drowned dog, the David and Goliath story, manhood, fatherhood, brotherhood. So in a nutshell, this film had a lot of ammunition but not enough kick. That's basically all I have to say on the film. The DVDPlay kiosk, though, is actually pretty neat.

Last week marked the five year anniversary of the Iraq War. 4,000 troops have been killed. How much longer?

The Namesake

2008-03-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I think its common assumption that the person defines the name, but sometimes I wonder if the name defines the person. If I had been named Roxy, would I be more hip and cool? If I were named Prudence, would I be stern and mature? I mean, how a person's name fits just so perfectly sometimes is eerily bizarre, especially since most of us had nothing to do with what name was given to us. I’ll continue my argument with personal evidence. My whole life, I’ve been Jennifer del Rosario; “Jenn” for short. Two years ago, I was helping my mom clean out her garage and I found a copy of my original birth certificate. As I glanced at the name, to my horror, I noticed the following: (1) Jennifer was spelled “Jeniffer” and (2) my first name was “Jeniffer Jean.” I am so not a Jennifer Jean, let alone a “Jeniffer” Jean. What were my parent’s thinking? And can you imagine what I would have been like if I grew up as a Jennifer Jean and not a Jenn? I’m convinced that I’d be a completely different person. I guess we’ll never know.

Well, The Namesake sort of explores this same concept. The Namesake is a multi-generational film that begins with the marriage of Ashok and Ashima, a traditional Indian couple; they move to the States, where Ashima has trouble adjusting, but before long, they begin to have a family. They had to wait for their grandparents to choose a name for their first born son, so they give him the temporary name, Gogol, after a distinguished writer. Because of their Indian heritage, a second "good name" was later given to Gogol; Nikolai; "Nick" for short. As a child, their son argued and fought to be called Gogol instead of his more American name. However, as he got older, he grew tired of the clunky name and his Indian heritage. He started to call himself "Nick" and he began to pushed his family and his culture away.

I related to this movie in so many ways. Regardless of your cultural background, if you're first generation American, family life can be tough. Gogol/Nick is supposed to be American, yet he’s supposed to be Indian. You can't live the blended cultural lifestyle that you want because society makes it "either/or." So I get what Nick/Gogol is going through, but all the same, he was such a disrespectful prick. What a weeny of a character. I wanted to smack him upside the head and yell "respect your parents!" Actually, I did yell that at the TV screen. The Namesake had a lot of the basic family dynamic themes compounded with typical immigrant issues. It addressed the problems that newlyweds encounter and issues that arise from a father-son relationship, but it also made a point to explore the common hardships that immigrant families face.

However, with the above said, this wasn’t necessarily great film. I have a tendency to look positively on movies that address these themes, but the story-telling in The Namesake was very unbalanced. I think the filmmakers meant to make this an ensemble cast type of film, but it wasn’t very clear. Sometimes they focused on the mother, then the father, and then the son, but the points of view were very disproportional. The Namesake mainly focused on Gogol/Nick, but at the same time not.

Nick is a completely different person from Gogol, and he knew it. So after watching this film, my argument earlier remains the same. It isn’t just a name. It’s who you are, and it can define you. Just don’t let The Namesake define your opinion on a good flick.

Away From Her

2008-03-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

When I was little, my mom use to own a Board and Care, which is sort of like a nursing home. It was just a normal one-story house with four bed rooms and it housed six elderly “clients.” There was this one 80-year-old man named Manuel. He always wore this bright yellow baseball cap and loved to walk around the house in a speedy-like manner. He never had a destination. He just liked to keep moving. Unfortunately, I didn’t really get to know him because he didn’t really understand who or what I was. He had Alzheimer’s disease, and because he loved to walk, he’d sometimes make a break for it; he’d leave the house, wander the streets, and sadly, get lost. As a kid, I just assumed that this was what came with getting old; memory loss, but as I got older I started to understand the magnitude of that loss.

Unlike The Notebook’s sappy interpretation of Alzheimer's mercilessness, Away From Her brings humanity and reality to the disease. Staring a very classy Julie Christie and television actor, Gorden Pinset, Fiona and Grant are an older couple still terribly in love. Tragically, Fiona is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and she makes the decision to move into a nursing home for those in her condition. However, the nursing home’s policy is that residents have no visitors or phone calls for 30 days. For Grant, that was the tipping point. He didn’t want her there, let alone be away from her for more than a few days. Fiona is persistent with her decision, and Grant grudging leaves her there. Sadly, when Grant returns on the 31st day, Fiona no longer remembers him and has formed a new bond with another resident.

As much as I felt the love between Grant and Fiona, the movie had mixed messages. It illustrated all the sanctity of love and devotion, yet showed where how it faltered. He loves her and would give her anything that would make her happy, but he wasn't always faithful. There was a nurse who befriends Grant during his loneliness, yet at times belittles him. There's this woman who Grant starts hanging out with, and she despises him and is whole-heartedly rude to him. Yet the next thing you know, she asks him out on a date. All the while, Fiona is in this nursing home because she doesn't think her husband could handle taking care of her, but the effect of being apart is causing more stress to Grant and no real help to Fiona's health. (Don't worry folks; no spoilers here. All this stuff is in the trailer). There is a very real possibility that the filmmakers were going for a human flaw theme, which is entirely feasible. However, these contradicting situations, left me frustrated, let down, and miserable. Lastly, I think the ending was suppose to be hopeful, but with all the happenings, it just sort of left me uneasy and nervous about my future as a senior citizen.

One day, when I'm old a gray, I hope that I'd have a husband as devoted to me as Grant is, sans the unfaithfulness. But as beautiful a this love story wanted to be, it just wasn't. My take: stay away from it.

Michael Clayton

2008-03-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

I thought that since my last post started with Brad, my next post might as well start with his good friend George. As a kid, my favorite ER doctor was Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle), but that was probably because he was closer to my age than George. As I got older, I started to appreciate Clooney's salt and pepper hair, effortless charm, and movie star good looks. And the best part yet is, he doesn't jump on couches professing his love for a woman 20 years his junior, he doesn't attempt to single-handedly adopt one child from every country, he doesn't preach pre-Vatican 2 practices (yet at least). He seems just kind of down-to-earth. Even when he plays a selfish prick, he still seems normal - and dreamy. So that's all the good I have to say about Mr. Clooney. Michael Clayton, on the other hand, is a slimy, lowly lawyer who seems like he's out for redemption. I don't like him.

The film starts with Clayton gambling away his dirty corporate dollars at a seedy, back room poker table. When he leaves and takes a drive, he fatefully exits his car to look at some horses, and then something unexpected happens. Then the movie takes you back to a few days earlier to see what events had transpired before the incident. Michale Clayton is a lawyer. The custodial kind. He cleans up messes that other lawyers can't. When something happens to his colleague and friend, Arthur Edens, Clayton becomes suspicious of U North, the agricultural conglomerate, after he learns Eden's progress in the case against them.

Boring and slow, like many of the Oscar nominated movies for 2008, Michael Clayton really had nothing that I'd expect in a good film. There was no character investment, George Clooney acted as he did in every other George Clooney role, and it wasn't "thrilling" as the genre, of which this film falls under, promises. I could have cared less about what happened to the characters. Live, die, all the same to me. I have no idea why George Clooney was nominated for best actor. Maybe the Academy just liked to look at him. And half the time, I had no idea about what the heck was going on. You could call this film subtle or understated. I just call it dull and complex.

I will give Michael Clayton the 0.5 GOOMBA boost for Tilda Swinton's performance as insecure yet simultaneously diabolical U North Chief Counsel member and for George's ability to depict redemptive intentions in his character. However, the movieGOOMBA does not recommend Michael Clayton unless you're really into legal thrillers. The ending was mildly engrossing and meaningful but does not really warrant a viewing, unless you're like me and will watch anything.

The Assasination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

2008-03-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

Brad Pitt definitely cannot pull off black hair. The dark mane replaces his charming good looks and kind eyes with plainness. It roughens up his features and it basically makes him look kinda ugly. Now, I don't drool over Mr. Pitt. Sometimes I think he's kind of abnormal, even as a blond haired, blue eyed bona fide stud. I mean, come on. Hooking up with Angelina and sharing the rainbow children family lifestyle. Only in Hollywood I guess. But despite his personal life, you can't help but enjoy Brad's movies, even when he's a mental, disturbing, Old West kind of killer.

If you haven't heard of the Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, don't feel bad. The long-length titled film wasn't even popular enough to get an acronym or mnemonic, and it sure needs one. This third person narrated Western also stars Casey Affleck, younger brother to Ben Affleck, as Robert Ford, a young, naive kid who idolizes the tough evilness of Jesse James. Robert Ford manages to secure a place in Jesse James' gang, but through train robberies, murders, and hold ups, he grows to resent the outlaw and eventually helps execute a mutiny.

This is actually some high quality cinema. The cinematography is beautiful, and the matter-of-fact way of storytelling makes this film. The movie has a foreboding, morbid tone, and though slow-paced, the suspenseful anticipation of the inevitable and the curiosity that is evoked from Pitts performance as the disturbing character, Jesse James, kept me interested enough. I also thought Casey Affleck did a superb job as the cocky yet pigeon-hearted, infamous bandit fan. BUT, as strangely beautiful as this The Assassination of Jesse James is, I struggled to keep my focus on the screen. I turned the movie off about four times. I just couldn't watch it straight through. It was too drawn out, and half the time I didn't understand why Jesse James wanted to kill most of his posse, one by one. In the end, I got that it was because he was just seriously unhinged and paranoid, half of his insanity stemming from his unpredictability, but I didn't have the patience to stick with it or the characters in one sitting.

A sophisticated cinemaphile will want to watch this film to see how a movie can be different, out of the box. But for the normal, average Joe, popcorn flick viewer, this might not be his/her cup of tea. I kind of see myself in both these roles, hence the score of 3 GOOMBAS. I'm on the fence, people. Maybe let me know what you think.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

2008-03-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

<---This picture kind of freaks me out.

Back in college, we had this assignment. We had to bring in a movie clip and analyze it. Well, one girl brought in the opening scene from Elizabeth. I'd never seen it before, so she pops it in and then, I proceed to freak out. Now if you know what I'm talking about, bare with me for a sec as I describe the segment. It begins with an aerial view of a medieval crowd, and then you realize that, as the camera pans closer to the ground, there's a group of people tied to poles with firewood surrounding their outer perimeter. Some soldiers begin to light the wood, and the citizens tied to the stakes begin screaming in horror. Then the camera pans around the unfortunate souls as they burn to death. ::shudders:: So you can see, I was not looking forward to watching Elizabeth: The Golden Age. I didn't want to experience middle age torture vicariously; however, luckily Elizabeth 2 wasn't good enough to suck me into its reality.

Cate Blanchett reprises her Academy Award winning role as Queen Elizabeth I in this sequel to 1998's Elizabeth. The Virgin Queen is back; this time with her eye on a handsome Sir Walter Raliegh and the Spanish Armada and a vindictive cousin are out for her crown. With her ladies in waiting constantly at her side, Elizabeth searches for a suitable partner, and is smitten with the famous explorer who brings goodies from the Americans. She wages war against the Spanish Inquisition, has a few people tortured and executed, all the while still maintaining a surprisingly delicate and just nature.

Some general comments. I was a little confused about the Elizabeth's relationship with her lead court lady. It was kind of lesbianesque, which is cool, if that's what the filmmakers were implying. However, from my research, Queen Elizabeth wasn't gay, so I'm just going to disregard those strange bath time moments as a different kind of friendship. Then there was Clive Owen, whose tan made him very nice to look at, and his slightly arrogant air made him interesting and charming. The plot was eh. It didn't have a very provactive ending, and it sure as heck didn't have an engrossing plot arch. If you know anything about history, nothing is a surprise, so all that's left is Cate. Cate Blanchett was my pick for the Oscar. She was the perfect mix of ravage, sensitivity, and curt politness. You did not want to mess with her, but feel sorry for the Queen all the same.

I watched Elizabeth: the Golden Age because Blanchett was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance. That is the only reason why you should watch this mediocre flick. Watching for any other reason, other than possibly History class, would be a mistake. Its kind of boring.

Across the Universe

2008-03-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

I do not doubt the awesomeness of The Beatles. Their music is legendary, and its evident in their prominence in commercials, movies, and on the radio. But alas, Across the Universe, a musical based around their songs, failed them.

Across the Universe is a period musical about life during the Vietnam war. Jude leaves London for the United States in search for his father and for a new life. In the States, Jude befriends Yale slacker, Max, and on Thanksgiving, Max takes Jude home to meet his family, including his beautiful teenage sister, Lucy. When Lucy's boyfriend dies in combat she moves to New York to live with her brother and eventually falls for the Brit. This film is about their love story amidst the chaotic and passion ridden time that was the 60's.

As expected, this film has great, though possibly blasphemous, re-interpretations of the some of the most popular Beatles songs. The actors have beautiful voices, Jude (Jim Sturgess) is quite a looker, and Jude and Lucy's infatuation with each other is believable. However, this film is a bit too psychedelic for my taste. Like most theatrical musicals, the characters are symbolic; Prudence is suppose to represent sexual liberation, while Sadie represents independence and the rock star lifestyle. States of mind are represented in over the top ways, like the drug induced, hallucinogenic bus tour on the road to see the doctor (cameo by Bono) or Max's fear of joining the army manifested into cookie cutter, box like clay-mated soldiers. It just got too weird for me.

I thought that the film did a good job transitioning gradually into the trippy, but this movie just wasn't a good enough story. Across the Universe has great music, pretty people to look at, and an even representation of all the major aspects in this socially and politically charged time in American history. But I didn't enjoy it.

Once

2008-03-03T22:48:00.001-08:00

5 GOOMBAS

This movie was sitting in front of my DVD player for a month before I got around to watching it. No, I take that back. It sat around my house for a month in the red envelope, and I finally sent it back because I decided I wasn't going to watch it. Then, it was nominated for an Academy Award, and because I promised my Number 1 Fan that I would do my Oscar picks for 2008, I had to re-request it from Netflix. Then it lay on my floor for two weeks; intermittently placed in the actually DVD slot and then taken out again after deciding that I actually wanted to watch something else. If I had known what a perfect movie this was going to be, two months earlier, my life would have been just a little bit better.

Described as a contemporary musical, Once isn't of the traditional genre where the actors spontaneously break out into song and dance. Its a story of a lonely street performer who meets a girl as she sells flowers on the street. Within a week, they casually begin writing and composing music together, and though brief, their encounter leads to an intense connection grounded in music.

This film is so simple, in both its story and its characters, but the anonymity and relatability of the their relationship, with each other and the audience, highlights their passion and makes this film and their love story great. Shot on the streets of Dublin, and filmed on hand held cameras, Once left a huge lump in the deepest part of my throat. Along the sames lines as Before Sunrise (and the sequel, Before Sunset), Once is about more than what's just what's on the screen. The longing and hope that's present in the music and in the characters is subtle and stylistically raw at first, and then it gradually builds to something elegant and beautiful; a kind of tragic optomism. Their encounter is short but meaningful, and meeting for mere moments, changed them forever.

Once is a film for the refined palate, but I could be wrong. This film is pretty powerful. The romantics and audiophiles will see past its rough cinèma vèritè style and the dragging sort of plot, and others will see themselves in these characters. Either way, its definitely worth a watch, even if you end up hating it (though that would break my heart). I still stand by my 5 GOOMBAS; you're deprived if you don't see it just once.

Sicko

2008-02-25T21:18:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

I work in the health care industry. I won't say what I do exactly. Lets just say I don't get to watch a whole lot of movies for my day job, but I must say, I do have an excellent, kick ass health insurance policy. Not to mention I have an in on what facilities have the most cutting edge medical equipment. I have it pretty good. And then I watched Sicko, a documentary that paranoid, hypochondriacs should not watch.

From the liberal mind of trendy documentary filmmaker, Michael Moore, Sicko points out the major flaws and unfair consequences of the American health insurance industry. Featuring former health insurance representatives, doctors caught in the insurance game, international healthcare users, and victims of denied health coverage, Sicko presents a harsh attack on American health insurance and the U.S. government.

Michael Moore is a manipulator, and by God, is he good at it. For the first hour of this documentary, he controlled my mind, my thoughts, and my opinions. "Why aren't we like France?" "How come we're not helping our fellow Americans by paying more taxes and having government controlled health care?" "Gosh darnit, that man deserves to have his middle finger reattched for nothing!" "Why can't we be Socialists?" (If I don't post in the next few days, it means I've been McCarthy-ed and have been kidnapped by the government.) But I took hold of my paranoid, worry wart self, shook her, said, "Get a grip Woman!", and put my film critic hat back on, and I realized, "Damn, Michael Moore is good."

As Moore ventures through his narration, each segment further strengthens his argument against American Health Insurance companies. The viewer comes up with a counter-argument to Moore's current point, and in the next segment Moore counters the counter-arguments. You're left with nothing to say except state a enthusiastically duped, "American Healthcare sucks!" Sicko's tone is at times, tongue-and-check and completely sarcastic. It presents in an understandable and interesting fashion, and the manipulation is seamless.

Health issues are tough, and Michael Moore's world makes it seem exponentially harder. Sicko shows a seedy side of health care, skewed as the opinion in this film is. Watch it with a grain of salt, and see how a documentary filmmaker pulls the strings.

The Game Plan

2008-02-23T20:17:00.000-08:00

1 GOOMBA

In high school, I had two girlfriends who were just as obsessed over The Rock as everyone else was over Justin Timberlake. To this day, I still don't understand what was so hot about WWF Smackdown! (That's right, I said it. I refuse to recognize this WWE business.). "Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?" What the heck kind of corny motto is that? But Americans ate it all up, Thursday night after Thursday night, and low and behold, The Rock, AKA Dwayne Johnson, became a household name and was propelled into the Hollywood film industry. If it weren't for his cheesy beginnings as an overacting, theatrical stud, I might not have judged Dwayne Johnson so harshly, but sadly, I know what made him. He's got to be freaking amazing to change my mind about his acting skills. Yes, he may be easy on the eyes, but he goes and stars in The Game Plan and my respect for him delves deeper into the bottom of the B list barrel.

Joe Kingman has it all; fans, cool digs, good looks, and a successful career as the NFL quarterback for the fictitious Boston Rebels. He's also a selfish jerk. One day, a little girl named Peyton Kelly shows up at his doorstep claiming to be his daughter. She needs a place to stay for month, and Joe doesn't want anything to do with her. But what can he do? Turn this 9 year old away? Instead he takes her in and learns what it means to love someone more than himself.

Some positive things about this hyper-Disney-fied film, The Rock can sign! I know right? Weird. Madison Pettis is a super cutie, and the Bedazzler makes a cameo.

Some bad things that are already a given; the cheese, the gushy I-love-you, you've changed my life crap, and the so over-done tough football player in a tutu bit.

Don't see what The Rock is cookin' tonight. Skip this family popcorn flop for Enchanted. In lieu of Dwayne Johnson, Patrick Dempsey will satisfy the handsome quota.

UPDATED: 2008 Academy Awards

2008-02-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

My Oscar Picks:

The movieGOOMBA guessed 11 right!
***=Winner

Best Motion Picture of the Year:
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men***
There Will Be Blood

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role:
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood***
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones - In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role:
Cate Blanchette - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose***
Laura Linney - The Savages
Ellen Page - Juno

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role:
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men***
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role:
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Ruby Dee - American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton***

Best Achievement in Directing:
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Ethan Coen, Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men***
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Jason Reitman - Juno
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Best Writing, Screenplay written Directly for the Screen:
Juno***
Lars and the Real Girl
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
The Savages

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced:
Atonement
Away from Her
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
No Country for Old Men***
There Will Be Blood

Best Achievement in Cinematography:
The Assassination of Jesse James
Atonement
No Country for Old Men
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
There Will Be Blood***

Best Achievement in Editing:
The Bourne Ultimatum***
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Into the Wild
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Best Achievement in Art Direction:
American Gangster
Atonement
The Golden Compass
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street***
There Will Be Blood

Best Achievement in Costume Design:
Across the Universe
Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age***
La Vie en Rose
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best Achievement in Makeup:
La Vie en Rose***
Norbit
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Best Achievement in Music Written for the Motion Pictures, Original Score:
Atonement***
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song:
"Raise It Up" - August Rush
"Happy Working Song" - Enchanted
"So Close" - Enchanted
"That's How You Know" - Enchanted
"Falling Slowly" - Once***

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing:
The Bourne Ultimatum***
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
3:10 to Yuma
Transformers

Best Achievement in Sound Editing:
The Bourne Ultimatum***
No Country for Old Men
Ratatouille
There Will Be Blood
Transformers

Best Achievement in Visual Effects:
The Golden Compass***
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Transformers

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year:
Persepolis
Ratatouille***
Surf's Up

List of all Oscar Winners: 2008 Academy Award Winners

Shoot 'Em Up

2008-02-21T20:56:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

If you ever want to see a movie with just a disgusting amount of guns, I’d recommend Shoot ‘Em Up, Clive Owen’s recent action packed (think industrial-sized trash compactor packed) flick. Oh, and if you like carrots, you should watch this too.

It’s a quiet evening in a shady part of town, and Smith, a one named kind of guy, finds himself in the middle of an intense situation as he sits at the bus stop eating his carrot. Unable to not get involved, Smith chases down a group of organized thugs who chasing a young pregnant woman who is about to give birth. The woman dies, leaving the baby in the improvised care of Smith. Unfortunately for Smith, those thugs want the baby dead too, thus leaving the ground littered with bullet casings and dead people. Paul Giamatti also stars.

Bizarre and outrageous as this movie is, it’s fast-paced, adrenaline inducing, and insane – in a good way. It sort of reminded me of Crank but better and more entertaining. Who knew Paul Giamatti could look so menacing? Apparently he plays a superb, and convincingly deranged villain, while Clive Owen manages his normal stoic charm. If this movie were an animal, it would be a hummingbird, spastic and hyper, but this bird would be on crack.

Serious action flicks, like war movies, don’t really do it for me, but I find that action films with comical undertones are highly enjoyable. Shoot ‘Em Up is funny, dark, and strange. When you watch, you have to be in it for the ride.

Trade

2008-02-16T21:05:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

Last summer, I took a trip down to Ensenada, Mexico with my friends, and trying to get back to the States was not an easy feat. One of the roads we took to get into Mexico was closed, so we had to find another way to get to the boarder. Attempting to do this on streets with non-existent lanes, and non-existent road signs proved to be muy dificìl. Eventually, we find a street that had formed a long line of cars, and the police were directing traffic. As we approached the officers, we decided to make sure we were in a line taking us to the United States, so my friend asked the policeman, "Qué el camino màs ràpido es a los Estados Unidos?" What is the fastest way to the United States?

The office laughs and answers in English, "For how much?"

My friend hesitated, as the rest of the caravan, myself included, perk up at this unexpected response. Zach replies, "Vente dolares?"

The group, shocked and apprehensive, remain quiet as the exchange occurs. The officers says that we should follow his friend. He assured us that he would show us the right way home. Zach follows the second officer, who is on his motorcycle, as the rest of scream things like "Holy crap! Is he taking us to jail?!" "Oh my God Zach, what the heck just happened?" It turns out that the second officer did lead us the right way home. For $20, he also let us cut in line; shaving 2 hours off of the 3 hour wait time to cross. We had successfully, and unintentionally bribed a Mexican police officer. Stuff like this happens in Mexico all the time. Sadly, the country is full of corrupt officials, black market trade, and shady undertakings, and knowing this while watching a film like Trade hits extra hard.

Kevin Kline stars in Trade, a film about the underground sex trade in Mexico. Adriana, a thirteen-year-old-girl, is viciously kidnapped off the street near her home. Adriana's kidnappers intend on selling her on the Internet as a sex slave. Her brother Jorge desperately searches for her, and during his seemingly hopeless quest to find his little sister, Jorge runs into an off duty Texas cop (Kline) who is on his own personal mission for justice.

The most startling aspect of this film is its truth. It's knowing that stuff like this happens around the world all the time. Some scenes in Trade were basically unwatchable. There were scenes of rape, child molestation, and other God-awful crimes against humanity. I don't understand how another human being can do that to another human being and still look others in the eye. But other than this movie's realism, and the light it sheds on this sociopolitcal issue, Trade flounders in all other ways.

Though the idea behind the film holds interest, Kline's portrayal of the tormented, flawed cop is unconvincing and the notion that he would help a strange teen from a third world country who claims his sister has been kidnapped is absurd. There was a Russian chick in plot who was sort of random; her story was thoughtful and symbolic, but it didn't fit. In general, the filmmakers intent for paradoxical characters failed. I'd actually call them hypocritical. Basically the film tried saying too much, inevitably rendering it uninspired.

I don't know of another film about the sex trade, so watch Trade for awareness on the topic. However, don't expect to find any hope for humanity in this film. It's message is pretty straight forward. People suck, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

The Jane Austin Book Club

2008-02-14T00:39:00.000-08:00

1 GOOMBAS

I promise, I've watched better movies than this one this week, but this one was so terrible, it'll be easy for me to get out there quick.

The Jane Austin Book Club was awful. It was like reading a cheap "chick lit" book except it thankfully only took one and a half hours to get through. Haven't even heard of this movie, you say? Well that's probably a good thing. It went to theaters in October and was quickly removed to draw DVD attention for lonely housewives and pitiful romantics like myself just in time for Valentine's Day. What's that, you still want to hear about it? I know, I know. I did too.

This film stars partially recognizable ensemble cast (if you watch a lot of TV) in this pointless movie, The Jane Austin Book Club. A group of very different women (and one man; not gay) with varying relationship problems decide to form a Jane Austin book club. Over the course of six months, the women (and man) read all of Austin’s novels, reflect over her timeless romances, and change for what I think was suppose to be for the better . . . except I didn't really see that metamorphosis. I just saw some messed up women start making normal choices.

Whenever I got to the library, I see books like this all the time. Divine Sisters of the YaYa Sisterhood, The Knitting Club, The Red Hat Club. Movies too; The First Wives Club, The Joy Luck Club, Steel Magnolias (which is actually good). Do you notice a trend in the titles here? Gag me.

Women aren’t this emotionally retarded. I was insulted for my gender. Save yourself this Valentine’s; watch Becoming Jane or Once instead.

3:10 to Yuma

2008-02-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

I would never want to live in the wild wild west. Everyone is always dirty, people have wooden teeth, sugar is rationed, oranges are treats only at Christmas, and people get shot at almost every day. The only way you could get me to live in a place like that would be to promise that I would be a badass outlaw chick. Like Laura Croft of the old West. Unfortunately for me, I’m no Laura Croft, but on the good side, I only have to experience the rugged, savageness of outlawed cowboys as a voyeur.

The western, 3:10 to Yuma, stars former Gladiator, Russell Crowe, and current Batman Christian Bale as infamous outlaw, Ben Wade, and struggling rancher, Dan Evans. Evans is having a hard time making ends meet and when the opportunity to escort criminal to Yuma for a $200 reward arises, Evans jumps at the chance despite the very real threat of Wade’s erratically crazy and unforgiving posse.

So, did you notice the crazed, un-caring, highly skilled gunman who’s in man-love with Ben Wade? That’s Ben Foster, Tucker, from Disney’s short-lived TV series, Flash Forward. He’s been playing some insane roles lately, and the part of Charlie Prince has cinched his ability to act like a deranged man. I didn’t doubt you in Alpha Dog, Tuck; you can take normal human being roles now.

I thoroughly enjoyed the character of Ben Wade. He is gentlemanly, he keeps his word, and he’s cunningly smart - but he’s the bad guy. It is such an interesting duality. He steals a man’s horse, promising to return it, and he does. He kills anyone and everyone without remorse, without conscious, but he returns a man’s animal. He quotes the Bible through the film, but ignores the “Thou shall not kill” bit. Not to mention he maintains the loyalty of gang who could kick some serious ass. Ben Wade is kind of cool – and evil.

Though the movie revolves around the relationship (if you could even call it that) between Evans and Wade, its only interesting because Wade doesn’t have relationships. He’s a one-man show, and the mutual fascination between both characters is curiously appealing to watch.

3:10 to Yuma is a pretty good western. It’s no Tombstone, but luckily I didn’t really like Tombstone. In a time when westerns are sparse, 3:10 to Yuma is good enough to fill the void.

Good Luck Chuck

2008-01-31T18:45:00.000-08:00

1.5 GOOMBAS

Does anyone out there remember Jessica Albas' first gig? She played Maya in the short-lived TV show, Flipper (the 90's version, not from the 60's). Even then, her nature beauty made me hate her and adore her at the same time. She's one of the few celebrities whose un-make-up-ed, mid chew, most un-becoming paparazzi photos are basically a joke. It's impossible to ugly-up that girl. So when her big break came via Dark Angel, I wasn't surprised. Her perfectly tanned, flawless skin and cute voice would surely make her Hollywood bound. Except unfortunately, it made her Hollywood bound toward flops like Into the Blue, Honey, and Good Luck Chuck.

Good Luck Chuck, also starring stand-up comedian Dane Cook, features Charlie Logan, a cursed individual whose life has been filled with women finding Mr. Right directly after sleeping with him. At first, this scenario seems like every man's dream come true. Every woman uses him to find her true love, and that's fine by Charlie. The more sex, the better. But when Charlie meets Cam, a klutzy penguin wrangler, he forces himself into abstinence until he can find a way to break the curse.

If this movie had taken out all the raunchy sex scenes, the unnecessarily crude language, and the insensitive, misogynistic side-kick, this would have been a pretty decent chick flick. Unluckily, this crap was all mixed in. Sad for us. Sad for the movie. Sad for Dane Cook and Jessica Alba's careers. Good Luck Chuck is only slightly better than The Heartbreak Kid, a film I just reviewed a few days ago, only because Charlie Logan was a potential gentleman. Yes, he took advantage of the situation, but in some instances, he is quite lovely. And then, he'd say things like "Do you like it when I eat your penguin ass?" Gag me with a spoon and put me out of my misery.

This entire film is basically ludicrous; featuring characters with unrealistic occupations, unconvincing scenarios, and unfunny everything. I don't care how cute Jessica Alba looks as a clumsy ass. She can't save Chuck.

Juno

2008-01-29T00:48:00.000-08:00

4.5 GOOMBAS

Pregnancy is in. I’d argue that it started with Lucille Ball, but I think it really started with Apple, Coco, Shilo, and Suri, the burgeoning generation of the children of celebrities. Jessica Alba and JLo are a-baking, Christina and Nicole Richie just spawned. Women are just sprouting babies everywhere. Maybe it’s because we can actually say “pregnant” instead of “with child” on TV, but either way, gestation is in.

Relatively unrecognized actress Ellen Paige stars in this coming of age comedy, Juno. “It started with a chair,” and then sixteen-year-old Juno MacGuff was pregnant. This is the story of how Juno deals with life in her unconventional and spunky way, and unknowingly teaches everyone around her a lesson in perseverance.

The dialogue in this film is smart and hilariously facetious, with just the right amount of sarcasm and zip. The writers deserve props, but so do the actors for their meticulous delivery of such perfect one-liners; “As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni.”

Juno MacGuff is one of the best characters I’ve seen in a very long time. She has attitude, she’s articulate in a slang-ish kind of way, and she’s bluntly honest. She has integrity and a firm understanding of her capability and her limits. As immature as she is in regard to her taste in funky clothing, blue frozen drinks, and choice of room décor (a hamburger phone, come on now), she takes her current situation and addresses it with ration and frankness. Her atypical candor while checking her pregnancy is already a testament to her independent, logical manner; all a typical day’s drama for this teen freak.

I hesitate to even comment on Juno’s “puffy” situation because really, the pregnancy’s a gimmick. The movie may use it to offer an interesting twist to a teenager’s life, but in all seriousness, it’s not about the sea monkey growing in her stomach. I never felt like her pregnancy was represented as a mistake. I don’t know what that says about society, but to me, the film’s non-judgmental tone is liberating. In a world so full of hate and narrow-minded sense, Juno makes a definite and defining decision, follows through with it, and moves on.

Juno is awesome. As funny and different as this film is, it really spoke to me on a different level. A movie with a combo like that is like, dude, one wicked baby big head out of a million food babies.

Stardust

2008-01-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

I’m not a big fantasy book reader. My devotion to Harry Potter is a fluke. I like coming-of-age novels, romantic fiction, and stories with adventure in the real world, as opposed to an alternate universe. So it's even more fun for me when I go to the movies and watch something like Narnia, Lord of the Rings, or Eragon. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and I’m quite often, pleasantly surprised. So when a movie like Stardust comes along, I just about gush with excitement; like I've discovered it first.

Stardust brought me into an exciting world of lightening catchers, greedy sorceresses, unicorns, and magic. Tristan crosses the wall and journeys to the land of Stormhold to bring back a fallen star and win the love of village beauty, Victoria. Little does Tristan know that the fallen star is actually a person, that a wicked witch and three princes are after the same prize, and his family ties to the other side of the wall are stronger than he thinks. Claire Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert Dinero, Sienna Miller, and relative new comer, Carlie Cox star.

Stardust has what many of the Harry Potter movies lack, a perfect balance of wonder and story. I was thoroughly a part of the adventure and was quite impressed by how understandable the complicated plot was told. Typically, a film with so many moving parts becomes frustrating and unintelligible, but this movie’s plot was clear and easy to follow. Stardust is a good example of great story telling, a concept that is lost to many of today’s book adaptations.

Some other things that may make you want to watch this movie: Robert Dinero dancing around in a pink dress; crushing on the dorky Tristan who, by the end of the film, becomes a long-haired hottie; and pretty intense CG. I was caught up in the universe of Stormhold, and for about an hour, like Yvaine, I longed to be loved.

A few days after my initial viewing of the film, I wondered what a sorceress' powers would look like in real life. It definitely would look like green lighting.

Rush Hour 3

2008-01-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

I just watched this movie two nights ago, and I can’t remember what most of the story was about. I literally had to go and read the Wikipedia article to remind myself of the plot synopsis. What does that tell you? (No, my mind is not going . . . I’m only twenty-four for gosh sakes).

The Is-His-Own-Stunt-Man Jackie Chan and comedian Chris Tucker reprise their roles as Chief Inspector Lee and Detective James Carter in the third installment of the Rush Hour series. The always professional Inspector Lee is off protecting Ambassador Han, but when the Ambassador is nearly assassinated, Lee rushes off (with Carter in tow) to Paris to take down the Triad. Somewhere in there, there is a French showgirl who is key to the plot, a ninja girl who’s kind of annoying, and Han’s daughter, the girl who looks old and young at the same time.

I started out by saying that this movie’s plot is undistinguished, and that’s because it really is. I remember key fight scenes, Jackie Chan’s bad acting, and Chris Tucker’s over acting, but this move isn’t memorable. It is thrown to the masses for pure entertainment, and the plot is an afterthought to Tucker’s one liners and Chan’s ability to swing, kick, and punch. Fun and unbelievable as it is, I do not doubt its future in the $5 bin at Walmart.

The Heartbreak Kid

2008-01-24T19:45:00.000-08:00

1 GOOMBAS

I don’t think anyone out there would contest the awfulness of a marriage gone wrong, but I also know that Americans are always criticized for having a 50% divorce rate. Yet in the Philippines (where divorce is pretty much illegal), unhappy couples stay married but live in separate rooms or homes. 50% is just a statistic, and it can’t really be used to judge the happiness of marriages if other countries don’t allow divorces in the first place. But unfortunately for Americans, it doesn’t help that our media commercializes marriage through shows like The Bachelor or The Newlyweds, thus making a serious lifetime commitment seem trivial. The Heartbreak Kid is one such media profit maker that is an embarrassment to American culture.

The Farrelly Brothers direct this comedy starring Ben Stiller as Eddie, a lonely sports shop owner who finds the perfect girl. Partially because he’s in love with her, and partially to prevent her from moving to the other side of the world, he jumps into marital bliss head first, but on their honeymoon, he unfortunately sees a very different side of his sweet new bride. Lucky for him, and sadly for her, Eddie meets Miranda, his perfect girl #2, and on their honeymoon he decides to try and win Miranda and dump his new wife.

Already sounds terrible, huh? No, what’s even more terrible is this is a remake of a Jane Fonda movie, also titled The Heartbreak Kid. I haven’t actually watched the original, but I plan to this weekend and will let you know if it’s a flop or on top. I digress.

This movie has absolutely no class. It’s cheap, unfunny, and a rude excuse for even a popcorn movie. Eddie was purposefully pursuing Miranda while on his honeymoon. In what universe is that okay? As moronic as his new bride is, there is nothing funny about this situation. Plus, what makes Miranda different from Lila? How do we know she won’t be a psychopath too? Yes, we agree that Eddie jumped into marriage a little too quickly, but what does that say about his 2 day relationship with Miranda? This movie is horrific and is all the way in bad taste.

Keep your heart intact. Don’t bother watching it.

Cloverfield

2008-01-21T22:16:00.000-08:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

Were you sitting there, waiting with anticipation for the awesomeness of Transformers? The lights are dimming, the cold theater giving you goosebumps, the previews are starting, you're starting to sit back and relax and then . . . some weird ass movie trailer with no name plays and you see the head of the Statue of Liberty fly into the street. All you get is a date. A freaking date. "What the hell was that?" you ask. Then, you suddenly "Ooooh" with the rest of the audience as you see the name J.J. Abrams appear on the screen.

Brought to you from the obscure mind of TV's Lost producer, Cloverfield is a documentary-style monster movie about a group of young Manhattanites who try and survive the night. It's Rob's going away party, and as the night goes on and the social drama unfolds, an explosion occurs, and the real drama begins. The friends attempt to escape the city, but when the Brooklyn Bridge collapses and Rob decides to find Beth, the girl he loves, the friends find themselves in the middle of the battle between the US army and the thing before they are able to escape.

Let me start out with a disclaimer - I was incredibly nauseous by the end of the movie. I didn’t see anyone throw up, so it couldn’t have been that bad. But whatever you do, don’t sit up in the front!

Shot entirely from the first-person perspective of Hud, Rob’s best friend and the comic relief of the film, with his video camera, Cloverfield has so many great and cutting-edge aspects of a quality film. The main footage has intermittent slices of Beth and Rob’s day at Cooney Island because the movie is actually “taped over” their one perfect and only day together, and that symbolism in itself is already profound. There is no mention of a monster; the characters only react to what’s in front of them with “What the hell is that?!?” No one knows what’s going on, including the audience; the chaos is absolute, and we’re meant to be as completely in the dark as the fated New Yorkers. The suspense is almost unpalatable (almost), and it’s amazing how seamless the story-telling is when it’s a film meant to mimic an unedited home movie. The ending is perfectly poetic; the movie has a subtle way about it and is never quite that over-the-top. I can't help but know that this is how it would all go down if my friends and I were in this same situation.

However, where Cloverfield excels in craft, it lacks in follow through. Toward the end of the film, it starts losing some of its edge. Though not as satisfying, the unknown is always scarier, and revealing certain things wasn't such a good decision. The characters, through pretty well developed, usually don't react like how I think people (some in heels for that matter) in the middle of a devastated, monster infested, war zone would react.

I've always hated home movies. They have a haunting quality that is so personal and impossible to look away from. Cloverfield captures the final moments of some people's lives, and you're there, unable to help. It's aweful and simultaneously brilliant. Even though it doesn't make my "All Time Favorite Movies" list, the pop culture cult qualities and accomplished method of narration make the film worthy of the hype.

Sidenote: Recognize Beth? That's Rosa, the little girl who only spoke Spanish from Kindergarten Cop.

Sidenote: The radio transmission after the credits? Highlight to see "It's still alive . . ."

The Simpsons Movie

2008-01-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: In Springfield, the home of the Simpsons, the day never finishes where it starts. Homer Simpson heroically saves a pig from slaughter, but he irresponsibly dumps its waste in lake and single-handedly pollutes the water to toxic levels. The EDA places a glass bubble around the city of Springfield to contain the pollutants, and the Simpsons manage to find a way out. Who will save Springfield in their absence?

The GOOM: It’s an extended, 87 minute episode with the same kind of bafoonish humor and the same kind of bombastic storytelling.

The BA: It’s an extended, 87 minute episode with the same kind of bafoonish humor and the same kind of bombastic storytelling.

Grindhouse: Planet Terror

2008-01-11T21:50:00.000-08:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: After a toxic biochemical agent is accidentally released in a small, rural town in Texas, those affected turn into zombies that eat the flesh of those still alive. A group of surviors, including Cherry, a stripper, El, her ex boyfriend, a motivated doctor, the sheriff and a slue of random others fight to live out the night.

The GOOM: Just as the other half of the double feature, Deathproof, Planet Terror has the same gritty charm, with maybe a bit more grit. It was creatively styled and was carried out through every last detail. Like the exploitation films of the 1970s, which this film is bases its appearance, the focus of this film is on entertainment not quality. The significant attempt to imitate the lack of quality is entertaining enough as it is, but the ridiculously cheesy action, the considerable amount of gore, and the deliberately horrible story-telling make for a pretty interesting film.

The BA: I kind of get how it could be fun to create a film that mimics the cult, nostalgic genre, just like it would be fun to do spoofs, but is a movie, which is made to look deliberately bad, really good? Or is it just bad? Is it just because Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino make the film that it’s automatically cool? Did the gun really need to go in her leg socket?

Surf’s Up

2008-01-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: Cody Maverick is penguin surfer, and his childhood dream is to travel to the tropics and ride the waves just like his idol Big Z. His one chance of getting out of Shiverpool, Antarctica arrives when he is invited to the Penguin World Surfing Championship on Pen Gu Island , and it’s there that he finds his small town skill may not survive the big island surf.

The GOOM: Creatively and sophisticatedly animated (just look at that water!), Surf’s Up is a straight-forward “you can do anything when you set your mind to it” kind of story. It’s perfect for kids of all-ages, and you get to listen to my main man’s (Shia LaBeouf’s) wonderful, though smoke ridden, voice. The penguin’s distinct markings, made to mimic tattoo art, gives the characters a hip, yet still squeaky clean, vibe; the Chicken surfer was hysterical; and the chicks were cute and adorable. I'd also like to note the documentary style approach the movie took. Nice touch.

The BA: The story isn’t much to rave about. It’s just okay; nothing fancy or different, just okay. I’ve seen better movies, but this film isn’t all that bad either. I’d be indifferent if I didn’t call myself a critic (that’s with a lower case “c”).

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

2008-01-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: Brooklyn Firefighters Chuck (Adam Sandler) and Larry (Kevin James) are best friends. Following the death of Larry’s wife, Larry becomes so consumed with his own grief and the pressure of raising his children alone that he forgets to change his primary financial beneficiary to children, and its past the deadline. His only option is to marry, but he trusts no one except his loyal friend, Chuck Levine. They obtain a gay marriage license, but their lawyer is sexy Alex McDonough (Jessica Biel) makes Chuck less faithful to his marriage.

The GOOM: As un-politically correct as this movie is, it had its moments. I was totally compelled by the Adam Sandler-Jessica Biel attraction, and by the end of the film I knew that many of Chuck’s anti-gay comments stated in the beginning were meant to show a change of character. And in celebration of this gay themed film, I thought Jessical Biel was hot.

The BA: I often forget how crude Adam Sandler can be. I only like his wholesome movies like The Wedding Singer or 50 First Dates, so I forget what a retarded jackass he can be. Many of his gay references and sexual innuendos were just too off-the-wall, and it really turned me off during the first half of the film.

Evan Almighty

2008-01-11T21:29:00.000-08:00

1.5 GOOMBAS

SYNOPSIS: The sequel to the Jim Carey is God flick Bruce Almighty, Evan Almighty stars Steve Carrell as Evan Baxter, a successful Congressman turned Old Testament Noah. Following his election, Evan moves his family to a large, expensive house to begin his new political life, but God (AKA Morgan Freeman) has ark-building in Evan’s future.

The GOOM: Pretty much nothing, but I did like the filmmakers’ attempt (and I stress the word attempt) to make it a family flick and not just a crassly corny movie.

The BA: Pretty much all of it. It wasn’t funny; it created no connection between the audience, the story, or the characters; and my favorite Gilmore Girl just can’t pass for a mom of three boys.

Enchanted

2008-01-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

About a year ago, Ashleigh, one of my two devoted readers, gave me the heads up on this movie after she saw the trailer. Ashleigh, my wonderfully "I take crap from no one," "melodramas are cheesy" best friend, the girl who answers something juvenile with her signature raised eyebrow, was excited about Enchanted, a movie about a Disney princess who is banished to reality and the Prince who would save her. It was my turn to give her the eyebrow lift.

Starring Junebug’s Amy Adams and Cyclopes (James Marsden), soon-to-be princess, Giselle, meets Prince Edward, they fall in love, and are to be married the very next day. However, in true Disney fashion, Prince Edward’s wicked step-mother banishes Giselle to New York City, the place without happily ever afters, and she’s left to wait and be saved by Prince Edward.

The film begins in animation and then transitions to motion picture at the point of Giselle’s banishment. As a kid, I hated movies that mixed cartoons with real-life motion picture. I thought the technique cheapened the movie and made it less real. To me, these movies had no magic, and I couldn’t possibly understand how a movie like Enchanted could ever be clever. Ash, I guess you saw something I didn’t.

This movie didn’t do just the normal, drop a princess in New York and show what happens kind of deal. It took it to the next level. She gets the animals to dress her in the morning. She can conjure her own beautiful dress out of nothing and still get a full night’s sleep. She’s always annoyingly happy and genuine. Oh, and the singing – the gloriously fun singing. Enchanted is hilarious, smart, and wholesome, but I think a lot of its success can be attributed to Amy Adams. Had they chosen a different actress to play Giselle, I don’t think this movie would have received such great reviews. James Marsden was too corny, just as you’d expect an actor to be in a movie like this, but Amy Adams is believable. She really is a princess; naive and sincere through and through. In those moments where cheese is almost certain, she fills it with cuteness and grace.

More things I want to point out:
-Patrick Dempsey also stars
-Is it just me, or does Patrick Dempsey's girlfriend scare you too?
-Ironically, although this is your typical fairy tale, it kind of isn't . . .

This movie was surprisingly hilarious. I’m buying it the minute it goes to DVD. I recommend this to anyone who isn't a masochist. You have to see it for yourself to believe how good it is.

High School Musical 2

2008-01-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

I liked High School Musical. What was I thinking? Was it really good? I can’t remember anymore - my memory of it is tainted by High School Musical 2.

Disney’s newest teen idols Zach Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are back for round two in this tween, cash cow, High School Musical 2. It’s the end of the school year and Troy and Gabrielle are hoping for the summer of their lives. Rivals, Sharpay and her flamboyant brother, Ryan, head to their parent owned, golf resort, home, and in an attempt to steal Troy for herself, Sharpay secretly offers him a job at the resort. Troy accepts the position with the original cast of high schoolers in tow.

Overall, this movie was cute and tolerable. The kids in this film are too good-looking for their own good, and many of the songs are good in that pop-y kind of way. Plus, we all have to keep in mind that this is a made-for-TV movie, so that automatically changes the scoring card. I'd love for my kids to turn on the TV and obsess about this movie instead of trying to keep up with the Britneys and Lindseys of the world. It's just good clean fun. It's also worth mentioning that the production of this movie far exceeds the expectations of any typical made-for-TV film. The wardrobe alone probably cost more than any Lifetime movie cost to make. However, compared to its earlier counterpart, High School Musical 2 doesn't have its 'head in the game.'

High School Musical 2 didn't have any unique creativity. It took the same formula and regurgitated it all over again, but with a less diverse song selection. The whole movie was Pop, with Zach Efron at center stage, his fists pounding the air and his face forming ridiculous, "passionate" contortions. Poor Miss Hudgens, who I think is adorable despite the naked picture scandal, takes a definite backseat; even Ashley Tisdale surpasses her. It just isn't anything special.

The verdict: every teenyboppers dream come true, but if you've already been through high school once, why do it again?

Atonement

2007-12-26T18:31:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

A limited release, I heard about Atonement via a radio advertisement on my way to work. The commercial was a montage of hyper-romanticized lines from the film, a voice over done by a deep voiced voice actor (say that 5 times fast) who quoted gushing film critics (“the most achingly romantic movie since Titanic”), and with heart-wrenching, “just let me sob in peace” music playing in the background. Though this film had me at “achingly romantic,” I cringe at the thought of someone rolling their eyes and overlooking this remarkable film at the fault of the advertisers who betrayed this film’s distinct uniqueness. It isn’t all achingly romantic.

Keira Knightley and King of Scotland’s James McAvoy star is the intense, regret-filled film, Atonement, a film that focuses on how one mistake can drastically affect the lives of many. Already at thirteen, Briony Tallis is a writer. She possesses a broad vocabulary and has a preference for the fanciful. Cecillia Tallis, Briony’s older sister (Knightley) and Robbie Turner (McAvoy), the educated and intelligent gardener’s son, are in love, but when an unfortunate incident occurs, Briony accuses Robbie of a crime he did not commit, which forces Cecillia and Robbie apart.

Cinematographically beautiful, Atonement takes this simple story and gives it an editing edge. Many scenes are unconventionally placed on a semi-linear track. Some scenes are shown again from a different person’s perspective rather than editing the scenes together, as 99.9% of movies do, or at a later moment in the film, a sequence will repeat for emphasis. Other scenes are rewound while the scene showing the chaos in Dunkirk continues for 5 minutes without any cuts. The cinematography and editing is interesting and distinct. The mise en scenes of one shot literally made me say “Wow” out loud in the theater (the scene with the family standing on the front steps). The music is amazing, and the type-writer music creates an intense and suspenseful atmosphere during the first half of the film.

The movie doesn't make the 4.5 Goomba mark because the story wasn’t fantastic. I didn’t understand why Cecillia had an initial disregard for Robbie or Briony’s reason for her terrible accusation. Some parts of the movie were romantic enough but not in the melodramatic way that it’s portrayed on commercials. Reality, in the film, was very fuzzy. Sometimes I didn’t know if the scene in front of me was a memory, a fantasy, or the current moment. I still haven’t decided if this is something I liked.

Atonement’s sophistication is what makes it out of the ordinary, and it definitely makes it Oscar bait. Hopefully this film won’t be over-looked.

We Are Marshall

2007-12-19T22:54:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

Sometimes I wonder if Matthew McConaughey is on weed. He is so strange. He has really strange, overly exuberant mannerisms, he's constantly exercising and hanging out with Lance Armstrong, and he's always shirtless in his paparazzi photos. I find it hard to take him seriously. Especially with his geeky haircut and bad color job in We Are Marshall.

There is a very good possibility that I could be struck down by lightening right about now for criticizing this movie, even just McConaughey, in the slightest. We Are Marshall is about the unfortunate tragedy that occurred at Marshall University in 1970. Almost all of the Marshall football team died in the plane crash, and the film is a dedication to their memory.

We Are Marshall captured the youthful optimism and hope that the Marshall University team represented, but also the battles they needed to face following such a sudden disaster. The montage of moments leading up to the crash commanded the audience and encompassed the magnitude of the situation; it was very well shot and created interest with the editing. The scene of the school and community coming together to keep the school and team spirit alive gave me the usual sports-themed movie goosebumps. However, it is more than a sports film. It's an actual drama, giving it that potential edge to be something different and great.

Keeping all these good things in mind, We Are Marshall still lacks that extra "Umph." Though the premise and the back-story were excellent launching points for an inspiring, against all odds kind of flick, it really failed the deceased characters. The movie is about how Marshall University rose from the ashes to become the Thundering Herd despite such a great loss. However, the filmmakers made the mistake of giving the audience a personalized glimpse into some of the lives that were lost. I know it was meant to humanize the event, just as Jack and Rose's lives illustrated the sinking of the Titanic, but it sort of did the opposite. This whole new team created after the crash is faceless to me; the new coach, McConaughey, is strange and untrustworthy. There were some survivors who brought us through the end, but basically, I felt no connection to any characters other than those who were directly related to the deceased.

Maybe that is the whole point of the movie; moving on despite what life might bring, but the team of new members was just a huge blob to fill a void. They didn't represent triumph in my eyes. By not distinguishing those new members, they represented what Marshall lost, and by not distinguishing those new members, the team was definitely not a tribute to the boys who died.

The ending is bittersweet, and isn't the uplifting kind of film you hope it is. It's okay, but at the same time, to left me with a weird feeling. Marshall University should be proud that someone thought it important to capture the heartache and hardship that the school and town faced, but as a film straight from Hollywood, it goes on the B list.

I Am Legend

2007-12-16T23:52:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

One of the most awful scenarios I could ever picture myself in, other than being trapped in an automobile that is quickly being submerged by water, is being the last person alive in an abandoned, urban ghost town during the day and then at night, having to hide myself from intelligent predators who will surely find me. I would never feel safe.

Will Smith explores one of my greatest fears in his new motion picture blockbuster I Am Legend. Based on the 1954 science fiction novel by Richard Matheson, Robert Neville (Will Smith) is the last man living in New York City. In 2008, the measles was re-engineered into the Krippen Virus to work as a cure for cancer; however, it quickly mutated killing 90% of the people on the planet. 1% of the population was completely immune, but the rest became the Infected, people who exhibit primal, vampire-like qualities (sensitivity to UV light; attraction to blood)and blind rage. It was the Infected who killed the rest of the population, leaving Robert Neville, a military virologist, a lone survivor. Haunted by the memory of his family, Robert Neville obsessively searches for the cure; desperately hoping that his family's death won't be in vain.

This movie had so much potential. It set the perfect back story. It possessed perfect plot inertial. It perfectly developed the characters. It startled you in just the right places, and utilized silence in a strong way. Will Smith's performance was excellent, especially considering his lack of costars. His fondness for his dog is precious and simultaneously heart-breaking, and his comedic talent helps alleviate the stark loneliness and semi-realistic terror. The CG made everything feel real (it must have cost a fortune to edit out all the people in New York City). Everything felt legitimate, and it was kind of disturbing. But when the curtain for the last act went up, the perfectly orchestrated film crumbled.

I can pinpoint it to one moment; the introduction of the Ana and Ethan. They were presented very late into the film, creating no time for the audience to bond with them or trust them, and the whole fate/God bit was really out of place. It was inappropriate for these new characters to play such a large part in the ending, especially without any foreshadowing of their existence. Their role in the anti-climatic climax was weird . . . did Ethan even have a speaking part? I can't remember . . . They had such a huge plot responsibility but they were such flat and unimportant characters. They were unsuitable for the entire film, and I blame the film's downfall on their lack of character.

This movie could have been so good, and although I Am Legend and Will Smith may become box office legends, they unfortunately won't make it to AFI's top 100.

Grindhouse: Death Proof

2007-12-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

3.5 GOOMBAS

If you aren't already familiar, Grindhouse is a term used to describe low budget B movies played back to back and were extremely popular in the 1960's and 1970's. These flicks were usually exploitation films that focused on hot chicks, fast cars, and impossible blood baths rather than its storytelling and acting. Often, the picture and audio quality is very poor; the actual film has knicks and scratches with a grainy picture; sometimes it even has a missing reel.

Death Proof is the first film in this double-feature and is directed by gore-lover Quentin Tarantino. Serial killer, Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), has made his 1970 Chevy Nova “death-proof,” and he uses his deadly automobile to target and murder young, beautiful women despite his seemingly calm nature. His first targets are four tartly women who are on their way to meet some guys at a bar before heading up to a lake house for the weekend. After murdering them (and a fifth innocent girl who agreed to be driven home by Stuntman Mike) with his vehicle he goes in pursuit of four other women who prove to be more of a challenge than he initially thought.

Although Tarantino’s taste in cinematic style may be a bit too outrageous, you have to admit, he’s one of a kind. Death Proof is made to mimic low quality everything; poorly written script, over-the-top situations, insane blood and gut splatters, “girl scenes” that look like they could have been out of a porn movie, and yet, none of this made it feel like a B movie. Who else could have pulled that off? What Tarantino did was camouflage a well thought-out film with poor color, out of sync audio and slutty tramps.

Contrast the two sets of women. The first set is scantily clad, highly sexualized, trashy, and possessed few ambitions. Their conversations consist of men, partying and weed. They grant lap dances, purposely attract the wrong kind of attention, and make decisions as if there is no consequence. The second set of girls is young and beautiful, ambitious and fun loving. Their conversations are about work, interests, and life experiences. They seek adventure, and I don’t think they even mention a boyfriend or male companion once throughout their segment. The actual movie gets better when these girls are on screen (following a transitional gray area (literally) between segments). The shots and angles are stylized and fit the standard rules of film-making, unlike in the beginning where the 180 rule is constantly broken (making me completely irritated). In the second half, the dialog is better, the stunts and editing have quality, and there are hardly any scratches on the actual film. Tarantino is making a statement about women here, and the ending makes it obvious. I could go on analyzing every detail of this film, but I don't want to give too much away.

The bad about this flick: parts of the film were extremely slow. I almost turned off the movie after 20 minutes. I was dying. I’m a really impatient person. Luckily, I stuck through it, and it was completely worth it. Actually, even just the last 30 seconds of the film makes it worth it.

I think Tarantino is disturbed, but he’s an artist. I guess it just goes with the territory.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

2007-12-09T20:56:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

I absolutely hated the second Pirates movie. I entered the theater anxious and excited and left fuming and frustrated. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest made me physically angry and irritated. I couldn’t believe that such an unintentionally awful and corny movie is the predecessor of such an original and creative story. My disgust of the second film prevented me from possibly dumping my well-earned $10 into the trash, but my responsibility as the movieGOOMBA couldn’t stop me from sharing my findings with you.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End continues the saga of our favorite cowardly captain, Jack Sparrow and his frien-imes Elizabeth Swan and William Turner. Now bear with me as I try and explain the plot. I had to read the detailed synopsis after watching the flick to understand what I had just watched. The East Indian Trading Company is taking over the sea and executing all people associated to Pirateism, and the pirates must come together in order to have a fighting chance at maintaining their swashbuckling lifestyle. Their only hope, with the help of the resurrected Captain Barbobsa, is to save Jack Sparrow from Davy Jone’s Locker, so that he can be present at the Brethren Court. Throughout the movie there is some insane deal making and two-timing deal breaking, and it can be really hard to follow. There’s a plot arc about the sea goddess Calypso and tension between Will and Elizabeth. Most of the time I couldn’t tell whose side anyone was on and why anyone was doing what they were doing. Just try and stay with the story, Wikipedia it after. Don’t forget to wait for the scene following the end credits!

Overall, this was a better-produced film than Dead Man’s Chest. It has the eerie quality that the first film maintained, and the plot lacked the corniness that plagues the second film. The opening scene is phenomenal, and it sets the foreboding tone that makes the Pirate films unique. Elizabeth Swan is a bad-ass, Will isn’t such girly man, Jack Sparrow is as drugged as ever, and the even humanity of Davy Jones was quite touching. However, as I’ve already partially mentioned, the plot is extremely hard to follow; especially for a detail-oriented person like myself. Half the time, I couldn’t tell if Will had gone over to the dark-side and if Elizabeth still loved him. The whole green light mythology, curse thing kind of threw me for a loop too (BTW, read the screenwriter intention of the ending).

Worth mentioning is the great fight scenes, the film's authentic, adventurous style, and the romantic, melancholy ending. It was fun to watch, and I felt entirely absorbed in the action. Just be patient with the plot, and you might find yourself enjoying it.

Licensed To Wed

2007-11-28T00:07:00.000-08:00

1.5 GOOMBAS

Obsession of the moment: PB & J; Pam Beason and Jim. Fans of The Office will understand. Everyone thinks they're adorable, and I'm obsessed with their love story. Completely and utterly obsessed. What spurred this obsession? I watched seasons 1, 2, and 3 of The Office in one week, non-stop. I know, I'm obsessed. I have a problem. I want to start season 1 over again. I'm lucky Joe won't let me. Maybe I'll do it in secret . . . Meanwhile, as I arranged my cover, I watched Licensed To Wed starring The Office's own John Karsinski and retired pop princess Mandy Moore.

Already anticipating the worst Robin Williams film ever, the former Mrs. Doubtfire plays semi-deranged Reverend Frank who plans to marry young lovebirds, Sadie and Ben. What Sadie and Ben don't expect is the pain and torture of Reverend Frank's marriage preparation course. Frank's inappropriate behavior and obnoxious meddling strains the couple's seemingly perfect relationship, and the intentions of the Reverend's counseling methods are questioned.

I don't understand how anyone could appreciate the humor of this flick. It was cheap, corny, and tactless. It brings shame to the already tainted authority of the clergy. It's pointless and stupid, and I really think that this has placed Robin Williams alongside Tim Allen's greatest hits. Screwball comedy is suppose to be about bizarre situations and characters, but
Reverend Frank was impossible to like and too enthusiastic to be intriguing. He's just annoying. Sadie and Ben were uninteresting, and the only good thing about the movie was the bright colors of the background and the clothing.

Normally Robin Williams is great, and I'm a huge fan. He once walked right past me and I got his air, but this movie was awful. And what's even more unfortunate is this movie didn't really give me my John Karsinski fix (even though about half The Office cast was in the film). It was just really bad. Save yourself for something better.

I'm Reed Fish

2007-11-20T23:39:00.001-08:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

Movies that take the time to present the plot in an interesting and creative manner always catches my attention, even if the overall movie is incompetent. Case in point I'm Reed Fish. Now, I really hate dishing on indie flicks because of what and who they represent. The people who write, produce, and act in these films are artistic, liberated, and scrappy. They are the cool, weird people who have what it takes, so I feel really bad when I hate the movie and must report on it.

Staring the relatively unknown Jay Baruchel and former Gilmore girl, Alexis Bledel, I'm Reed Fish is about the do-over. The young Reed Fish inherited his small town, local radio station from his late father, the original Fish. Living a lackluster, monotonal life, his approaching marriage to the town sweetheart leaves him less than enthusiastic, especially when his high school crush, Jill, returns to Mud Meadows and rekindled feelings become apparent.

Reed Fish is living a different person's life. He has no passion and goes through the painful journey of finding himself amidst his already chosen path, and what this film does is take these themes and literally does them over. The film we're watching is actually a movie in a movie. I don't want to give any more away, but the concept is completely innovative and deserves praise. However, the story, itself, is uninspired and dull, yet the gimmick eased the sluggish ache.

Reed Fish, the character, was a little bit slimy, and the girls unremarkable. Now, this may be because my basis is on the "amateur" flick (i.e. the movie about the movie), not the "real" film. The filmmakers may have attempted to make it look novice on purpose, but it isn't enough to show me that they were pursuing that technique. They fail either way.

I don't like I'm Reed Fish, and I'm happy that I'm not him.

Meet The Robinsons

2007-11-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

So does anyone even know what Meet the Robinsons is about? This here, my friends, is another prime example of how movie trailers can't tell you anything. I think I saw the trailer for this animation ten times, and I still didn't know what the heck I was about to watch. Something with a dinosaur that looked very similar to Rex, the plastic dinosaur from Toy Story and a blond kid with Dragonball hair. Doesn't really tell us much does it? Well, that's what the movieGOOMBA is here for! I save you from the flop or turn you on to what's on top. Disney's first animated film independent of Pixar, however, is neither of those.

Meet The Robinsons is about an orphaned boy named Lewis who is gifted with an exceptional knack for inventing. Believing that he can invent a machine to look into his lost infant memories to remember his mom, he begins to create the contraption only to have it stolen by Bowler Hat Guy, the villain from the future. With the help of Wilbur and his "modern" family, the Robinsons, Lewis fights to get his invention back and hopefully gains the chance to "remember" his mother.

Good, clean, fun, this family flick provides the perfect distraction for children whose parents need a few moments to themselves. Other than that, Meet The Robinsons fails miserably in comparison to Disney's other computer-generated hits like Bugs Life, Cars, and Toy Story. It wasn't nearly as clever, nor did it have the wit or comedy that we've come to expect. When the bar is raised, its hard to compete. The story was straight forward and it did evoke the sympathy that is essential in family films of this nature. It was easy for little kids to understand, even with the time-space continuum theory present, and it was colorful and pleasant. I did have a major issue with the whole Oedipus Complex theme that was heavily present throughout the film, but other than that, nothing in Meet The Robinsons made me frustrated; always a good sign.

If you have kids, I'd say that this movie would compliment a family film library nicely. But as a normal, even movie fanatical, adult, I really don't think you need to meet the Robinsons. They aren't that interesting.

Reign Over Me

2007-11-13T19:05:00.000-08:00

4 GOOMBAS

Surprising as it may sound to those of you who know me, it took me a while to realize that I am a perfectionist. I like everything in order and every detail in place. Why? Not because I think its the best way but because I think it's the right way. It can get scary. I organize my DVD's by genre then alphabetical order. I like putting on my sweats and cleaning. I'm like Monica from Friends. Yet once I realized that I'm a perfectionist, it became astonishingly easy to know when I needed to let go.

Don Cheadle stars in the tragic drama, Reign Over Me, with good friend Adam Sandler. A successful dentist living a perfect yet unfullfilled life, Alan Johnson (Cheadle) sees his old and now haggard roommate Charlie Fineman (Sandler) on the streets of New York. Fineman has been lost to society since his wife and three daughters were killed in the September 11 attacks, and when Alan approaches him, Alan is surprised to find that Charlie, his bright, quirky, old friend is no longer all "there." As Alan makes the decision to help and support Charlie through his inner turmoil, he begins to notice that he's just as much of a mess as his friend, and in the end he realizes that Charlie is helping him as much as Alan is helping Charlie.

This film has a lot of class and cinematic style; its thoughtful, full of sorrow, and it focuses on the important things that matter in emotional relationships, like connection and responsiblity. Though both actors are known for their comedic talent, they surprised me with their ability to create such a sympathetic and bleak atmosphere. In some shots, the subject is brought out of focus at a transitional moment, representative of the characters' detachment, either to society or to his family. Reign Over Me is like body language. This movie isn't about what was said. It isn't about how it was said.

Adam Sandler is always a constant surprise. He's done some pretty strange and horrible movies, but his performance in this film is no fluke. He made a perfect, deranged Charlie Fineman

Not as mentally anguishing as you'd expect, Reign Over Me is poignant and hopeful. Although I don't remember actually listening to the song the movie references, this movie tells me that it's all about letting go; letting go of loved ones and friends and letting go of the perfection that he worked so hard at achieving, and that's a powerful message for a control freak like me.

Martian Child

2007-11-06T22:23:00.000-08:00

3 GOOMBAS

"NanooooNanoooo!" shouted the man from outer space. "Welcome to Earth," yelled Will Smith after knocking out the slimy Forth of July alien. "Phone home" whispered the wide-eyed Extra Terrestrial as he pointed to the stars. Space themed movies are great backdrops for creative storytelling. Its a real place with real, endless imaginative possibilities where monstrous creatures, friendly beasts, time travel, and invisibility could exist. Throw my main man John Cusack into the mix, and you might get a decent film, if you're lucky.

However, Martian Child is more Earth-bound. A bit reminiscent of KPAX, Martian Child stars John Cusack, a lonely widower who writes best-selling, space-themed novels. He adopts Dennis, an isolated boy who believes he's from Mars, and while still dealing with his own tragedy, he takes on Dennis' in the hope that Dennis will feel at home for the first time.

This film lacks the typical plot build. It stays at a constant level, and was terribly anti-climatic. In my eyes, John Cusack is always amazing, but he and the Martian had very little chemistry. The writing is ordinary, and the characters are flat. There were some adorable scenes, like Dennis' Martian talk-dance, and Cusack brings a heroic quality to parenthood. But it was a movie that graduated out of Lifetime; possibly entertaining, given the right mood, but just average entertainment.

I'd leave the TV on if this movie were on TBS; maybe buy it on sale, but like most films without a significant plot climax, this film falls in the 3 GOOMBA realm. Martian Child, just okay.

Lars And The Real Girl

2007-10-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

4.5 GOOMBAS

Realness is easy to take for granted. One thinks it's just common sense, but what really makes something "real." Does it have to be tangible? Do you have to see it to believe it; to believe in it? The thing I love the most in this whole wide world is my Cabbage Patch Kid doll, Fifi. I don't talk about her much, but she's quietly sat on my bed for my entire life. I love her like I love nothing else. She's the first thing I reach for when I have a bad day, and the last thing I kiss before I got so sleep. I don't know what compels my fondness for her, and I don't expect anyone to understand. She may not have "life," but she's in my life. So even though she's not real to you, it doesn't matter. She's real to me, and that is what makes something real.

Lars And The Real Girl creatively explores this same concept of love for an inanimate object. A grown man, Lars is an obliviously awkward recluse, yet he is sweet, thoughtful, and kind. He diligently goes to work each morning, and devotedly attends service every Sunday. He is refreshingly naive but has the depth of a thousand year old man. Completely incapable of handling the most simple human interaction, Lars orders an anatomically correct, life-size doll, Bianca; not for sex, but for companionship (both are waiting for marriage). All of sudden, Lars is a new person. He attends parties, makes new friends, and he's the happiest he's ever been. This is what every healthy relationship should do to a person . . . except his girlfriend's a doll.

"How is this movie even watchable?" you ask. Well, obviously Lars is delusional, but that's about all that's wrong with his character. And its heartwarming to see a town that loves Lars so much that its people go out of its way to humor him. Through the duration of the film, Bianca is never shown in the nude, and she is never cast aside like a "thing" that was born from a box. She's treated with respect and decency; just like a person. Because of Lars' love for Bianca, and the town's love for Lars, the rigid, silicone Bianca is full of life and personality. The dry, situational humor makes the pathos of this film bearable, and Ryan Gosling's exceptional acting compels empathy from an audience that may balk at the idea of making room in its heart for loony Lars and his doll.

This movie sends an interesting message about the things we need to do to work out our feelings, and it has so much optimism about people and their ability to embrace and understand the differences in others. This is a good movie. Don't judge it before you see it.

Evening

2007-10-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

Evening is my favorite time of day. Especially in the summer when the heat of the sun yields to the relief of the cool evening breeze. ::sigh:: Evening is the most relaxing time. It's when people are allowed to unwind and take a break from their day's adventures; sometimes sitting on the porch as the sun sets; taking the time to sit and just be. Well, Evening, the movie, is nothing like that. It's plot was jerky and disorienting; flighty and nonsensical.

An impressive cast consisting of Meryl Streep, Claire Danes, Toni Colette, and Glenn Close, to name a few, surprisingly makes for a very disappointing film. On her deathbed, Ann Lord floats in and out of a dream-like state; sometimes to real memories, other times to delusions; all relating to her love affair with Harris Arden. Meanwhile her adult daughters sit and lament over the choices they've made and the life they still have to face.

I give huge kudos to the Director of Photography. There was some great lighting techniques used in this film, and good lighting always makes a film more "legitimate" film. However, lighting can't save horrible storytelling. The only parts that were remotely coherent were Ann's flashbacks to few days before her best friend's wedding. Every other time, I was struggling to follow along; hoping that I would eventually understand why everyone had so much regret. The film did come to a point where I said out loud, "Oh, good, now I can see how . . ." but then the credits started to roll before I could finish my sentence.

There were so many things that this movie did wrong. Does anyone out there understand why Harris is so appealing? I don't even think he's that good looking. Why did he not love Lila, that poor girl. Why did she and Ann lose touch? Why did Ann marry Richard if she loved Harris so much? Oh, and Buddy, poor Buddy. Why was he so messed up? And why was Ann so mean to him? So many questions about a plot shouldn't be generated by a film unless it's Donnie Darko, and at least those are philosophical questions.

Evening ended leaving me frustrated and unamused; nothing like a cool breeze at the end of a long day. More like someone saying that I have to run fifteen more errands directly after work, not being able to go to bed until 1am, and needing wake up at 6am the next morning. Evening was like that, so don't do it to yourself.

Lucky You

2007-10-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

1 GOOMBA

The people who make movie trailers mislead the public, they get people to watch terrible movies, and they have almost sole power over a movie's box office numbers. Make a great movie trailer, and twist the story just so, and boom, you have an audience. Such great power . . . they have to be evil. I wish I was one of them. :) Unfortunately for me (and anyone else who watched this movie for that matter) I was tricked into watching Drew Barrymore's recent "chick flick," Lucky You. Except it wasn't really Drew Barrymore's, and it wasn't really a chick flick. They're liars. Every one of them.

Lucky You is like a wannabe Rounders except bad. It makes poker look boring, and is a sorry excuse for a romantic comedy. It wasn't even a comedy . . . I think?

Huckleberry Cheever is an addicted, professional poker player. Like most compulsive gamblers, his financial situation is always questionable. He owns no possessions because he hawks everything, and his grudge and rivalry with his father, who is also a professional poker player, hinders his ability to play and bet smart. Where in this does Barrymore come in? She's just the naive muse. She's second banana. Huck uses her for money, but, oh surprise, he's actually in love with her.

First of all, Huck had no character. He had no depth to him. He was one dimensional, and his attraction to Billie (Barrymore) wasn't believable. They had absolutely no chemistry. There was no development in their relationship, and it was secondary to the tournament plot. It was literally Huck and Billie sleeping together, Huck stealing her money, and Huck begging for forgiveness. Why in the world does she even like him? Huck's character was poorly written and horribly executed.

Second, they spend WAY too much time explaining the rules of poker. The audience doesn't need to understand ever little minute detail of the game. We're just in it to get that happy-fell-good feeling after watching a chick flick. We don't care how poker works. We get the idea. You don't have to tell me that in 1999 the only person who won the world series of poker with a straight flush was blah blah blah. I don't need to know that Huck's $30,000 raise means that he probably has a poke pair. I don't care. Just give me the gist!

Lastly, this movie was BORING. It wasn't just bad, it made me want to sleep for 48 hours straight.

I'm not going to tell you what to do. You already know how I feel about it. It was bad, so now maybe you'll be spared from this lie that the trailer told you. Lucky you.

Knocked Up

2007-10-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

4 GOOMBAS

Now, I'm pretty sure that this movie could be a 4.5 GOOMBA flick, but I'm not quite sure because I happened to watch a copy that some kooky mom and pop video store in Hawaii hacked up. Ohana Video (which weirdly doubled as a scrapbook supply store) felt like they needed to edit out all "inappropriate" language and scenes from all their DVDs before they rent them out to the public. I guess they don't trust the actual filmmakers and the MPAA to do their own job. Sounds kind of Communistic, if you ask me. So there I was, stuck watching a movie that advertises and prides itself on sexual humor and circumstance, yet all of it was cut out. How did it hold up? Surprisingly, pretty well.

Knocked Up stars former alien and current doctor, Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen, a talented film guru with a fetish for social awkwardness. Heigl plays Alison Scott, an aspiring television personality for E Entertainment while Rogen is Ben Stone, a Canadian illegal immigrant stoner. One night, at a club, both take their drunkenness too far and they hook up for a one night stand. The title should give away the rest.

This movie was a great romantic comedy. The characters were vivid and yet undeniably down-to-earth. They possessed qualities that anyone can relate to despite some ridiculous humor (most of which I'm sure I have not seen yet). Ben is so lovable, even as a pothead. He's genuine and weird, and he kind of has a Lloyd Dobbler thing going for him. He doesn't recoil at the idea of having a baby. He embraces it. He doesn't quite know what to do with himself in the begining, but he tries. Alison is independent and motivated; qualities that most women admire. Yet the idea of her unplanned pregnancy breaks her down, just as it would any other woman under the same circumstances. Women will project themselves into that same situation and crack up because Alison's reaction has so much truth to it that it's funny.

The story was simple, it made me laugh, and it made me go "Awe!" Some sure evidence that I had a winner. Now I just need to go and watch the "real" version to be sure.

Nancy Drew

2007-10-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

As a kid, I never read Judy Blume, The Baby-Sitter's Club, Sweet Valley Twins, or any other over-the-top, girl-centric series. The plots just never struck me as interesting. I did like those cry-fest Lauren McDaniel books whose heroines always had fatal diseases; go figure. Looking back, I do wish I had read the Nancy Drew books, but unfortunately at the time, she seemed to fit into the genre that I really quite despised.

Staring Emma Roberts, niece of Academy Award Winner, Julia Roberts (can you see the resemblance now that I mentioned it?), Nancy Drew is up to her usual sleuthing in this updated film on one of America's favorite teenage detective. Nancy temporarily relocates to sunny California with her father and attempts to uncover the truth behind Dehlia Draycott's mysterious death.

I thought Emma Roberts performance was refreshing and cute, and I also admired how the film took the original novels' vintage feel and projected it into a modern storyline. The blue roadster, the smart suits with the matching hat and shoes, baked goods, and warm wool coats; these are all details that are nostalgic of the 1950's when the original Nancy Drew was most popular, and somehow Nancy still fit.

However, overall, this movie was disappointing. It had the tween formula down; cute boy, cute wardrobe, tame enough adventure, and the adolescent drama, but it was just so absurd. Come on, Nancy Drew defusing a bomb? Working with the local sheriff to solve a case? Bribing record keepers with a blondie (that's a white chocolate brownie to you politically correct folks)? I don't know if Nancy Drew was naive in the books, but she sure was on screen. I couldn't buy it. Agent Cody Banks is one thing. You know that it's absolutely ridiculous, so you just get over it, but the filmmakers portrayed Nancy as someone who is believable, plausible, probably like how she was in the books, but she was so not.

Sorry Emma Roberts, you are not a bad-ass. You're a perfectionist priss. Let your kids watch this movie, but remind them that it is not okay to get involved in dangerous murder mysteries or talking armed burglers out of robbing a bank. I do not recommend this movie for sane adults, even if you're like me and love High School Musical.

SherryBaby

2007-10-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

I love it when titles have a very obvious meaning but with a very deep significance.

SherryBaby stars Maggie Gyllenhaal as Sherry, a struggling, freshly rehabilitated, young mother whose one goal is retain custody of her daughter. Desperate as she is to stay clean during her parole, Sherry becomes an example of how hard it is for women of her means to graduate from the system.

This movie was almost unbearable. It was incredibly difficult to watch, and even harder to see Sherry make poor choice after poor choice despite her intensely genuine intentions. To put it bluntly, Sherry is white trash. She uses sex to get ahead, which isn't very far, and she doesn't posses the skills or the education to clean up. What's heartbreaking is that none of it is her fault. Her parents have thoroughly messed her up, and there's no one who can show her the way. All she can do is try and provide a better life for her daughter. There's no longer any hope for herself.

The title, SherryBaby, is a reference to Sherry's tartness but simultaneously commenting the softness of her love for her daughter.

This movie is stressful and devastating, but Gyllenhaal's performance is a work of art. Watch it as an example of what great acting is.

Pride

2007-09-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

Besides gluttony, pride is my second most favorite deadly sin. For the most part, I don't really understand why it's a sin in the first place. Pride is necessary and integral to lead a fulfilling life. Without it, dignity and self respect are moot. Now, if you're Mr. Darcy, it's a bad thing, but in healthy doses, pride can take you a long way. The title, Pride, is probably an elephant size hint of what the theme of this movie is, but it wasn't any different from any other sport themed film.

Terrance Howard stars as Jim Ellis, the real life swim coach of the Philadelphia Department of Recreation (PDR) swim team. During a time when prejudice was rampant, talented and promising swimmer, Ellis, was unfairly treated during a swim meet, which set the tone for the rest of his life. Years later, unable to find work because of the his skin color, Ellis is sent to clean out PDR prior to its closing. Instead, he takes some inner city kids under his wing and teaches them discipline, integrity, and self respect. Bernie Mac costars.

Pride has the perfect plot formula for a successful sports film, but it lacks in creativity and meaning. The plot moves quickly at the beginning but drags at the end, and the believability in the story was greatly choked by corny acting and poor pace. One minute the kids are unruly, the next they're driven; Terrance Howard is crying, then all of a sudden they're winning meets, Terrance Howard cries again; its pretty awful. Then there was this weird subplot of inner city gang activity and of course the awkward romance storyline.

It is really amazing to know that this story did happen in some form or another, and to this day, Jim Ellis still coaches the PDR swim team. That's dedication. But Pride does not do this real life story justice. Read his biography instead.

The Number 23

2007-09-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

2.3 GOOMBAS

Before I saw this movie, the number 23 only meant Michael Jordan's jersey number. That is thanks to my childhood friend, Sabrina. Jim Carey changed that for me. It's astonishing how I can make the number 23 appear anywhere. It's astonishing how paranoid I am.

Carey stars as an average, ordinary dog catcher, whose wife buys him a thrift-store, self-published, shady novel entitled The Number 23. Slowly, he is drawn into the mysterious story of Detective Fingerling and his many women; a part of him disturbed by his close similarity to the fiendish investigator. 2 In the end, he becomes so consumed by the book, that it begins to consume him. Does he know the killer? Does the killer know him? Did I just tell you who the killer is?

Despite the innovative story concept, it was just a bad movie masked by some cool cinematography and discreet subliminal messages. The Fingerling scenes had a kind of New Age, Film Noir style, with shadowy mis en scene and illuminated characters, and the camera movement is sleek and light-weight. Oh, but the story was appalling! The plot was so stupid . . . and weird . . . And that neck slashing scene was so not necessary. And the ending, don't even get me started on the ending. I'd rant even more about it, but I'd be giving stuff away. Between you and me, waiting to see what happens in the end is the only thing that should keep you watching.

So to all those paranoid numerology freaks out there, spare yourselves. You'll start seeing 23 everywhere. I even got my birthday to make 23. Heck, I am 23. I bet you I could even make this blog somehow be 23. I bet you I even used only 23 out of the 26 letters of the alphabet writing this blog; I bet you I only used 323 words up until HERE. Count them. I dare you! I'm awesome.

The Nanny Diaries

2007-09-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

3 GOOMBAS

Am I the only 23-year-old female who still doesn't consider herself a woman? I'm a kid trapped in a big kid's body. If I told people I was still in high school, would they believe me? Probably. And this is why I'm slightly jealous of Scarlett Johansson. Have you seen her womanly figure in an evening gown? Have you seen paparazzi shots of her well-groomed beauty? She's EXACTLY my age. Actually, she was born one year before me, but no matter. She looks like a woman. A woman gosh darn it. Will I ever grow up to be a woman? "I'm not a girl, but not yet a woman . . ." sing it Brit, sing it! At least in her latest movie, The Nanny Diaries, she looks like a normal 22-year-old, which cushions my complex a little bit.

Johansson stars as recent college grad, Annie Braddock, who is pressured by her mother to pursue a stable and successful business career despite her aspirations of becoming an anthropologist. In order to by some time to figure things out, she takes a nanny job with a posh, Upper East Side family only known as "The X's." Wrongfully assuming this for a cushy job, Annie, AKA "Nanny," finds herself being controlled and manipulated by Mama, Papa, and Baby Terror in this romantic, The Devil Wears Prada-like comedy.

Annie Braddock narrates her experience in retrospect with an anthropological spin. Using this creative way of story-telling, The Nanny Diaries is slightly different from other comedies of this genre. However, outside of that, it's you're average, everyday chick flick. It didn't do anything wrong to make me hate it, but it didn't capture my attention either. The boy accessories, both boyfriend and little tyke, were cute, and some of the situations were funny, but, ::shrug:: eh . . . it was whatever. This makes me sad because it seemed like there was a lot of thought and creativity that went into executing the script, but the characters and the story just weren't good enough. I also don't see how these stories went into any sort of diary she was writing, as she didn't write in a diary. Go figure. Plus the anthropological theme wasn't used enough.

Wait for The Nanny Diaries to go on DVD. It just didn't cut it on the big screen. Maybe it'll be better on the little one.

The Contract

2007-09-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

2 GOOMBAS

The only reason I even knew this movie existed was because I decided to browse the aisle of Hollywood Video. It's so unknown that the promoters didn't even release any movie stills. All I could find was an image of the movie poster. I was hoping that it was one of those diamonds in the rough; a movie only a handful of people have seen but is cinema of the highest caliber. ::shudders:: I was so wrong.

John Cusack and Morgan Freeman star in this tepid thriller, The Contract. Morgan Freeman plays a high ranked, professional assassin. He gets caught following an incident that had nothing to do with the hit. His men make an attempt to free him, but in the process, he is unfortunately lost in a river. Cusack who happens to be on camping trip with his son, rescues Freeman, notices the handcuffs, decides to be a hero, and takes Freeman in 'custody.' Now Freeman's team is after Cusack and his son, and somewhere in there is a two-timer working for another team.

And that's basically it. There's absolutely nothing special about this film. I still don't understand why Ray Keene (Cusack) decided to take responsibility for an at-large murderer with his son in tow. Maybe he wanted to be a good role model for his son. "Do the right thing," he was saying to himself. Or maybe he missed the control he had as a cop, and the small taste of power influenced his decisions. Maybe. But convey that on the screen, filmmakers! A film like this isn't necessarily about the action. It's about the characters, especially considering the amount of dialogue between Freeman and Cusack, so you'd think that the filmmakers would have done a better job establishing character motive and writing a better script. Something that is usually important. You'd think. Plus don't even get me started on that blonde chick who Cusack picks up during their hike, as they're being chased by professional killers.

This was not a good movie.

Oh my John. I still love you even if you do crappy movies. I will still forever be your number one fan.

Blades Of Glory

2007-09-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

2.5 GOOMBAS

I'm going to preface this article by saying that I don't know what a good spoof movie is. I know that Not Another Teen Movie and any Monty Python movie is funny, but other than that, I can't see the line between stupid and funny stupid. So understanding this, I'm writing this article based entirely on opinion alone.

Blades Of Glory stars seasoned comedian Will Ferrell and Napoleon Dynamite's very own John Heder. A parody of the ice skating circuit, bad-boy wannabe Chazz Michael Michaels and rival goodie-goodie, light in his loafers Jimmy MacElroy are banned from singles competition as a result of a rumble. Despite their competitive differences, they pair up as a doubles team when all other female skaters are spoken for.

Will Ferrell and John Heder were ridiculous as usual. Heder plays a surprisingly delightful innocent man-child, and he doesn't look half as gnarly as he usually does. As for Ferrell, I have no comment.

Poking fun at ice skating means zeroing in on some key questions we all ask when we watch profession figure skating:

What are the wearing?
Is he gay?
Just where did he put his hand to lift her exactly?
Why are the commentators so cheesy serious?
Are you sure he's not gay?
Isn't that, like, incest?
I really don't care either way, but is he gay?

With a blunt force, Blades of Glory focuses and answers all of these questions that are too taboo and socially inappropriate. Although funny because of the exaggerated comedy, I thought the majority of it was pretty stupid, and stupid funny movies in my book can never be rated that high. Thankfully, it wasn't gross or blatantly over sexual. That would have pushed it WAY over-the-top. It was colorful and flamboyant, like its characters, and the large number of professional ice skaters and commentator cameos added to the goofiness of this flick.

Of the same genre as Talladega Nights and Anchorman, Blades of Glory isn't one of Ferrell's best. Its a perfect popcorn movie for non-movie snobs, which I am definitely not. Laughing at stupid is not my forte, so if it's not yours either, I'd watch something like more like Zoolander. It's a little more clever in its humor, parody, and outrageousness. Blades of Glory: not worth your time.