the movieGOOMBA

1 GOOMBA

In the mood for something funny? In the mood for some romance? Something cute and tingly? Well, this is not the movie for you. Love Happens, is when love does not happen. Love is not nearby. It is far . . . far far away.

Hypocritical self help celebrity, Burke, works through his dysfunctional issues while trying to kindle a relationship with florist, Eloise.

Jennifer Aniston stars in another flop alongside failed other half, Aaron Eckhart. The plot lagged, the couple had no chemistry, and the story was a complete downer. But above all, Burke was an undesirable man and Eloise was not a good muse. None of Burke's actions seem inspired by anything, especially her. One could argue that Walter, the stoic man's man, who was able to open up after the death of his son, might have stirred a change in Burke, but this is suppose to be a romance, not a "I Love You, Man" flick.

But I'll let you guess, do you think Burke and Eloise end up together in the end? Oh the suspense! And you'll just never know because I've just convinced you to never see it.

I would like to comment on how cute I thought Aniston's wardrobe was, but that aside, this movie gets no love from me.

3 GOOMBAS

4 GOOMBAS

Filmed in France and originally released there in 2006, Hors de prix, or its American title, Priceless, took quite some time to reach the United States. Apparently, its a French adaption of the American classic, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Good thing I didn't know about that fact when I first watched it, or it might have biased my opinion - though I did keep saying to myself how the movie seemed strangely familiar.

This sweet, not so French, film stars Audrey Tautou as Irene, a glamorous, young con artist who manipulates wealthy men into spoiling her. Jean is a shy butler with humble means, and after a classic case of mistaken identities, Jean is smitten by her. When she realizes that he's poor, she still, coldly lets Jean spends every cent of his savings for one evening with his expensive date. After he's stuck with the luxury hotel bill, unable to pay it, and ditched by Irene, a wealthy, older woman happily assumes the cost as long as he becomes her playmate. Now, both at the same level, Irene accepts Jean's friendship and begins teaching him the ways of the wile.

Nothing seemed French about this film, other than the fact that I watched this film with English subtitles. A great story, both characters become equally lovable - though at the beginning, that didn't seem likely. Jean is sensitive and intensely devoted, while Irene is enchanting and ardent past her shallow and materialistic exterior. Their friendship and his devotion were very real and engaging. Priceless was bright and cute, with just that hint of extra class found very rarely in romantic comedies.

I definitely recommend Priceless to anyone who wants to watch a cute movie. Be ready for English subtitles and a gorgeous Audrey Tautou in high fashion clothing. Advice from the movieGOOMBA - this is not a movie to watch when you feel bloated.

3 GOOMBAS

Many people find it hard to use the word "no." Me included. So this concept of having to say "yes" to everything didn't seem like it was too far off from the everyday lives of those yessers. So the Yes Man actually looked pretty lame, especially with the dementedly crazy Jim Carrey as the lead.

Playing a seemingly similar character from a previous role in Liar Liar (a movie the movieGOOMBA does not recommend), Jim Carrey is Carl Allen, a low paid loan officer who possess the gift of saying no. To his own detriment, however, he feels the need to say no to everything, which has turned him into a no-saying recluse. Then, after visiting a seminar on "Yes!" Carl is cast under some type of spell, a la Shallow Hal, and he winds up saying yes to everything, which includes, flying lessons, learning Korean, letting a 70-year-old-neighbor lady have her way with him, and approving any and all loans that make its way onto his desk.

Quite watchable, and vastly better than I could have ever expected, Yes Man was actually a chick flick. Go figure. Zooey Deschanel plays his love interest, and though wide eyed and quite monotone, she has a quality that balances a comedian's zany disposition. She's cute and charming, yet not typical. She makes an excellent foil to Carey's strange mannerisms.

This movie was also quite empowering. It illustrates how carpe diem can change or define a life. Carl became a new man, made new friends, and found happiness.

I thought this was quite a nice, but occasionally disturbing, flick. It is Jim Carrey comedy after all. This ain't no Majestic, but it sure beat my expectations. Say "yes" to the Yes Man.

3 GOOMBAS

1 GOOMBA

3.5 GOOMBAS

In the middle of planning my own wedding, I have realistic expectations. I do not expect my wedding day to explode with flowers that I can't afford or be driven away in a limousine that's too froo-froo for my own good. I do not expect it to be reminiscent of a fairy tale. I do not expect everyone to enjoy it, and I do not expect it to be perfect. But there is one thing I can be pretty sure about. The likelihood of my bridesmaids wearing their dresses again - slim.

What I thought was hilarious about this movie was the running dress-joke. Each bride kept insisting that the bridesmaids could wear their dresses again and again; "all ya have to do is shorten it!" Oh the ideas we brides delude ourselves into believing.

But aside from poking fun at that anal retentive, spoiled monster that can sometimes overcome a normally even tempered, good natured lady, this movie was super cute. There wasn't very much chemistry between Katherine Heigl and James Marsden, but no matter, this movie was about Jane, the girl who took care of everyone except her self. It was never about their relationship. Ironically, it was only about Jane. Selfish, eh?

Heigl and Marsden star in this romantic comedy about a young woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times but can't manage to tell that man she loves how she feels. Same deal-io but her character is a little more entertaining than the usual. The fashion is great, and it had everything you could want from a chick flick.

This one is definitely an Jenn-owner. It's already given me a great idea on how I want to wear my hair when I walk down the aisle. Oh, and one expectation that I am most definitely sure about on my wedding day. I expect to be happy.

3.5 GOOMBAS

Before Sex And The City, shoes were just things you stuck on your feet to keep them from getting dirty. Before Sex And The City, designers were just people who stuck a hefty price tag on their clothing. Before Sex And The City, sex was taboo. But this show, where some closed-minded folk could synonymize it to pornography, was witty, deep, and it revolutionized television.

The four thirty-something women (who are now forty-something) are back, but this time on the silver screen. All four are still wonderfully fabulous and satisfyingly stable in their relationships. Miranda and Steve are married in Brooklyn, Samantha is living it up with Smith in LA, Charlotte and Harry happily dote over their adopted daughter, and Carrie and Big shop for the perfect Manhattan apartment. However, they're still themselves: Samantha, sex crazed as usual; Miranda, cynical even more so than normal; Carrie, adorably mature and sincere; and Charlotte (my favorite) optimistic, naive, and still the lady. Yet, of course, in any happily ever after, there has to be some unhappily in between.

I absolutely loved the show, so of course, I absolutely loved the movie. Oh, and the clothes! The clothes! Lawsie mercy! The glorious clothes! What I wouldn't give to be the Wardrobe Director's assistant. But aside from the clothes, this movie showed the characters's maturity and growth, and it was well told, well written, and well received. These woman are refreshingly imperfect, and they love and lose just like real women, only with a incredibly lavish and ambitious lifestyles. Their friendship is so concrete and visible in their love for one another that it makes me appreciate the girlfriends I have.

I love these woman, their crazy hysterics with men and sex, and their genuine longing for their ever after. However, if you haven't seen any of the show, you wouldn't know what the heck was going on. The key driver for this film is the history of these woman, how far they've come and who they are now. Without knowing any of that, this film is meaningless and seemingly superfiscial. If I had my way, Sex would be 4.5 GOOMBAS, but Sex and the City: The Movie just doesn't stand on its own. Even still, that doesn't stop me from being a fan of these Manolo Blahnik wearing, Prada purse carrying, Dolche dressed, New York women.

3 GOOMBAS

I am so happy that The Office is back with new episodes. After the Gilmore Girls season finale, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was okay for a while. It just seemed like a long summer. Then Heros and The Office came out of hiatus; but my wonderful gleam of excitement was promptly squashed by the unfortunate, but necessary, wirter's strike. I had absolutely nothing to look forward to; nothing at all. No, not even serious, exciting life changes could pull me out of my constant channel flipping stupor. Though, I've had more time to watch movies - but watching Steve Carrell in Dan In Real Life isn't the same as watching pitifully selfish Michael Scott harass his staff.

The trailer for Dan In Real Life was obviously a sales pitch for Steve Carell, the person, not Steve Carell, Dan. Because of his fame from the popular television series and from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, advertisers seem to think that Steve Carell is their best selling point. Rather than sell it as a romantic comedy, which it is, by the way, they pitch it with Carell as a lonely widower who faces the comedic complications of raising three teenage daughters. Quite differently, the meat of the film is about Dan's attempt to control his love for a woman who happens to be his brother's girlfriend.

Patient, protective, pitiful Dan brings his daughters for a long weekend at the shore for an annual family reunion. On his first day, he stops by the bookstore and for the first time in a long time he makes a connection with a woman. However, when he returns to the house to recount his meet cute with the rest of his family, he's shocked to see the woman already there - as his brother's girlfriend.

The quality of this movie was quite surprising. Under the guise of a Tim Allen-like comedy, this movie seemed like it would make a nose dive to the bottom of the bin at the Dollar Tree. Yet it was particularly enjoyable to watch, and I found that the romantic comedy genre suits Carrell. I was taken by his simplicity and earnestness, and I was also completely jealous of his game playing, morning group aerobic exercising, boys vs. girls speed crossword puzzling family. They are totally awesome.

I expect this flick to make it to the small screen sometime in the next year. I also expect TBS to buy the rights to this film fairly quickly. It'll be around soon, so I suggest denying Blockbuster your $5. I think you can stick it out. It's not fantastic, but it'll do. I mean, its real life, so it can't always be good. Sometimes its just okay.

1 GOOMBA

The people who make movie trailers mislead the public, they get people to watch terrible movies, and they have almost sole power over a movie's box office numbers. Make a great movie trailer, and twist the story just so, and boom, you have an audience. Such great power . . . they have to be evil. I wish I was one of them. :) Unfortunately for me (and anyone else who watched this movie for that matter) I was tricked into watching Drew Barrymore's recent "chick flick," Lucky You. Except it wasn't really Drew Barrymore's, and it wasn't really a chick flick. They're liars. Every one of them.

Lucky You is like a wannabe Rounders except bad. It makes poker look boring, and is a sorry excuse for a romantic comedy. It wasn't even a comedy . . . I think?

Huckleberry Cheever is an addicted, professional poker player. Like most compulsive gamblers, his financial situation is always questionable. He owns no possessions because he hawks everything, and his grudge and rivalry with his father, who is also a professional poker player, hinders his ability to play and bet smart. Where in this does Barrymore come in? She's just the naive muse. She's second banana. Huck uses her for money, but, oh surprise, he's actually in love with her.

First of all, Huck had no character. He had no depth to him. He was one dimensional, and his attraction to Billie (Barrymore) wasn't believable. They had absolutely no chemistry. There was no development in their relationship, and it was secondary to the tournament plot. It was literally Huck and Billie sleeping together, Huck stealing her money, and Huck begging for forgiveness. Why in the world does she even like him? Huck's character was poorly written and horribly executed.

Second, they spend WAY too much time explaining the rules of poker. The audience doesn't need to understand ever little minute detail of the game. We're just in it to get that happy-fell-good feeling after watching a chick flick. We don't care how poker works. We get the idea. You don't have to tell me that in 1999 the only person who won the world series of poker with a straight flush was blah blah blah. I don't need to know that Huck's $30,000 raise means that he probably has a poke pair. I don't care. Just give me the gist!

Lastly, this movie was BORING. It wasn't just bad, it made me want to sleep for 48 hours straight.

I'm not going to tell you what to do. You already know how I feel about it. It was bad, so now maybe you'll be spared from this lie that the trailer told you. Lucky you.

4 GOOMBAS

Now, I'm pretty sure that this movie could be a 4.5 GOOMBA flick, but I'm not quite sure because I happened to watch a copy that some kooky mom and pop video store in Hawaii hacked up. Ohana Video (which weirdly doubled as a scrapbook supply store) felt like they needed to edit out all "inappropriate" language and scenes from all their DVDs before they rent them out to the public. I guess they don't trust the actual filmmakers and the MPAA to do their own job. Sounds kind of Communistic, if you ask me. So there I was, stuck watching a movie that advertises and prides itself on sexual humor and circumstance, yet all of it was cut out. How did it hold up? Surprisingly, pretty well.

Knocked Up stars former alien and current doctor, Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen, a talented film guru with a fetish for social awkwardness. Heigl plays Alison Scott, an aspiring television personality for E Entertainment while Rogen is Ben Stone, a Canadian illegal immigrant stoner. One night, at a club, both take their drunkenness too far and they hook up for a one night stand. The title should give away the rest.

This movie was a great romantic comedy. The characters were vivid and yet undeniably down-to-earth. They possessed qualities that anyone can relate to despite some ridiculous humor (most of which I'm sure I have not seen yet). Ben is so lovable, even as a pothead. He's genuine and weird, and he kind of has a Lloyd Dobbler thing going for him. He doesn't recoil at the idea of having a baby. He embraces it. He doesn't quite know what to do with himself in the begining, but he tries. Alison is independent and motivated; qualities that most women admire. Yet the idea of her unplanned pregnancy breaks her down, just as it would any other woman under the same circumstances. Women will project themselves into that same situation and crack up because Alison's reaction has so much truth to it that it's funny.

The story was simple, it made me laugh, and it made me go "Awe!" Some sure evidence that I had a winner. Now I just need to go and watch the "real" version to be sure.

3 GOOMBAS

Am I the only 23-year-old female who still doesn't consider herself a woman? I'm a kid trapped in a big kid's body. If I told people I was still in high school, would they believe me? Probably. And this is why I'm slightly jealous of Scarlett Johansson. Have you seen her womanly figure in an evening gown? Have you seen paparazzi shots of her well-groomed beauty? She's EXACTLY my age. Actually, she was born one year before me, but no matter. She looks like a woman. A woman gosh darn it. Will I ever grow up to be a woman? "I'm not a girl, but not yet a woman . . ." sing it Brit, sing it! At least in her latest movie, The Nanny Diaries, she looks like a normal 22-year-old, which cushions my complex a little bit.

Johansson stars as recent college grad, Annie Braddock, who is pressured by her mother to pursue a stable and successful business career despite her aspirations of becoming an anthropologist. In order to by some time to figure things out, she takes a nanny job with a posh, Upper East Side family only known as "The X's." Wrongfully assuming this for a cushy job, Annie, AKA "Nanny," finds herself being controlled and manipulated by Mama, Papa, and Baby Terror in this romantic, The Devil Wears Prada-like comedy.

Annie Braddock narrates her experience in retrospect with an anthropological spin. Using this creative way of story-telling, The Nanny Diaries is slightly different from other comedies of this genre. However, outside of that, it's you're average, everyday chick flick. It didn't do anything wrong to make me hate it, but it didn't capture my attention either. The boy accessories, both boyfriend and little tyke, were cute, and some of the situations were funny, but, ::shrug:: eh . . . it was whatever. This makes me sad because it seemed like there was a lot of thought and creativity that went into executing the script, but the characters and the story just weren't good enough. I also don't see how these stories went into any sort of diary she was writing, as she didn't write in a diary. Go figure. Plus the anthropological theme wasn't used enough.

Wait for The Nanny Diaries to go on DVD. It just didn't cut it on the big screen. Maybe it'll be better on the little one.

3 GOOMBAS

1 GOOMBA

In five minutes, it was already terrible. In six minutes, I knew that there was no hope. I had heard that this movie was bad. A radio personality said it was like Diane Keaton went to her agent and said, "Look, I need to pay the bills. Star me in a movie with 3 other pretty young girls, and I'll play their mother." It was so bad I fast-forwarded through half of the movie, and the only reason why I fast-forwarded through it was because I wanted to see if Mandy Moore would end up with the cute guy (who I later found out did not look as cute when he took his hat off).

Because I Said So is about a nosy, nagging mother whose only goal in life is to meddle in her youngest daughter's love life. Her two eldest daughters, played by Lauren Graham and Piper Perabo, were already married and settled, so lucky Millie, played by Mandy Moore, got all her mother's attention when it came to her relationships. Mom decides to put a personal ad seeking a "mate for her daughter." Millie is unknowingly set up with tall, dark and handsome Architect, the name not important. Meanwhile, Millie finds herself a Musician, name also not important. Mom pushes for Architect. Millie finds out why. Horrible excuse for a movie. Doesn’t even deserve complete sentences.

Reasons why you don't need to see this film:
- Mandy Moore sings, as she does in every one of her stinking movies.
- Lauren Graham's character is exactly like Loreli Gilmore, just watch her show. It's 100 times better.
- Diane Keaton's signature bangs and "I'll-cover-up-every-inch-of-my-skin-up-except-for-my-cheeks-and-mouth-even-though-I-live-in-Venice-Beach" fashion statement.
- Diane Keaton getting it on
- The men aren't cute enough to be worth it

Please, please spare yourselves. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! Why? Because I said so. Hahahaha. Believe it for not, that line was better than the movie was.

4 GOOMBAS

1.5 GOOMBAS

The people who made the trailer for this movie really needed to do a better job. I saw the trailer and I already knew the ENTIRE plot, with details, of the movie. However, I saw it anyway, and please don't waste your $8.00.

It was my mistake to listen to Roper and his guest critic who both gave it a thumbs up. I just checked the tomato meter, and it's pretty rotten. What were those 19% thinking?! There were so many things wrong with this romantic comedy.

#1: A woman whose fiancé just died would not fall in love with her fiancé’s best friend, a friend who she HATED 3 days following his death. Hello!? You were just sleeping with you fiancé 3 days earlier!!!

#2: A woman whose fiancé just died would not move into her fiancé’s room with his roommates following his death, nor would she sleep with her fiancé’s best friend in her dead fiancé’s bed. That's pretty sick.

#3: Why, oh why, would you decide to become friends with the woman who your fiancé was cheating with?! Maybe a couple of months later . . . not 4 days!!!!

Other than problems with the plot, there was no development of the love between Gray and Fritz. They looked like they just needed someone to sleep with. 0.5 Goombas goes to the cute friend who is secretly in love with Gray, but of course does not win the girl.

Catch and Release . . . I'm defiantly throwing this one back.

1.50 GOOMBAS

I really like Hilary Duff movies (::bows head in shame::). I admit it. I own two of them. But why should I be embarrassed? Probably because all of them exist not for the sake of art, but for the sake of marketing a young, Disney-ized starlet who is currently a hot commodity. Her face in any movie will surely draw in a substantial tween following. Why? Because how can you not like Hilary Duff? She can't act, which probably means that a lot of what comes on screen is herself; goodie-goodie nature, innocent, and sweet. Despite the brain-washing, Mcdonaldized intentions of this movie, should I like Hilary Duff and her cane sugar sweetness? Probably not. Either way, her movies are fun to watch, and I love seeing what she wears.

However, aside from how much I like Hilary Duff, I must say that this movie was pretty bad. Maybe it was meant to be one of those movies like Dumb and Dumberer, where the comedy is so far-fetched and the situations are so absurd that you're not suppose to ask obvious questions like 'Why didn't they have home owners insurance when they burned down their mansion?', 'Why did Tanzie's crush just happen to be wandering the business halls in the middle of the night and Tanzie and Ava didn't ask any questions?', ' Why didn't they call their mother in Egypt?!'. Sadly, it wasn't suppose to be like Dumb and Dumberer. What might explain the poor script and over the top situations would be that this script was originally written for the Olsen twins . . . think 'New York Minute'. Need I say more?

What's funny is even though Hilary was suppose to act like a selfish brat, she still comes out as she does in her other movies. Sweet and nice. She can't act at all. I'm telling you, she has to be like this in real life.

I like Hilary Duff, and the .50 Goomba is for her. The 1 Goomba is for the costume designers, because their clothes were nice to look at and for the cute guys in the movie (another perk, there are always cute guys in her movies). Other than that, this movie was probably a waste of my time, but it is a Hilary Duff movie, so I really didn't expect much.

4.5 GOOMBAS

The 'chick flick' recipe was correct and uninteresting. Sweet girl from 'the sticks' is introduced to new, fast paced, cut throat life. She doesn't fit in. She gets a make over. She does fit in. She changes into a selfish, shallow person. Friends and family are concerned. Boyfriend breaks up with her. She sleeps with new, equally selfish pretty boy. She realizes the wrong of her new ways. She goes back to her old way of life . . . except more stylish and independent.
Sounds pretty boring, but what makes this movie so good is the acting. It transforms this homemade bunt cake recipe into creme brulee.

Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep star as Andy Sachs and Miranda Priestly, but it was Streep who really captivates the movie. Her performance was brilliant. Her role was to be a bitchy demanding boss, but Streep's contribution gave this character depth and dimension. Priestly was a woman demanding and superior with just the right hint of indifference toward those around her, yet so passive aggressive and private. Unlike most antagonists, the viewer doesn't hate her, even though Priestly expects Andy to drop all of her personal plans to bring her the dry cleaning; even though Priestly belittles Andy's clothes, hair, and shoes; even though Priestly expects Andy to find the unpublished copy of Harry Potter or be fired. There's a quality in Streep's portrayal that keeps the audience on the ride with Andy; a kind of sadness in her that only Andy and the audience sees. And for that reason, we do not hate 'the devil' on heels.

Aside from that, if you just want to pop in a movie to look at pretty people, this is the movie for you. The fashion is ridiculously gorgeous. But if you're looking for something with a little more depth, you may be surprised to find that here too.