the movieGOOMBA

2.5 GOOMBAS

Whenever I play the "would you rather" game, very rarely do I hear someone prefer to go blind when faced with the vision verses hearing question. The fact is, if you lose your sense of sight, it seems harder to function "normally." You can't drive, you can't read, you can't watch TV, (Lord, I couldn't watch movies!) and you'd have a hard time just walking. And so, the movie Blindness takes these real dilemmas to the next level. What if the whole world went blind?

Based on the novel by Jose Saramago, Blindness portrays a world suffering from a blindness epidemic. Though curious about the how the disease came to be, like most adequate science fiction films, the cause isn't the point - it's what ensues. Mark Ruffalo stars as doctor fallen victim to the infection and Julienne Moore is his disease immune wife who follows him to quarantine, AKA internment camp. From there, let your pessimistic imagination run wild.

What I found very fascinating was how intense and realistic some of these scenes were. These internment camps became toxic waste dumps. Unable to see, these people couldn't manage to do what we take for granted - knowing how to find the bathroom, how to bath, how to live. And those uninfected are unwilling to care for them. Though under military governance, inside the ward walls is complete and total anarchy; ::shudders:: horrors I don't even want to think about but was forced to watch.

The lighting, in general, is ethereal, unique, and thoroughly thought out. There were also times of complete darkness; symbolic of their utter desperation and civilization's decent into savagery. Blindness also becomes a commentary on society's failure to see how and who people can become when faced with such hardship.

However, somewhere in the middle of this world Blindness created, there were character developments that didn't quite make sense, and relationship that weren't fully construed. Though the world was mesmerizing, its characters were too flawed for me to find empathy. Plus the hope was lost in the ending, a feeling I'm assuming I was suppose to feel at the end. Maybe I just didn't get it, but I'm fairly certain I'm not blind.

1 GOOMBA

. . . and then he could jump through space and time - now we're in London, now we're in France, I can see Rachel Bilson's underpants.

Completely abrupt, haphazard, and crazy, Jumper is a story about David Rice (Hayden Christiansen) and his ability to jump through space - I'm not sure if he can jump through time though. They may not have covered that in the user manual. One day, after being throughly humiliated on the school yard in front of the girl he's crushing on, he falls through a frozen river and is about to drown. Suddenly, he finds himself sopping wet in the middle of the school library. He then realizes that he can go anywhere in the world, which includes a stop over in the middle of a bank vault. As the years pass and he's worked his way up to a luxury apartment, Roland (Samuel L. Jackson), a Jumper Hunter, finds him, and the whirlwind of jumping, running, and electrocuting begins. Somewhere in the mix, David manages to pick up his former childhood sweetheart (Bilson) and meet another Jumper.

Great CG and beautiful destination shots, Jumper is still just a hop, skip, and a jump away from being a zero GOOMBA, a rating I hadn't thought existed before this movie. Poorly acted, cheesy, and continuously dumb, I purposely gave you a thorough synopsis because I know you'll be curious, but don't do it! My synopsis is better! Samuel L. Jackson, a Jumper Hunter - I shouldn't have to say any more.

Aside from plot retardation (like Millie naively following along with no questions asked, or Jackson electrocuting Jumpers just because, or Hayden Christiansen pretending to be a bad ass), the interesting concept for a story was drowned, maimed, and cindered in the span of an agonizing 90 minutes. The movie started out well. I was engaging, and I was curious to see how it would all work out. Then, that great 20 minutes were followed by the introduction of the grown-up David (AKA Christiansen). Throw in the Snakes on a Plane actor, and you've got yourself a flop.

So Jumper is not good. Don't jump!

3.5 GOOMBAS

Were you sitting there, waiting with anticipation for the awesomeness of Transformers? The lights are dimming, the cold theater giving you goosebumps, the previews are starting, you're starting to sit back and relax and then . . . some weird ass movie trailer with no name plays and you see the head of the Statue of Liberty fly into the street. All you get is a date. A freaking date. "What the hell was that?" you ask. Then, you suddenly "Ooooh" with the rest of the audience as you see the name J.J. Abrams appear on the screen.

Brought to you from the obscure mind of TV's Lost producer, Cloverfield is a documentary-style monster movie about a group of young Manhattanites who try and survive the night. It's Rob's going away party, and as the night goes on and the social drama unfolds, an explosion occurs, and the real drama begins. The friends attempt to escape the city, but when the Brooklyn Bridge collapses and Rob decides to find Beth, the girl he loves, the friends find themselves in the middle of the battle between the US army and the thing before they are able to escape.

Let me start out with a disclaimer - I was incredibly nauseous by the end of the movie. I didn’t see anyone throw up, so it couldn’t have been that bad. But whatever you do, don’t sit up in the front!

Shot entirely from the first-person perspective of Hud, Rob’s best friend and the comic relief of the film, with his video camera, Cloverfield has so many great and cutting-edge aspects of a quality film. The main footage has intermittent slices of Beth and Rob’s day at Cooney Island because the movie is actually “taped over” their one perfect and only day together, and that symbolism in itself is already profound. There is no mention of a monster; the characters only react to what’s in front of them with “What the hell is that?!?” No one knows what’s going on, including the audience; the chaos is absolute, and we’re meant to be as completely in the dark as the fated New Yorkers. The suspense is almost unpalatable (almost), and it’s amazing how seamless the story-telling is when it’s a film meant to mimic an unedited home movie. The ending is perfectly poetic; the movie has a subtle way about it and is never quite that over-the-top. I can't help but know that this is how it would all go down if my friends and I were in this same situation.

3 GOOMBAS

One of the most awful scenarios I could ever picture myself in, other than being trapped in an automobile that is quickly being submerged by water, is being the last person alive in an abandoned, urban ghost town during the day and then at night, having to hide myself from intelligent predators who will surely find me. I would never feel safe.

Will Smith explores one of my greatest fears in his new motion picture blockbuster I Am Legend. Based on the 1954 science fiction novel by Richard Matheson, Robert Neville (Will Smith) is the last man living in New York City. In 2008, the measles was re-engineered into the Krippen Virus to work as a cure for cancer; however, it quickly mutated killing 90% of the people on the planet. 1% of the population was completely immune, but the rest became the Infected, people who exhibit primal, vampire-like qualities (sensitivity to UV light; attraction to blood)and blind rage. It was the Infected who killed the rest of the population, leaving Robert Neville, a military virologist, a lone survivor. Haunted by the memory of his family, Robert Neville obsessively searches for the cure; desperately hoping that his family's death won't be in vain.

This movie had so much potential. It set the perfect back story. It possessed perfect plot inertial. It perfectly developed the characters. It startled you in just the right places, and utilized silence in a strong way. Will Smith's performance was excellent, especially considering his lack of costars. His fondness for his dog is precious and simultaneously heart-breaking, and his comedic talent helps alleviate the stark loneliness and semi-realistic terror. The CG made everything feel real (it must have cost a fortune to edit out all the people in New York City). Everything felt legitimate, and it was kind of disturbing. But when the curtain for the last act went up, the perfectly orchestrated film crumbled.

I can pinpoint it to one moment; the introduction of the Ana and Ethan. They were presented very late into the film, creating no time for the audience to bond with them or trust them, and the whole fate/God bit was really out of place. It was inappropriate for these new characters to play such a large part in the ending, especially without any foreshadowing of their existence. Their role in the anti-climatic climax was weird . . . did Ethan even have a speaking part? I can't remember . . . They had such a huge plot responsibility but they were such flat and unimportant characters. They were unsuitable for the entire film, and I blame the film's downfall on their lack of character.

This movie could have been so good, and although I Am Legend and Will Smith may become box office legends, they unfortunately won't make it to AFI's top 100.

4 GOOMBAS

Here, my friends, is the epitome of the Hollywood Blockbuster. Big, flashy, entertaining, and charming, this movie made me remember what it was like to see through the eyes of my 6-year-old self again. How the heck did they make a mere car turn into a friggin' robot right before my eyes?!? Magic of course! And what about the back story behind the Decepticons and Autobots, cheesy? I didn't notice! It was too awesome to notice!!! Nah, I'm not excited about the movie at all . . .

2.5 GOOMBAS

2.5 GOOMBAS

4 GOOMBAS

4 GOOMBAS

Tabula rasa; according to the American Heritage Dictionary, a need or an opportunity to start from the beginning. I learned it in high school as 'clean slate'. John Locke believed that only babies where born with tabula rasa; their minds not yet altered by experiences and outside influence. But what if you could tabula rasa your way through life? If you could wipe your mind clean of all experiences that haunted your past and afflicted your future, would you do it? Luckily, like most adventures that we would rather not face, we can live them vicarious through film.

An incredibly artsy film, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind begins at the end during Clem and Joel's second, first meeting. Jim Carey and Kate Winslet star in this wild film as Joel Barish and Clementine Kruczynski. Joel is boring and dull, while Clementine is crazy and spontaneous (which is already made obvious by her ever changing hair color). They dress exactly opposite, the act exactly opposite, and even their names sound completely opposite. Yet somehow they fall in love. After a bad semi-break up, Clementine, being impulsive, decides to erase Joel from her memories through Dr. Mierzwiak, a specialist who can track the places where certain memories are stored and delete them. Joel, hurt and confused when he finds that Clementine has erased him, decides to go through the procedure as well. However, during the procedure, Joel realizes what he's about to lose.

For the majority of the film, Joel desperately tries to retain some memories of Clem by dragging her to different parts of his brain to hide from the Erasers. There is no need for additional flashbacks or additional commentary because what this film does is illustrate their relationship through literal memory sequences. To us, it seems like Joel and Clem are basically trapped in his brain, running from memory to memory. How Joel and Clementine first met (the first time), how they fought, and what their relationship was really like. Joel had forgotten how good it had been.

Symbolism and lighting plays a huge role in this movie. The color of Clem's hair changes with the time line of their relationship. When they first met it was green, a symbol for youth and vigor, qualities that Joel found attractive in her. Then it turned orange, and Joel began calling Clem 'Tangerine;' orange being a symbol for energy and demand for attention (Joel was also first attracted to her orange sweatshirt). Then during the hard part of their relationship her hair was red, representative of strong and powerful feelings. Other subtle things such as music being played backward as Joel re-lives his memories with Clem. As for the lighting, often times there are spotlights used on Joel and Clem, further evoking the feeling that they are being hunted by the Erasers as fugitives are hunted by the police.

When Clem and Joel meet and fall in love for the second time, this meeting becomes a commentary on the power of attraction and love. The mind cannot fool itself into not loving again. This film has so much wrapped in such a small box. Its just a simple love story, but the way it comes together makes it art.