the movieGOOMBA

1 GOOMBA

In the mood for something funny? In the mood for some romance? Something cute and tingly? Well, this is not the movie for you. Love Happens, is when love does not happen. Love is not nearby. It is far . . . far far away.

Hypocritical self help celebrity, Burke, works through his dysfunctional issues while trying to kindle a relationship with florist, Eloise.

Jennifer Aniston stars in another flop alongside failed other half, Aaron Eckhart. The plot lagged, the couple had no chemistry, and the story was a complete downer. But above all, Burke was an undesirable man and Eloise was not a good muse. None of Burke's actions seem inspired by anything, especially her. One could argue that Walter, the stoic man's man, who was able to open up after the death of his son, might have stirred a change in Burke, but this is suppose to be a romance, not a "I Love You, Man" flick.

But I'll let you guess, do you think Burke and Eloise end up together in the end? Oh the suspense! And you'll just never know because I've just convinced you to never see it.

I would like to comment on how cute I thought Aniston's wardrobe was, but that aside, this movie gets no love from me.

4 GOOMBAS

Filmed in France and originally released there in 2006, Hors de prix, or its American title, Priceless, took quite some time to reach the United States. Apparently, its a French adaption of the American classic, Breakfast at Tiffany's. Good thing I didn't know about that fact when I first watched it, or it might have biased my opinion - though I did keep saying to myself how the movie seemed strangely familiar.

This sweet, not so French, film stars Audrey Tautou as Irene, a glamorous, young con artist who manipulates wealthy men into spoiling her. Jean is a shy butler with humble means, and after a classic case of mistaken identities, Jean is smitten by her. When she realizes that he's poor, she still, coldly lets Jean spends every cent of his savings for one evening with his expensive date. After he's stuck with the luxury hotel bill, unable to pay it, and ditched by Irene, a wealthy, older woman happily assumes the cost as long as he becomes her playmate. Now, both at the same level, Irene accepts Jean's friendship and begins teaching him the ways of the wile.

Nothing seemed French about this film, other than the fact that I watched this film with English subtitles. A great story, both characters become equally lovable - though at the beginning, that didn't seem likely. Jean is sensitive and intensely devoted, while Irene is enchanting and ardent past her shallow and materialistic exterior. Their friendship and his devotion were very real and engaging. Priceless was bright and cute, with just that hint of extra class found very rarely in romantic comedies.

I definitely recommend Priceless to anyone who wants to watch a cute movie. Be ready for English subtitles and a gorgeous Audrey Tautou in high fashion clothing. Advice from the movieGOOMBA - this is not a movie to watch when you feel bloated.

4 GOOMBAS

Shot on the streets of India, Slumdog is full of hope and great story-telling. I was surprised to know that much of this intercrately weaved film was in English, but most of Jamal's youth was told in Hindi. I think that many viewers may find this movie to be eye opening. It isn't everyday that American's sitting in their cushy stadium seating see children living in landfills and fearing organized begging rings. But aside from international awareness, Slumdog is touching and its hero posseses an ironic innocense and unyielding spirit that makes this film unique and touching.

Don't be fooled by the seemingly cheesy premise. I'm guessing that the decision to base it around a game show has something to do with Indian culture in general. India loves light-hearted, sometimes (mostly) corny media (e.g. the Bollywood musical), and I appreciated the thought to add the authentic cultural influence. However, in no way is Slumdog corny.

Slumdog has cinematic style and class - hip but not trendy. Ocassionally, some scenes were shot in documentary style while his happy childhood memories look like nostaligic home movies. It definitely had cinéma vérité influences. The lighting marks each scene's tone, and then, there was the awesome soundtrack filled wth pop music from around the world. And I cannot forget to mention the subtle details in the subtitles, which is telling of the filmmaker's devotion to every component of this film

However, Slumdog's ending isn't as powerful as I hoped it would be, but my only compliant may have little to do with the movie and more to do with how jaded I am. There is remarkable quality found in this film, and it is worth watching - both for its story and for its message.

Sidenote: I thought the young Jamal was absolutely adorable.

3 GOOMBAS

3 GOOMBAS

2 GOOMBAS

P.S. I Love You was advertised as “this year's best romantic comedy” - I can’t help but wonder if that movie critic was on crack. Did he see this movie? What part of having your dead husband leave you post-death, love notes is funny? To whoever wrote that review, you make me angry.

Previous experience has taught me that a fantastic cast does not necessarily equal a quality film. So here is P.S. I Love You, a perfect example, starring Academy Award winners Hilary Swank and Kathy Bates, and former, yet still hunky, Spartan, Gerard Butler. This film follows the life of Holly following the death of her Irish husband Gerry. Before passing, Gerry writes encouraging letters (which are delivered to her throughout the course of the film) to Holly in an attempt to help her cope and begin rebuilding a new life without him.

Simultaneously morbid and romantic, this flick brought on the tears. However, please picture me sobbing as I yell "this movie is so bad!!!" at the TV. Surprisingly, P.S. I Love You prodded the soft spot in my heart and concurrently, promoted irate feelings. Holly is an absolute pest of a character. I have absolutely no idea why Gerry would be in love with her. Second, why in the world did Gerry think that his notes were a good idea? His attempt to help her let go and grieve is completely backward. (Joe, this is not a good idea. You are not allowed to do this.) Some things just need to happen cold turkey. Lastly, the filmmakers' attempt to foster a new love interest is totally insensitive to the intense love story that they've already cultivated and committed to depicting. There's no way the audience will buy any other love story other than that of Holly and Gerry.

Something good I can say about the movie is its ability to evoke heartache. The filmmakers used the brilliant technique of intermingling Holly and Gerry's happy story with Holly's post-Gerry life. This yields the greatest impact to the viewer, as we are able to see/feel what Holly has lost instantly. And when Holly receives a new letter, we are again reminded that loss. P.S. I Love You is in no way a romantic comedy. It did a good job making you feel terribly somber and terribly depressed, and it did great at being just plain terrible.

2.5 GOOMBAS

When I was little, my mom use to own a Board and Care, which is sort of like a nursing home. It was just a normal one-story house with four bed rooms and it housed six elderly “clients.” There was this one 80-year-old man named Manuel. He always wore this bright yellow baseball cap and loved to walk around the house in a speedy-like manner. He never had a destination. He just liked to keep moving. Unfortunately, I didn’t really get to know him because he didn’t really understand who or what I was. He had Alzheimer’s disease, and because he loved to walk, he’d sometimes make a break for it; he’d leave the house, wander the streets, and sadly, get lost. As a kid, I just assumed that this was what came with getting old; memory loss, but as I got older I started to understand the magnitude of that loss.

Unlike The Notebook’s sappy interpretation of Alzheimer's mercilessness, Away From Her brings humanity and reality to the disease. Staring a very classy Julie Christie and television actor, Gorden Pinset, Fiona and Grant are an older couple still terribly in love. Tragically, Fiona is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and she makes the decision to move into a nursing home for those in her condition. However, the nursing home’s policy is that residents have no visitors or phone calls for 30 days. For Grant, that was the tipping point. He didn’t want her there, let alone be away from her for more than a few days. Fiona is persistent with her decision, and Grant grudging leaves her there. Sadly, when Grant returns on the 31st day, Fiona no longer remembers him and has formed a new bond with another resident.

As much as I felt the love between Grant and Fiona, the movie had mixed messages. It illustrated all the sanctity of love and devotion, yet showed where how it faltered. He loves her and would give her anything that would make her happy, but he wasn't always faithful. There was a nurse who befriends Grant during his loneliness, yet at times belittles him. There's this woman who Grant starts hanging out with, and she despises him and is whole-heartedly rude to him. Yet the next thing you know, she asks him out on a date. All the while, Fiona is in this nursing home because she doesn't think her husband could handle taking care of her, but the effect of being apart is causing more stress to Grant and no real help to Fiona's health. (Don't worry folks; no spoilers here. All this stuff is in the trailer). There is a very real possibility that the filmmakers were going for a human flaw theme, which is entirely feasible. However, these contradicting situations, left me frustrated, let down, and miserable. Lastly, I think the ending was suppose to be hopeful, but with all the happenings, it just sort of left me uneasy and nervous about my future as a senior citizen.

2.5 GOOMBAS

5 GOOMBAS

This movie was sitting in front of my DVD player for a month before I got around to watching it. No, I take that back. It sat around my house for a month in the red envelope, and I finally sent it back because I decided I wasn't going to watch it. Then, it was nominated for an Academy Award, and because I promised my Number 1 Fan that I would do my Oscar picks for 2008, I had to re-request it from Netflix. Then it lay on my floor for two weeks; intermittently placed in the actually DVD slot and then taken out again after deciding that I actually wanted to watch something else. If I had known what a perfect movie this was going to be, two months earlier, my life would have been just a little bit better.

Described as a contemporary musical, Once isn't of the traditional genre where the actors spontaneously break out into song and dance. Its a story of a lonely street performer who meets a girl as she sells flowers on the street. Within a week, they casually begin writing and composing music together, and though brief, their encounter leads to an intense connection grounded in music.

This film is so simple, in both its story and its characters, but the anonymity and relatability of the their relationship, with each other and the audience, highlights their passion and makes this film and their love story great. Shot on the streets of Dublin, and filmed on hand held cameras, Once left a huge lump in the deepest part of my throat. Along the sames lines as Before Sunrise (and the sequel, Before Sunset), Once is about more than what's just what's on the screen. The longing and hope that's present in the music and in the characters is subtle and stylistically raw at first, and then it gradually builds to something elegant and beautiful; a kind of tragic optomism. Their encounter is short but meaningful, and meeting for mere moments, changed them forever.

Once is a film for the refined palate, but I could be wrong. This film is pretty powerful. The romantics and audiophiles will see past its rough cinèma vèritè style and the dragging sort of plot, and others will see themselves in these characters. Either way, its definitely worth a watch, even if you end up hating it (though that would break my heart). I still stand by my 5 GOOMBAS; you're deprived if you don't see it just once.

1 GOOMBAS

I promise, I've watched better movies than this one this week, but this one was so terrible, it'll be easy for me to get out there quick.

2 GOOMBAS

Evening is my favorite time of day. Especially in the summer when the heat of the sun yields to the relief of the cool evening breeze. ::sigh:: Evening is the most relaxing time. It's when people are allowed to unwind and take a break from their day's adventures; sometimes sitting on the porch as the sun sets; taking the time to sit and just be. Well, Evening, the movie, is nothing like that. It's plot was jerky and disorienting; flighty and nonsensical.

An impressive cast consisting of Meryl Streep, Claire Danes, Toni Colette, and Glenn Close, to name a few, surprisingly makes for a very disappointing film. On her deathbed, Ann Lord floats in and out of a dream-like state; sometimes to real memories, other times to delusions; all relating to her love affair with Harris Arden. Meanwhile her adult daughters sit and lament over the choices they've made and the life they still have to face.

I give huge kudos to the Director of Photography. There was some great lighting techniques used in this film, and good lighting always makes a film more "legitimate" film. However, lighting can't save horrible storytelling. The only parts that were remotely coherent were Ann's flashbacks to few days before her best friend's wedding. Every other time, I was struggling to follow along; hoping that I would eventually understand why everyone had so much regret. The film did come to a point where I said out loud, "Oh, good, now I can see how . . ." but then the credits started to roll before I could finish my sentence.

There were so many things that this movie did wrong. Does anyone out there understand why Harris is so appealing? I don't even think he's that good looking. Why did he not love Lila, that poor girl. Why did she and Ann lose touch? Why did Ann marry Richard if she loved Harris so much? Oh, and Buddy, poor Buddy. Why was he so messed up? And why was Ann so mean to him? So many questions about a plot shouldn't be generated by a film unless it's Donnie Darko, and at least those are philosophical questions.

Evening ended leaving me frustrated and unamused; nothing like a cool breeze at the end of a long day. More like someone saying that I have to run fifteen more errands directly after work, not being able to go to bed until 1am, and needing wake up at 6am the next morning. Evening was like that, so don't do it to yourself.

4 GOOMBAS

Now, I'm pretty sure that this movie could be a 4.5 GOOMBA flick, but I'm not quite sure because I happened to watch a copy that some kooky mom and pop video store in Hawaii hacked up. Ohana Video (which weirdly doubled as a scrapbook supply store) felt like they needed to edit out all "inappropriate" language and scenes from all their DVDs before they rent them out to the public. I guess they don't trust the actual filmmakers and the MPAA to do their own job. Sounds kind of Communistic, if you ask me. So there I was, stuck watching a movie that advertises and prides itself on sexual humor and circumstance, yet all of it was cut out. How did it hold up? Surprisingly, pretty well.

Knocked Up stars former alien and current doctor, Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen, a talented film guru with a fetish for social awkwardness. Heigl plays Alison Scott, an aspiring television personality for E Entertainment while Rogen is Ben Stone, a Canadian illegal immigrant stoner. One night, at a club, both take their drunkenness too far and they hook up for a one night stand. The title should give away the rest.

This movie was a great romantic comedy. The characters were vivid and yet undeniably down-to-earth. They possessed qualities that anyone can relate to despite some ridiculous humor (most of which I'm sure I have not seen yet). Ben is so lovable, even as a pothead. He's genuine and weird, and he kind of has a Lloyd Dobbler thing going for him. He doesn't recoil at the idea of having a baby. He embraces it. He doesn't quite know what to do with himself in the begining, but he tries. Alison is independent and motivated; qualities that most women admire. Yet the idea of her unplanned pregnancy breaks her down, just as it would any other woman under the same circumstances. Women will project themselves into that same situation and crack up because Alison's reaction has so much truth to it that it's funny.

The story was simple, it made me laugh, and it made me go "Awe!" Some sure evidence that I had a winner. Now I just need to go and watch the "real" version to be sure.

4 GOOMBAS

3 GOOMBAS

3 GOOMBAS

2.5 GOOMBAS

4 GOOMBAS

1.5 GOOMBAS

The people who made the trailer for this movie really needed to do a better job. I saw the trailer and I already knew the ENTIRE plot, with details, of the movie. However, I saw it anyway, and please don't waste your $8.00.

It was my mistake to listen to Roper and his guest critic who both gave it a thumbs up. I just checked the tomato meter, and it's pretty rotten. What were those 19% thinking?! There were so many things wrong with this romantic comedy.

#1: A woman whose fiancé just died would not fall in love with her fiancé’s best friend, a friend who she HATED 3 days following his death. Hello!? You were just sleeping with you fiancé 3 days earlier!!!

#2: A woman whose fiancé just died would not move into her fiancé’s room with his roommates following his death, nor would she sleep with her fiancé’s best friend in her dead fiancé’s bed. That's pretty sick.

#3: Why, oh why, would you decide to become friends with the woman who your fiancé was cheating with?! Maybe a couple of months later . . . not 4 days!!!!

Other than problems with the plot, there was no development of the love between Gray and Fritz. They looked like they just needed someone to sleep with. 0.5 Goombas goes to the cute friend who is secretly in love with Gray, but of course does not win the girl.

Catch and Release . . . I'm defiantly throwing this one back.

4 GOOMBAS

As a kid, I thought dandelions were the coolest things. They grew all over my yard and when they were moved, the little seed umbrellas let go and danced in the wind. But in reality dandelions are weeds, and the kind of dandelions that are white and have seed umbrellas . . . those dandelions are dead.

A perfect title for this film, Dandelion evokes those same conflicted feelings of innocense and the realities of life. Mason Mullich is a teen whose personality is indifference, and he often daydreams about committing suicide. He is later blamed for manslaughter, a crime he did not commit, but instead of turning in the real culprit, he remains silent. For two years he remains in a juvenile delinquent center, and once he is free, he is a different person.

So subtle was this change that you forget that he wasn't like this when he left. It starts with warm comments that he says to his alcoholic mother; a fishing trip with his dad. And of course, he falls in love. This innocent love makes him realize that there is love in his dysfunctional family. There is love in his non-existent town and his drug addict friends. But of course, this innocent love is taken away. Yet despite a tragedy, he manages to see that love for what it was, just love. Not tragedy.

Although the tone of this film was slow at times, it added to the movie's character. You can't have a normal paced movie set in a place that was all river, rolling hills, tall grass, and absolutely nothing to do but park your truck out in a field and drink beer. The setting was beautiful and poignant, and the slow pace enhanced the simplicity of this place and this story. Poetic realism in its finest.

Just like dandelions were in childhood innocence, death does not have to be the end; just a beginning somewhere else.