Tuesday, December 16, 2008
3 GOOMBAS
Drug addicts of the world, you no longer have a need to take acid. I have found you an alternative. What you need is a DVD player and a copy of Speed Racer, the latest concoction presented by the Wachowski Brothers!
Based on the 1960's Japanese anime series of the same title, Speed Racer stars Emile Hirsch stars as Speed, the world's leading rookie race car driver. Walking in his brother's footsteps, Speed strives to be the best, but when an evil conglomerat, Royalton Industries, tries to recruit him as their new fresh face, Speed finds that refusing their offer doesn't make for such a smooth ride.
Speed Racer is a total visual mind trip. Overwhelming color, anti-gravitational effects, and a motif that's trapped between a cartoon and reality are all trademarks of this latest family flick. It will take about 30 minutes for you to get use to the sheer absurdity of what mostly looks like streaks across the screen, but once you've crossed the overwhelmingness of it all, it's good, fast fun from then on out. Completly jubullant and entertaining, Speed Racer is crazy and surreal. Tim Burton, eat your heart out. I throughly enjoyed the ridiculous, 360 degree, sideway flips the cars would do, and I thought the kiddy action out-weighed any unrealistic tendencies that this film seemed to focus on. There were chase scenes, fight scenes, explosions, and weapons that gave this film a intersting edge, and I think it was something that only the Wachoski Brothers could make cool.
My only two complaints are as follows: first, there is the story of Speed's dead brother. The closure to this piece of the puzzle was lame, and though this film in its entirety can be argued as lame, this part was exhaustively lame. Second, as much as I adore Matthew Fox, he sucks as a baddass, let alone as a supposedly intimidating 'Racer X.'
Speed Racer takes stamina and a little bit of courage. However, in the end, it was quite enjoyable. Sometimes people need a little speed.
Christina Ricci, Susan Surandon, and John Goodman also star.
Monday, December 15, 2008
1 GOOMBA
Dance is such a great form of expression, and it's such a great skill to have. People are always impressed if you know how to do any kind of dance, but there are some kinds that I can't find the appreciation for. For instance, I go to a religous conference every few years, and every time I go, they always have these expressionist dancers that I find distracting. I dare say that its kind of corny (God is going to shoot lightning at me now). But ribbon twirler's aside, I also didn't enjoy watching the "street" dancing that Step Up 2 the Streets exposèd.
Back at Maryland School of the Art (MSA), Andie West finds herself in a whole new world. A part of a local gang of street dancers, 4-1-0, Andie has become a common hooligan. So Andie's aunt sends her to MSA school in hopes that she can get her act together and go to college. Of course, her first few months at the art school are rough. She doesn't fit in, and her style of dance is considered beneath the schools standards. With the help of another student (who also happens to be the brother of MSA's school director) Andie finds herself expanding the school's idea of art and finding the confidence to battle at The Streets.
I don't normally care about how bad a dance movie's plot is or how cheesy the love story is - as long as the dancing is good. However, I must say that this was probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a very long time. It's "step up" from Fool's Gold, but still some kind of awful. First, its a sequel - but a Bring it On kind of sequel. Nothing new. Just a regurgitated plot and a new 'villian' to beat. Second, the dancing was so jerky. You know that dude the Britney Spears cheated on Justin with; Wade Robson? I'm sure he's suppose to be an excellent dancer, but something just seems so stiff about the way he dances. Same with the moves in this movie. If that's what street dancing is suppose to be, I'm not a fan. Third, yes the end 'battle' was insanely (in a good way) choreographed, but seriously, the rain and the conspicuous stage lighting? If this movie was suppose mimic street culture, the street is a glamorous place.
There's an energy that draws audiences to see attractive youth and sex with clothes, but I warn you not to succumb to what you may think is a guilty pleasure. So I digress into song: Skip this movie. Skip it, skip it, skippin' and a screamin' and a bop-d-bop. Skip it, skip it, this jingle is a better than the flick hop hop.
Sidenote: Channing Tatum makes a brief appearance as his original character Tyler Gage.
Sidenote: We have a whole lot to look forward to. They're making a thrid movie, Step Up 3: The Pace. Whopp-de-doo.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
4.5 GOOMBAS
When I was a kid, I always wondered what my teachers were like outside the classroom. Though I now realize that teachers are just normal people, like you and me, I still wonder about those older teachers; the ones with strange classroom ticks; the ones who dress frumpy, but are always in a coat and tie; the ones who don't ever seem to really enjoy spreading knowledge to the next generation. What do they go home to everyday?
Walter Vale is a white, east coast, university professor with no personality. He's silently pompous, quiet, and introverted. Sent to New York for a conference, he finds that two immigrants have been living in his New York apartment, his second home. Due to his loneliness, or his curiosity, he asks the couple to stay even though they insist on leaving, and from that moment, he forms a connection with these perfect strangers.
The Visitor is whole-heartedly the saddest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. There is a subtle, quiet but unbearable hopelessness in this film that is not obvious or apparent. Its not emotional or somber. But it's so real, and that's what makes The Visitor so tragic. Despite his conservative, white collared background, Walter becomes enthralled with the African drum that Tarek, one of his visitors, plays professionally. Through percussion music and new friendships, he acutally begins living. But then we are struck with how quickly life can be taken away, and Walter, once again, must go at it alone.
This film examines the conventional definition of 'visitor' and prompts the question, "am I a visitor in my own life?" This movie, is so much and so simple. I highly recommend this independent film, and I wouldn't be surprised to see it nominated for an Oscar.
Monday, December 01, 2008
3 GOOMBAS
There are benefits and costs for everything in life. In exchange for privacy, celebrities get to be rich and famous. In exchange for more free time and a social life, high ranking executives have power. In exchange for normalcy, super heros have super power. And us normal people wonder why they complain when they've been given a gift, but we fail to realize we have the gift.
John Hancock is a down-and-out, alcoholic bum, who also happens to have super powers. He is the only one of his kind, and because of this, he squanders his powers but often saves lives in unconventional, sometimes humiliating, and inconsiderate ways. His low-life personality and actions make him unfavorable with the public. Yet he somehow manages to garner the pity of the city's Public Relations Representative, Ray Embrey. With his help, Hancock is helped back on his feet, but it becomes apparent that there is more to Hancock's past than even Hancock thought.
A super-powered cast including Will Smith and Academy Award winning actress, Charlize Theron, Hancock had some high points. It had great special effects, exciting action scenes, a good leading actor, and it's just kind of an out-of-the-box concept.
But Hancock was a strange mixture of pathos and comedy. Thankfully, it was more serious than comedic, but this particular combination made aspects of this film feel seem childish and out of place; almost like a Spy Kids movie gone wrong. Yes, it is funny when Hancock throws the whale out into the ocean, and hits the sailboat by mistake. Yes, its funny that Hancock drunk flies. However, poking fun at his difficienceies but to try and simulteanously show that Hancock is a deeply tragic, lonely, and pathetic man gave me an 'off' kind of feeling - almost like I was being chastised for laughing at him in the first place. Plus, it jumped the shark when we found out the real foundations of Hancock's power. It was that point that I officially changed the label for this movie from "action comedy" to "low ranking family flick."
So, in summary, I had some problems with the overall plot strategy; however, everything else was okay. Hancock was great to watch over the Thanksgiving weekend, and it's perfect for a multi-generalition audience, so its both Grandparent and kid friendly. But I still like my super heros tragic and bad-ass. If they're going to be comedians, they need to been in a cartoon.
SPOILER ALERT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must digress here to rant a little bit about the whole Will Smith and Charlize Theron relationship.
1.) They have no on-screen chemistry.
2.) If they were suppose to be together since the beginning of time, how were they able to overcome the time of slavery and racist oppresion?
3.) What gives Mary (Theron) the right to give Hancock crap for the way he handles his super hero role, when she hides her powers and leaves the world to rot?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
3 GOOMBAS
Every day, I am shocked by the cynicism and negative energy that surrounds my every day life. College friends and church youth groups didn't prepare me for the lasting anger and sarcasm that I face at work, in the car, or when surrounded by crazed holiday shoppers. Often, optimism, cheeriness and an overall positive attitude is labled "naive" or "gullible." Isn't that sad? Pollyanna and her 'glad game' would have freakin' roasted in this kind of environment. And with that, I belive that excitement for the modern day fairy tale is dead. Happy, feel good movies about love are labled "chick flicks." Romance films, cheesy. So what luck does a movie like Penelope have against a skeptic majority?
Magical and lovely, Penelope (Christina Ricci) is a girl born with a cursed nose. The only way to break the spell is if "one of her own," a blue blood like herself, accepts her as she is. So, when she turned 18, her family began the search for a suitor to fall in love and marry her. When man after man is appalled by her appearance, she loses all hope on love. Penelope becomes an unbeliever, yet she is unaware that her insight and charm inspire, especially the scruffy, yet handsome, Max Campion (James McAvoy).
Produced by Reese Witherspoon, Penelope is vividly colored, sweet, and bold. Though I'm often turned off by Christina Ricci's whiny voice and distracting forehead, she blossoms in this role as a snout-nosed, yet charming, socialite. Her chemistry with on screen hotty, James McAvoy, is swoon worthy, though I'm almost positive that McAvoy could have on-screen chemistry with even a cold potatoe. I also must say that The Nose grew on me. As the film wore on, I became quite fond of The Nose. The make up artists did a good job keeping Ricci's pleasant features and making The Nose cute but ugly all the same.
Penelope is magical, optomistic and delicate, and it crosses genre boundaries that enable it to reach larger audiences; however these larger audiences aren't watching.
Lacking anything distinguishing except for maybe its whimsical cinematography and, of course, The Nose, Penelope doesn't have an audience. So, it attempts to entertain the female watchers and no one else. The curse idea is too weird for general viewers to accept, and it's main theme of social acceptance is overshadowed by the romance (purposely, I'm sure), which marks this movie eternally as a chick flick. Character-titled, Penelope is about the girl, not the love story, but the filmmakers worked the love angle a little too much and unique Penelope lost to the stability of a romance plot line; all because the modern day fairy tale is dead. It could have been so good.
I like Penelope, but it lacks the cinematic openess to become something more than a TBS "Movies and a Make-Over" flick. Look for it there in 2010.
Similar movies that I would also recommend: Edward Sissorhands and Princess Bride.
Friday, November 21, 2008
1 GOOMBA
No!
Friday, November 14, 2008
3 GOOMBAS
By the age of 10, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson, Steven Siegal, and Arnold frequented my living room television set on a regular basis. The MPAA film rating system didn't really mean much to my parents. I'm not sure why, but I turned ok - I think. But for my parents, when it comes to big knives, big guns, big explosions, and testosterone packed, big muscled action, Rambo is usually the only answer. With my parents, I've watched Rambo hung by his arms and dipped into a murky pool filled with leeches; I've watched him struggle with a civilian lifestyle, and now, after the character's self-titled return, I've watched how plastic surgery can turn even Rambo, into a transvestite.
Still haunted by his own deamons, Rambo lives in the rural, polically unstable region of Thailand where he makes a living by driving a boat up and down river. A self-imposed social outcast, Rambo is asked by a group of humanitarians to be ferried through dangerous Burma territory so they can help a terrorized villiage who needs their medical attention. On their mission, they are, of course, captured by corrupt, militant agressors, and a squad of paid militia are sent to rescue them. Then, the militia get their butts kicked. So who comes to save them? You go it - Rambo.
Even though this movie has everything against it (aging hero, lack of creativity, corny plot), I couldn't help but enjoy sitting through it. There are some ridculously over-the-top dismemberment scenes with equally over-the-top computer generated blood; there is a strange protective energy that seems to draw Rambo to a young blonde woman, and it doesn't quite make too much sense (Is it sexual tension? Is it paternal?); And there is the strange ending where he's seen walking toward his parent's ranch home in Arizona. Somehow, I don't think a 60-year-old man going to get the same homecoming as a 20-year-old boy. Yet, despite all that, it was fun as hell to watch.
Totally entertaining with shooting scenes galore,
Rambo survives the battle between the film industry's greed verses the film's creative intention. As a character, Rambo is kept true to his original form, at least so far - apparently there's going to be a
Rambo V. We'll see if Rambo can survive the war too.
3 GOOMBAS 
1 GOOMBA
4.5 GOOMBAS
3 GOOMBAS
3 GOOMBAS
1 GOOMBA
3 GOOMBAS