Unaccompanied Minors
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
1 GOOMBA
I have a confession, but you have to promise not to tell . . . I not only love all teen 80's movies, but I have to watch every single pre-teen flick that comes out on DVD. Even the awful ones, which brings me to Unaccompanied Minors. I need help. I need rehabilitation, especially after watching this Christmas flop. I think it was even worse than Arnold's 1996 holiday, I'd rather be put out of my misery than watch movie, Jingle All The Way.
Why is it so bad? It's corny, over-acted, and definitely not heart-warming. Think Home Alone meets The Breakfast Club meets the dollar bin at Walmart. Usually, I like to cut kid actors some slack when it comes to the maturity of their acting, but I felt like some of these kids were trying too hard to be funny and ended up acting like Jim Carrey with A.D.D. The illiterate could have written a better plot, and even though it is a Christmas movie, which automatically grants extra cheese leeway, the authority vs. kids toboggan chase and the corn oil fueled car were WAY over-the-top. Not to mention that on Christmas morning the ENTIRE airport is in deep R.E.M. and only wake up when the kids ring the bells. ::rolls eyes:: Should I even bother telling you what this movie is about? I guess so, just in case you're curious.
Unaccompanied Minors begins on Christmas Eve when five kids are stuck at the airport due to a blizzard. Hundreds of minors are forced together in a large room since they are underage, and five teens create an unlikely alliance against the airport authority (AKA the Gestapo) to break out and save Christmas for themselves and for those stuck in the terminals. In case this helps, Wilmer Valderrama also stars in this holiday bust.
Don't see this movie. You'll thank me, I promise. I will understand if you are dragged into it by a 12 year old you associate with. After all, you don't want your minor to watch it unaccompanied. Someone has to be there to explain that, though glorified in the film, Hummers are still bad for the environment and no, it isn't safe to toboggan in a canoe.