27 Dresses

Monday, June 23, 2008


In the middle of planning my own wedding, I have realistic expectations. I do not expect my wedding day to explode with flowers that I can't afford or be driven away in a limousine that's too froo-froo for my own good. I do not expect it to be reminiscent of a fairy tale. I do not expect everyone to enjoy it, and I do not expect it to be perfect. But there is one thing I can be pretty sure about. The likelihood of my bridesmaids wearing their dresses again - slim.

What I thought was hilarious about this movie was the running dress-joke. Each bride kept insisting that the bridesmaids could wear their dresses again and again; "all ya have to do is shorten it!" Oh the ideas we brides delude ourselves into believing.

But aside from poking fun at that anal retentive, spoiled monster that can sometimes overcome a normally even tempered, good natured lady, this movie was super cute. There wasn't very much chemistry between Katherine Heigl and James Marsden, but no matter, this movie was about Jane, the girl who took care of everyone except her self. It was never about their relationship. Ironically, it was only about Jane. Selfish, eh?

Heigl and Marsden star in this romantic comedy about a young woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times but can't manage to tell that man she loves how she feels. Same deal-io but her character is a little more entertaining than the usual. The fashion is great, and it had everything you could want from a chick flick.

This one is definitely an Jenn-owner. It's already given me a great idea on how I want to wear my hair when I walk down the aisle. Oh, and one expectation that I am most definitely sure about on my wedding day. I expect to be happy.

Movie Review by Jenn Bollish at 8:13 PM 2 comments  

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

Monday, June 16, 2008

It was just about a year ago when I was perusing cnn.com and I stumbled across a link to a streaming video of latest "evidence" supporting the existing of the Loch Ness Monster. Now, I'm not exactly a scholar of good old Nessy, but that video sure as heck gave me a weird feeling. What lives below the water already creeps me out, and to have an unidentified, supposed giant animal in the lake's depths gives me the heebie jeebies. Strangely, it's also kind of cool. It opens up this huge array of imaginative ideas, and it's representative of how the unknown can draws us in.

So The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep. A family film set in Scotland during World War II. Young Angus finds a strange rock out on the shore, and once its found, it hatches into a water horse. As the fable goes, there can only be one water horse in the world at a time, and once its born, it begins to depend on Angus for food and friendship. Eventually, the monster gets too large for the bath tub, and Angus is forced to move it to the lake for more room and food.

There's quite a serious side-plot with the war and Angus's father, and I can't help but sense a kind of abandonment from reality. You know Narnia? Kind of like that. The children are in this horrendous situation, and they venture to a different world where they're not orphans, they're the royal family. Or remember that one Buffy episode where she wakes up and she's actually in a mental institution suffering from schizophrenia and her alternate reality is at Sunnydale/the Hell Mouth? I kind of got that same sense from this film and I thought it was worth mentioning.

The CG was pretty great. Crusoe, the water horse pet, was pretty darn cute as a cub, and it acted as real as a monster could act in my opinion. But I say boo to the story and boo to the Free Willy reenactment. This movie fails as family film. It was sad and kind of shallow as far as character and plot development go. I can't recommend it, and it certainly won't come back as a classic.

Movie Review by Jenn Bollish at 7:25 PM 0 comments  

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Friday, June 13, 2008


At 2am, on a drive from San Diego to Laughlin, I was convinced that I had seen a flying saucer. Yes, I may have been delirious with sleep deprivation. Yes, I may have had too much sugar. And yes, I am me, but I swear to you, I had seen a UFO. Aliens do tend to inhabit the science fiction genre of film, with an emphasis on fiction, but aliens seem like a very real concept to me. How arrogant are we, the human race, to believe that we are the only living beings in this vast an infinite universe? Yet mixing this concept with an old school adventure flick seems just wrong; even under the supervision of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

Resurrecting the classic adventures of Indiana Jones, new kid on the block, Shia Labeouf, joins blockbuster veteran, Harrison Ford in the fourth installment of the series, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Still out for an ass kicking, Indie finds himself kidnapped by Russian Nazi leader, Colonel Dr Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) so he can locate a a highly magnetic crystal skull in an endless warehouse of top secret plunder. He escapes, following a very strange incident involving a refridgerator and a nuclear bomb, and winds up helping a kid find his mother and return the crystal skull.

Now, I applaud Spielberg and Lucas for maintaining the original tone of the series (cheesy, yet adventurous, in the ancient-jungle-oriented, 50's period film kind of way) despite the modern-minded, cell phone ridden audience. It actually worked quite nicely. Even the camera work evoked that nostalgic sense of old-time story-telling. However, the gimic, aliens, was absolutely preposterous. It ruined the ancient, treasure hunting feeling and replaced it with weird, futuristic folklore. These two ideas did not mesh well, and in my opinion, was the downfall of the entire film. Indiana is about ancient, forgotten treasure and a romance forged by faith in its existence, not science and neo-centric notions.

Not to mention how poorly the story was told. I didn't understand how the brain-washed anthropologist fit into the whole plot line, nor do I understand why the marketing team tried to keep the whole "Shia LaBeouf plays Indie's son" a secret. It was kind of obvious.

Again, I loved the way the film was shot, how they maintained the original thematic motifs, and the shot-in-the-80's-but-is-reminiscent-of-the-50's style, but it was just so out of this world. Literally. Shia Labeouf swinging through trees, and men getting eaten alive by giant ants was just too much. Even the king with his ripping-out-hearts fetish seemed believable compared to the stuff they pulled in the Crystal Skull. Plus, was it only me or did Harrison Ford look exponentially old?

This movie is graced with my 3 GOOMBA rating only because it holds the clout of the original series. I don't know what is up with Spielberg and his love for E.T., which basically only leads me to one conclusion. Steven Spielberg is an alien. George Lucas must be his mate. Random, you think? Try comparing it to this movie.

Movie Review by Jenn Bollish at 7:04 PM 1 comments  

Sex And The City: The Movie

Sunday, June 08, 2008


Before Sex And The City, shoes were just things you stuck on your feet to keep them from getting dirty. Before Sex And The City, designers were just people who stuck a hefty price tag on their clothing. Before Sex And The City, sex was taboo. But this show, where some closed-minded folk could synonymize it to pornography, was witty, deep, and it revolutionized television.

The four thirty-something women (who are now forty-something) are back, but this time on the silver screen. All four are still wonderfully fabulous and satisfyingly stable in their relationships. Miranda and Steve are married in Brooklyn, Samantha is living it up with Smith in LA, Charlotte and Harry happily dote over their adopted daughter, and Carrie and Big shop for the perfect Manhattan apartment. However, they're still themselves: Samantha, sex crazed as usual; Miranda, cynical even more so than normal; Carrie, adorably mature and sincere; and Charlotte (my favorite) optimistic, naive, and still the lady. Yet, of course, in any happily ever after, there has to be some unhappily in between.

I absolutely loved the show, so of course, I absolutely loved the movie. Oh, and the clothes! The clothes! Lawsie mercy! The glorious clothes! What I wouldn't give to be the Wardrobe Director's assistant. But aside from the clothes, this movie showed the characters's maturity and growth, and it was well told, well written, and well received. These woman are refreshingly imperfect, and they love and lose just like real women, only with a incredibly lavish and ambitious lifestyles. Their friendship is so concrete and visible in their love for one another that it makes me appreciate the girlfriends I have.

I love these woman, their crazy hysterics with men and sex, and their genuine longing for their ever after. However, if you haven't seen any of the show, you wouldn't know what the heck was going on. The key driver for this film is the history of these woman, how far they've come and who they are now. Without knowing any of that, this film is meaningless and seemingly superfiscial. If I had my way, Sex would be 4.5 GOOMBAS, but Sex and the City: The Movie just doesn't stand on its own. Even still, that doesn't stop me from being a fan of these Manolo Blahnik wearing, Prada purse carrying, Dolche dressed, New York women.

Movie Review by Jenn Bollish at 5:44 PM 0 comments