the movieGOOMBA

2.5 GOOMBAS

I thought that since my last post started with Brad, my next post might as well start with his good friend George. As a kid, my favorite ER doctor was Dr. Carter (Noah Wyle), but that was probably because he was closer to my age than George. As I got older, I started to appreciate Clooney's salt and pepper hair, effortless charm, and movie star good looks. And the best part yet is, he doesn't jump on couches professing his love for a woman 20 years his junior, he doesn't attempt to single-handedly adopt one child from every country, he doesn't preach pre-Vatican 2 practices (yet at least). He seems just kind of down-to-earth. Even when he plays a selfish prick, he still seems normal - and dreamy. So that's all the good I have to say about Mr. Clooney. Michael Clayton, on the other hand, is a slimy, lowly lawyer who seems like he's out for redemption. I don't like him.

The film starts with Clayton gambling away his dirty corporate dollars at a seedy, back room poker table. When he leaves and takes a drive, he fatefully exits his car to look at some horses, and then something unexpected happens. Then the movie takes you back to a few days earlier to see what events had transpired before the incident. Michale Clayton is a lawyer. The custodial kind. He cleans up messes that other lawyers can't. When something happens to his colleague and friend, Arthur Edens, Clayton becomes suspicious of U North, the agricultural conglomerate, after he learns Eden's progress in the case against them.

Boring and slow, like many of the Oscar nominated movies for 2008, Michael Clayton really had nothing that I'd expect in a good film. There was no character investment, George Clooney acted as he did in every other George Clooney role, and it wasn't "thrilling" as the genre, of which this film falls under, promises. I could have cared less about what happened to the characters. Live, die, all the same to me. I have no idea why George Clooney was nominated for best actor. Maybe the Academy just liked to look at him. And half the time, I had no idea about what the heck was going on. You could call this film subtle or understated. I just call it dull and complex.

I will give Michael Clayton the 0.5 GOOMBA boost for Tilda Swinton's performance as insecure yet simultaneously diabolical U North Chief Counsel member and for George's ability to depict redemptive intentions in his character. However, the movieGOOMBA does not recommend Michael Clayton unless you're really into legal thrillers. The ending was mildly engrossing and meaningful but does not really warrant a viewing, unless you're like me and will watch anything.